


Heavy Rain

by PorterHawk



Series: Swapfell: Brotherhoods [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fellswap (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Swapfell Red (Undertale), Anger Management, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Brotherly Bonding, Cats make it better though!, Chronic Illness, Crooked Cops, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, Fantastic Racism, Fellswap Papyrus (Undertale) - Freeform, Fellswap Sans (Undertale) - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Happy Ending, Humor, Illnesses, Major Illness, Police Brutality, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Racism, Razz tries his best, References to Depression, Sick Sans (Undertale), Swapfell Papyrus (Undertale), Swapfell Sans (Undertale), Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), We have a lot to slog through before that, anger issues, cat snuggling, stray kitten
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:22:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 57,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25496011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorterHawk/pseuds/PorterHawk
Summary: Razz has had a very rough go on the surface. Between his racist coworkers, psychological issues and his brother’s waning loyalty, he’s been finding the days harder and harder to get through.Will he be able to repair the damage caused to his and his brothers relationship? Or will he fall under the pressure of living a civilian life?It may take help from an unlikely, extremely fuzzy source, to get there. (Warning: lots of cat fluff is ahead)
Series: Swapfell: Brotherhoods [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/970221
Comments: 295
Kudos: 103





	1. Heavy Rain

A blaring alarm, an angry pound on the snooze button, and a tired groan from the resident Fellverse skeleton as he slowly forced himself into a sitting position.

Another day.

Same as the rest.

Razz sat there for several minutes staring at the door, his body still exhausted from another night of restless sleep. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept decently. He tried to dedicate a few brain cells to remembering, but quickly gave up realizing how much effort it required. After a few more minutes of mentally preparing himself he forced his legs over the side of the bed, standing up tiredly and heading for the shower. The blast of cold water was enough to get him somewhat awake, though the thought of crawling back in bed wasn’t a bad one honestly.

There was a time in his life when he didn’t need an alarm clock. He could wake up completely alert and ready to go for the day. Recently though, that’s been getting harder and harder to do. Even the nights when he couldn’t sleep a wink, the bed seemed far more preferable than the outside world.

Throwing on his uniform shorts and button up, Razz secured his cap and shuffled over to his brother’s door.

“Wake up Pap-“ he stopped himself on the fifth knock.

Right. Papyrus, or Slim as he’s been going by, was staying at the Fell brother’s home. His brother hadn’t visited in months, meaning knocking on the door would be a waste of time. He was scheduled to come by tomorrow, if Slim felt like it at least.

His hands subconsciously tightened into fist. He wanted to punch that smug grin off of Red’s face. The three were probably making fun of him right now, and Razz would never know the difference. His brother certainly wouldn’t tell him about their conversations together.

He didn’t tell him anything anymore.

Turning to the living room, Razz marched into the kitchen and threw the fridge open. The shelves were relatively barren except for a half gallon of milk, lunch meat, cheese, five bananas, half a loaf of bread, and some baggies containing pre made sandwiches for his lunches that week. He wasn’t feeling hungry at the moment, so making a full breakfast wouldn’t be worth it. Deciding to grab a banana to munch on he threw a sandwich baggie in his lunchbox and filled up a water bottle with hot fluid. Dropping a black tea bag into the concoction he mixed it up with a spoon before taking a sip.

It tasted like laziness. Normally he boiled the water before throwing the tea in, but it was already ten till six. If he took the time to do that he was going to be late for work. He couldn’t afford to be late, even if he really didn’t care.

Lacing up his boots Razz left his empty apartment and headed towards the parking lot. He was on the first floor as much as that sucked. It was an easier place for potential thieves to break in, not that he owned anything of value.

Not anymore.

He approached his vehicle. A gray Sonata that was originally within his price range. Unbenounced to him though, it was a lemon. He originally saw it online, a used vehicle that seemed perfect for his needs. Now he was stuck with a stupid trash heap that had constant transmition issues no matter how many mechanics looked at it.

Opening the driver side door an orange blur rushed between his legs into the car. That wasn’t normal. He blinked, realising it was a skinny orange feline now sniffing at his lunch box curiously. 

“Shoo! Get out of the car!” Razz waved his hand at the cat currently taking up his passenger seat.

“Meow!” The cat whines needily and started rubbing up against his lunch box like that would do anything.

Stupid ass cat…

Wait.

In a moment of genius, he opened up his lunch box and pulled a corner piece from his sandwich, being sure to include some meat and cheese chunks.

“Here cat. You want the food right?” He waved it in the feline's face, the cat unable to keep its eyes off the morcel. “Go get it!” Razz chucked it halfway across the parking lot, the orange tabby bolting out of the car after its breakfast. Slipping into the vehicle he sped off before the cat came back. He wouldn’t have any time to spare. As long as he kept his head low the boss shouldn’t notice. 

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

The boss noticed, and he was written up for it. Apparently being sixty-two seconds late to punch in was enough for a write up, as long as you weren’t human of course.

It was well past four in the afternoon when he pulled his delivery truck back into the station. Only an eleven hour day for once. He was used to spending over twelve hours regularly on his delivery routes, but through some miracle his volume of packages were lower than normal. 

That didn’t stop every dog on his route from trying to bite a chunk out of him. He was basically a walking chew toy to them, and he had his regular army of canines chasing after his vehicle by the time he finished.

If it weren’t forbidden for him to use magic in public he’d have sent those annoying beasts to the afterlife already. Stupid Queen and her stupid orders.

On the plus side though, this meant the only gym in town that didn’t have a “no monster” policy was still open, and he had his gym bag all packed for when such an occasion presented itself. He actually had a membership there, but his work schedule had completely prevented regular visits. He was on the verge of canceling it, but was glad to finally have an opportunity to go.

He was quick to drive over despite his car complaining the whole time through lurching and all sorts of weird noises. Thankfully he made it to the run down building without the engine stalling. It was an old brick structure, just a plain sign with no neon lights or fancy advertising, but it was a place he could finally let loose a little.

Slinging the duffle bag over his shoulder Razz stepped into the lobby, a rather disinterested young man with scraggly brown hair sat behind the counter looking bored. 

“Welcome to Quick Fit.” He said tiredly. The part of his usual speech that would ask about how he could help died as soon as he realized Razz was a monster. His frame became a bit more guarded, but he didn’t try to throw him out either. Without saying a word the skeleton flashed his membership card, the receptionist sliding over a check in sheet which he signed without any fanfare. A quick change in the locker room and he was now on the main floor where only three humans were currently working out. They all glanced at him and rolled their eyes, one even smirking at the fact he didn’t actually have any muscles. 

Tightening his fist Razz inhaled deeply like his therapist taught him, walking straight to the punching bag near the wall and away from everyone else. The noises of equipment in use all ceased as soon as he approached it, one of the humans actively laughing.

“Hey short stuff. Not to be rude, but maybe you should start with something better for your… body type.” The others chuckled along, Razz shoving his headphones over his skull before he completely blew up at them. Just like his therapist said.

Stay quiet, don’t let them think their words have power. 

Now it was just him and this punching bag.

He hooked his IPad around his waistband and hit the play button, a very heavy guitar strumming along to pounding drums and a driving base. He closed his sockets and breathed in. This was the first time he’d been able to really spar in a long time. His apartment was too small to fit a punching bag, and there weren’t many places in town where he could hide away and practice without humans spotting him.

But not today.

Exhaling, his sockets narrowed at the heavy bag in front of him. He couldn’t attack with his magic, but he could let loose on it in every other way. Hopping back and forth on his feet, his mind's eye started to picture one of the possessed dummies attacking him from back home. A projectile from the right, dodge to the left. A second from the left, weave right and punch. 

Delivering a series of blows he hopped back, ducking and jumping around it like it was actively attacking.

Fighting wasn’t a stationary sport. Being light on his feet was vital to survival. That much he refused to forget.

Dive in for another series of punches, kick off the bag performing a spinning backflip and barely stopping himself from throwing a bone attack.

As soon as his feet hit the ground the skeleton rushed in delivering another series of punches and kicks. He didn’t even notice the stuffing fall out of the seams, or how the thing started to give more and more with each successive hit.

He stopped seeing the Mad Dummy. 

Now it was his racist boss and coworkers.

The assholes in the same room currently laughing at him.

The Fell brothers that took his brother away.

And the human child that freed them into a new nightmare.

“GYYYAAHHHH!!!”

With one final roar he roundhouse kicked the bag, the thing snapping off of the metal support it dangled from and flying against the wall.

He stopped and used his sleeve to wipe the sweat from his brow. That heavy guitar riff was still hammering through his headphones like some sort of boss music, and the fact that the damn bag couldn’t even handle his workout was frustrating.

“EXCUSE ME!” He jumped, nearly stabbing the guy in his shock. He dissipated the half formed bone immediately before the man noticed, turning around to see the receptionist glaring at him angrily. Removing his headphones Razz looked at him questioningly. He pointed to the destroyed punching bag like it was a shit Razz had taken on the carpet, and this chump was his owner disciplining him. “You’re going to have to pay for that.”

“Isn’t it the gym's responsibility to replace worn and broken items?” Razz deadpanned. The man just got even angrier. 

“Either pay for the punching bag or I will be filing a police report.” The skeleton glanced at the other people in the gym, all of them taken aback by his sheer aggression and power.

They were scared of him.

Begrudgingly Razz wrote out a check and was promptly black listed from the establishment. He snarled but left without another word. He didn’t have it in him to fight back at the moment. 

Not even getting the chance to change he was unceremoniously kicked out, being forced to take the walk of shame back to his vehicle. Of all the humiliations he could have suffered today, this wasn’t one he had expected. Being stared at by those damn humans that threw him out of one of the few places he actually enjoyed spending time.

He wished today had never happened.

Sluggishly he threw his gym bag in the car and started it, the thing taking several tries before the engine finally tutted to life. The ride home felt quiet, even with the static on the radio filling the silence. If he was lucky a few seconds of real music would come through before returning to that horrible ear grinding noise.

Maybe quiet wasn’t the right word to describe it.

Lonely. That was the word.

He’d felt this way for a long time, he just never wanted to admit it. He was far too stubborn.

His job sucked, all of his coworkers were racist assholes that loved seeing how far they could push him. His neighbors were equally bad, only they constantly fought with each other at ungodly hours of the morning keeping him awake. On top of that, he was losing the only monster that he’d ever genuinely cared about, and it was because of his own stubbornness and volatile behavior. 

The sun had just started to set by the time he finally parked outside of his crappy apartment complex. It was in a part of town no sane person would actively choose to live in, not that his salary allowed for anything nicer. It was already difficult finding landlords that even considered renting to monsters, let alone in nice areas. What he really needed was a house away from the city, but for that a bank would have to willingly give him a home loan. 

And last he checked, that wasn’t happening anytime soon.

Stepping out of his vehicle he set the car alarm and shuffled towards the door, not expecting a loud “meow” at his feet. That stupid orange tabby was rubbing up against his tibia like he’d feed it or something.

“Shoo! I don’t have any food left!” He lightly kicked it away and fumbled with the apartment keys, only for his leg to be assaulted a second time. He didn’t bother saying anything, slipping his hand under its stomach and lightly tossing it into a bush before slipping inside. The skeleton sighed, finally rid of that damn-

“Meow!”

“You have got to be kidding me!” Razz turned around seeing the cat sitting outside the entryway. “Nobody wants you here! GO AWAY!” 

“Meow!”

“GAHHHHHHH!” With a snarled Razz stomped to his unit ignoring the Snowdrake currently watching him from the stairwell. 

Unlocking the deadbolt he finally entered, leaning against the door momentarily trying to calm his breathing.

It really wasn’t much. The run down living room was sparsely furnished with an old couch, a television he never watched and a dinged up coffee table. Usually he’d find his brother watching all sorts of stupid programs when he came home, but now it sat black and silent with no users in sight. Slim was still living with the Fell brothers. He wasn’t coming back until tomorrow. They were probably watching movies, or doing more reading lessons, or maybe exploring their Ebbott City and having a good time. 

Without him.

He wasn’t going to argue that it wasn’t deserved. It wasn’t until meeting his alternates that he learned.

Everything he had been taught about his brother was a lie. And now it was too late to make up for what he’d done.

Damn his own hubris.

Throwing his bag by the wall Razz kicked his shoes off and skipped the kitchen. He wasn’t feeling hungry. 

All he wanted to do was lay down.

Shirt and socks went abandoned on his desk chair. He didn’t even bother changing out of his workout shorts. Collapsing on top of the covers he curled on his side, the sounds of the complex stopping him from closing his sockets. The neighboring couple screamed at each other, Razz able to understand every word through the paper thin walls. Police sirens and gunshots echoed from the streets outside and he could hear the faintest rumble of thunder in the distance.

His soul felt cold, even though the apartment was extremely warm. He didn’t have AC, and it wasn’t safe to leave the windows cracked in this part of town. He remembered nights like this. Usually Papyrus would knock saying he had a bad dream, or that would be his excuse anyway. They’d fall asleep next to each other then, or on top of each other, depending on who was the more restless sleeper that night. This time he was completely alone, and it was all too suffocating. 

Squeezing his sockets shut he curled further in on himself and grabbed at his sternum. If he could fall asleep then he wouldn’t be thinking about these horrible things, but in order for that to happen his mind needed to calm down. It was a vicious cycle, and all he could do was wallow in the desolation and the noises of his neighbors now throwing things at each other.

That one sounded like a dish or cup shattering.

The next was something heavier, landing with a loud thud. Weights perhaps? Or maybe a bowling ball-

A scratch at the window made him stiffen. He hyper focused on the sound shutting out the screaming next door. First it started out soft and unsure before growing into louder, more consistent swipes.

Someone was trying to break in.

Summoning a bone sword Razz’s survival instincts kicked in, adrenalin starting to pump and his body responding to deeply ingrained memory.

He crept closer and closer, soul pounding with an odd mix of fear and excitement, something he hadn’t experienced since the Royal Guard was disbanded. That noise was still loud and consistent like they didn’t know he was coming.

Good.

Reaching the window he paused at the curtain, his hand hovering over the fabric. The scratching at the glass was still loud and urgent. Inhaling sharply he grasped the fabric and pulled, his bone sword disappearing instantly. Staring back at him were the bright green eyes of that damn stray that wouldn’t leave him alone.

“Would you go away!” He snarled and threw the curtain shut, stomping his way back to bed. That dumb animal started meowing at the top of its lungs, forcing an exasperated groan from him. Spinning on his heal he threw the curtain open again and glared at the stupid thing.

“I don’t want you here! Would you leave me alone?!” His efforts were met with more scratching at the window. The cat was staring at him with those big innocent eyes.

“What do you want from me?! I said GO!” 

“MROW!” The thing howled and rubbed up against the glass. 

“I can’t give you anything! This is literally a waste of your time-“

“SHUT UP OVER THERE!” A loud series of thuds pounded through the wall, the neighbors stopping their fight just to enrage him. “PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION OVER HERE!”

“FUCK YOU AND YOUR DAMN SHIT!” Razz grabbed the closest thing to him and chucked it at the wall, a picture frame shattering upon impact. 

“Shit!” He rushed over and carefully pulled the photo from the shards of glass. It was a very old picture of him and Papyrus, from the day he let his brother become his personal scout. They were the same height back then, his brother beaming in his new oversized jacket that had the delta rune patch on the chest and arm. All while Razz looked straight faced and ready to kill the camera operator.

Well it was taken by Muffet, so he probably was-

“MEOW!”

“I SAID SHUT UP!!!!!” He cursed and screamed, eventually wearing himself out and collapsing against the wall. The photo was unharmed and that’s all that mattered, though the cat still wouldn’t stop! Sitting there silently he breathed, actively stabbing holes in the floor with a jagged bone trying to release the last of his frustrations.

…

“Meow!”

“OH THAT IS IT-““ 

A low rumble of thunder made him flinch. He still wasn’t used to hearing those sounds from the sky, and not needing to worry about rocks potentially falling and crushing him.

He glanced back at the cat and couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy. Did cats get that same feeling of fear every time the sky let loose? He did not know if they were capable of thought like that.

He didn’t think Slim was, and look where that led him.

Slipping the photo in his desk drawer he approached the window again, looking down on the eager creature still pawing at the glass.

“Fine. You can come inside. But just for tonight!” He cracked open the squeaky window, the stray squeezing its way in before Razz could get it open a decent amount. Shaking his head he forced the sticky thing back down and locked it, turning back to bed only seeing that cat was kneading his sheets like it owned them.

“That is MY bed! Get off!” Razz shoved the stupid thing to the floor. He crawled onto his lumpy mattress, still watching for the feline. It didn’t come from the obvious side, leaping in from the headboard right near his face.

“You insufferable worm! I said stay off!” He flailed trying to knock it off the bed. The cat hopped off and scampered around the floor some more, leaping back on the bed only for Razz to finally grab it.

“I SAID KNOCK IT OFF!” He screeched starting to shake the thing in his rage. The cat just went limp and took it, it’s pupils large and chest rumbling from the powerful purring it made. The innocent face on this thing was reminding him of someone he didn't want to think about anymore and he had no clue how to deal with it.

It’s like a single scrap of food was enough to earn this things full trust, and that behavior was even MORE like that of someone he didn’t want to think about right now!

“How you’ve managed to survive this long on your own is beyond me.” Razz huffed but let the cat go. He fell back onto the bed and curled up on his side. After a few minutes the cat finally seemed to settle at the foot of his bed, right as the patter of rain against the window started. Slowly it increased in intensity, soon becoming a heavy downpour accompanied by regular flashes of lightning and thunder. Each time the sky rumbled he couldn’t help but flinch. He wasn’t deathly afraid of thunder like Fell was, but he could definitely say he didn’t like it.

Oddly enough the purring vibrations of the cat by his feet made it a little more bearable. Maybe it was just the presence of another living creature in the room, or maybe his lack of sleep was really starting to mess with him. Either way he finally managed to slip into a somewhat restful snooze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AgentBengalTiger Recently brought to my attention that Razz constantly gets the short end of things in my stories, and there aren’t many Fellswap/Swapfell (I still struggle to differentiate between them) stories that aren’t smut focused. Somehow Razz still got the short end of the stick in this chapter too lol. Now I’m not sure why I even wrote this.
> 
> I have ideas for at least one more chapter. Not sure if it will continue after that though. 
> 
> Let me know if you all would like more.


	2. A lull in the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razz gets more well acquainted with his new house guest, only to stress over a variety of factors.
> 
> He really hates spiders.

He knew it was morning, just based on the increase in car horns and yelling outside his apartment. Still, he didn’t get up or even open his sockets. The bed felt way too cozy today, and it was his day off anyway. He actually had a two day weekend, and he was going to enjoy every second of it. Razz laid there hoping to fall back asleep. He came close, until a very light weight settled on his face. It was soft, and tickled his nasal bone, but also smelled like garbage!

“GAHH! THAT STINKS!” He grabbed at the thing on his face chucking it across the room, only to remember he had a house guest as soon as it screeched at the motion. Thankfully it landed on its feet unharmed, only to look up at him clearly annoyed. “Well stay off my face then!” He shouted defensively. ”You smell like shit!” 

“Meow!”

“Would you stop that! You’re so loud!”

“Meow!”

“Guhhhhhh!” Razz threw his pillow at the cat only for it to dodge and start scratching at the door. Tiredly he looked over to his alarm clock. Nine in the morning. Usually this would be considered sleeping in far too late, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Maybe laying back down for a while wouldn’t be so bad-

“Meow!”

“Alright fine! Jesus!” He was quick to hit the shower and get changed, all while that stupid creature cried and scratch at the door much to his annoyance. It wasn’t until he stepped out clean and ready that the feline ceased its incessant noises.

Finally.

“Alright. The rain has passed and it’s morning. Time for you to leave.” He walked over to the front door and opened it, stepping to the side waiting for the cat to run out into the hallway. To his annoyance it didn’t, instead sitting on the floor and looking up to him questioningly.

“Hurry up already. I’m sure you have equally pressing things to do today, so you might as well go.” Not that Razz actually had anything planned for his day off, but he wouldn’t let the cat know that. Instead the feline responded by rolling on its back and stretching, bringing its paws close to its chest and yawning. It was cute in that sickly sweet sort of way, and he didn’t like the feeling it invoked. 

“Well you can’t live here!”

“Prrrrrrr! Prrrrrr!” It rumbled loudly as it’s pupils doubled in size, looking up to him like a fuzzy version of his baby brother back when he was actually a babybones. Stars dammit why did it make him feel all fuzzy?!

“Alright, so let’s say you do stay here. I know nothing about cats.”

“Meow!”

“That’s not helping.”

“Mrrrow!”

“Jesus, why are you so annoying?! It’s like talking with the Mutt-“ His shoulders fell and his soul sank at a particularly painful memory. Of being with his brother, and going off on him after a rough day of guard duty. All he wanted to do was show him a new magic attack he figured out, and Razz just-

“Meow!”

“I heard you!” He shut the front door and crossed his arms with a huff. “Well, I suppose I should put some tea on. You better like tea or we’re going to have problems.” He honestly didn’t know if cats could drink tea. Well, he’d find out eventually either way. Making his way into the kitchen the stupid cat seemed to get extremely excited all of a sudden. 

“What now?” He raised a brow bone at the thing.

“Meow!” It spun around his legs eagerly expecting to get something. 

“I don’t know what you want.” Razz huffed rolling his eyelights. He spent a few seconds tripping over the dumb feline rubbing up against him while he tried to boil some water for his tea. After nearly face planting into the stove he finally snapped.

“What?! If you want something then use your damn words!” He shouted down at the thing.

“Meow! Meow! Meow!”

“Oh yeah? What if I start doing it back then? Not so funny anymore is it?!”

“Meow!”

“MEOW!”

“Meow!”

“MEOW!”

“Mrow!”

“MEEEEEOOOWWWWW!!!”

“Meow!”

“GOD DAMMIT YOU LITTLE SHIT!” Razz threw his arms up realizing this was going nowhere, turning around and stomping towards his refrigerator. He flung the door open only to get the most eager response from that stupid thing yet.

…

Oh.

It was hungry.

“Well how was I supposed to know?!” He shouted, only to realize he was trying to defend his lack of understanding to a dumb cat.

“W-well… whatever.” Razz growled and turned back to the food. “I don’t have any cat food though…” He scratched his temple trying to determine what to feed it. Was bread bad for cats? He gave some to the thing yesterday but didn’t think that would be a good full meal. They like meat though, right? Catty always had that thing for fish. The sliced ham might be his best bet then, though he only had two slices left.

Then again. A quick and easy food source.

“You’ll have to make this last until I figure something else out.” He took out the meat and started ripping it into small chunks, the cat vacuuming up every single bit before they even hit the floor.

“And that was all I had.” He sighed, though the cat was still acting needy. Well, if he was going to let it stay a while he would need to accommodate its needs properly. What did he actually NEED to take care of a cat though? “You’re lucky the internet exists or you’d be sent packing right this instant.” He pulled up several websites, some from the ASPCA and nonprofit rescues that seemed to paint a decent picture of what all he would need. This may take a while.

“I’m heading to the store. I shall return in a few hours.” He announced before moving to slip his boots on. That’s when the stench of something foul hit his nasal cavity. It had an air of ammonia, and it wasn’t like anything he’d smelled before.

“What is that?!” He covered his nasal passage looking around for the potential source. His sights immediately fell on his gym bag, which now had a massive wet spot on it. 

Wait.

“Did you pee on my stuff?!”

“Meow!”

“Don’t change the subject! Why would you pee there?!”

“Meow!”

“GOD DAMMIT!” He kicked the bag across the room, thankfully not leaving a trail of urine behind it. Well, he supposed the cat wouldn’t know how to use a toilet to begin with, and it’s not like he would be going to a gym ever again, so this was really doing him a favor.

“Very well. You may continue to pee on THAT BAG specifically until I return home. If you urinate on anything else it’s back on the streets for you!”

The cat purred and rubbed up against his leg, Razz needing to kick it away before sliding through the barely cracked doorway into the hall. He was getting a weird foreboding feeling all of a sudden.

He really hoped he wouldn’t regret this.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

“This is a nightmare.” Razz grumbled looking between his list and the many isles of pet related products that filled the entire store. Birds were chirping and cawing loudly inside the building, and all the noise was just too distracting.

He had no clue where to even start.

He was looking down at his phone when a woman approached him from behind. 

“Hello sir! Is there anything you need assistance with?” It sounded like a store worker. 

He’d see how long the offer lasted. 

Turning around he looked up to a woman that had to be in her mid twenties. She was short and curvy with dark tight curls and a friendly face. Her expression faltered a little bit upon seeing his own face, but she somehow maintained her professionalism. 

“I’m looking for cat products, and perhaps the clearance section if you have one.”

“Oh! The cat section is in isles five and six, right past the aquariums. Clearance is on the back wall.” He blinked not expecting a genuine answer. It took him a moment to remember to actually respond.

“Thanks…” He said hesitantly. She smiled, somehow pretending to still look somewhat welcoming.

“Not a problem! If you need help finding anything else don’t hesitate to ask.”

“... sure.” Razz turned away with his empty cart.

Humans are weird.

Shaking it off he began walking, passing several mice and hamsters along the ends of the first isles. One particular isle display made him freeze, one with something massive, disgusting and covered in hair. Well, technically Muffet was bigger, but she qualified as a monster dammit! Not from the arachnid family!

The label said it was called a tarantula, and it just stared up at him with its many, many eyes.

“Stars why…” He grimaced feeling a slight shiver travel up his spine. Not because he was scared of it, that would be ridiculous! It was mainly due to the memory it invoked, a hard one for him to think back on.

The last thing he and his brother fought over...

XxxxxX  
*Shortly after moving to The Surface*

“Ummm… M-Master?”

“We’re not in the Underground anymore, and that’s going to be frowned upon up here. You should start calling me Sans.” Razz rolled his eyelights setting another box on the counter in their new-to-them apartment. It was run down and in a bad part of town, but he was confident they wouldn’t be staying here for long. Once they had saved up enough money they were going to buy a nice house in the countryside, FAR away from the city. They were close too with the funds they had from their Underground days.

Slim was looking at him nervously, holding his phone in hand clearly unsure if he should ask or not.

“Spit it out already. I’ve got more boxes to bring in still.”

“I was just thinking… after we’ve settled in… if I could get a new… pet?”

“What kind of pet?” Razz asked slowly. He’d already dealt with a “pet” way back when Papyrus was still a babybones, and he didn’t like where this was going.

“You know how I had that wolf spider all those-“

“Absolutely not.” He turned back to cutting the tape off the box.

“B-but you won’t have to even look at it. It can live in a tank in my room.” He pulled up some photos on his phone of a glass aquarium filled with foliage and spider webbing. “See, Fell helped me do some research-“

“So now those fakes are influencing your choices too? What’s next? Convincing you to become an arsonist?”

“They’re not fakes. They are literally versions of us, and they’re my friends.” He stated with narrowing sockets. Razz responded in kind.

“As far as I’m concerned they’ve caused nothing but trouble since we met! Your lucky I even let you visit-“

“What do you mean ‘let me?’ I go because I want to. I don’t need your permission.” Slim put his hands in his pockets, earlier nerves falling away to fresh anger. “They’re nice to me. They’d make you feel welcome too if you gave them a chance.”

“I’m the one that raised you! And you act like they are more of a family then I am!”

“At least they treat me as an equal and not like a guard dog! Thanks to them I’ve learned all sorts of new things! Things you never showed me or took the time to try!”

“Well if they’re SO great maybe you should live with them instead! It’s not like you do much anymore! What I really need is a brother I can depend on, and all you’ve done is stay over in another Universe for days on end, leaving me to fend for myself!” Razz postured up, Slim stepping back. “Do you know how hard it was?! Do you have any idea what I’ve been through?!” The tallers back hit the wall, Razz still glaring at him, not giving an inch. 

“At least they taught me how to read! As far as parenting goes you're the worst one here!” Slim snarled, clearly regretting that immediately. Razz recoiled as if he’d been slapped with a bone club. That was a very sore spot for him, something that he honestly regretted. Slim knew the reasoning… they talked about it after meeting their alternates, and he still had the nerve… 

“Master-“

“Get out.” Razz snapped, sockets going dark. 

“I-I didn’t-“

“LEAVE!” He threw the moving box at his brother, the other disappearing in a shortcut while their entire supply of mugs and plates collided with the wall in a massive shattering noise.

Razz collapsed onto a chair with the hard silence as his only companion, not realizing Slim wasn’t coming back.

XxxxX

“Damn spiders…” Razz growled clutching at his sternum. His soul was already scarred from years of fighting for survival, but the tear left from that argument was the worst wound of all. Maybe he should of sucked up his discomfort and said yes.

It wasn’t really about a pet though. It was on a subject they knew they needed to talk about, but both were too stubborn to bring it up themselves. The fighting started after meeting their alternates, and that last subject was the final straw.

He wanted to fix things now. This may be his only chance to do it too, and he was wasteing time buying stupid cat stuff.

Wait.

“If I got him a peace offering though…” Razz looked at that massive tarantula again and shuddered. It was just too gross! Of all the pets his brother ever wanted why did it have to be spiders?!

“Look Mommy a skeleton!” A child’s voice squaked out. Razz spun around in time to see a young child pointing at him while her mother dragged her away.

“Don’t acknowledge it!” She hissed dragging the kid further into the store. Razz just shook his head and walked towards the cat isle, seeing a whole section dedicated to just collars.

“A selection like this would have been great Underground.” He chuckled thinking back to the collared practice that had been abandoned since the barrier broke. Even his brother stopped wearing his collar. After their big fight…

Focus! He had shopping to do.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

Done.

He finally had all the cat shit on his list, and now he was ready to cry over all the money he was spending. A lot of stuff was from the clearance section too. Except for the collar though, he found the perfect one and he didn’t care how much he’d have to spend on it. He even got a tag made for it… after a little assistance from the store clerk at least. 

“Did you find everything?” The girl asked cheerfully. Razz blinked remembering he’d reached the check out line. Nobody in front of him or behind. It was his turn.

“Yes.” Was his simple answer. He gave her the receipt for the name tag machine, her face brightening up immediately.

“Oh! What did you go with? Can I see?” The store clerk smiled innocently. Razz passed her the plain silver tag. “This is an… interesting choice.” Her smile fell a bit as she looked back at him oddly. Razz just shrugged.

“Seemed like a good match at the time.” He started putting his items on the counter, which snapped her back to reality. 

“That’s a very unique name! I’m sure it fits very well.” She proceeded to scan the litter box and bag of cat food wanting to end the conversation. Razz couldn’t stop from looking back towards the fish tanks. He knew he shouldn’t. He REALLY shouldn’t.

Dammit why was his brain betraying him?!

“I-is something wrong sir?” The cashier asked, seeing his pained expression. He exhaled sharply, finally committing to his decision.

“Do you mind if I… grab one more item? It will only take a few seconds.”

“Go right ahead! I’ll finish scanning everything else while you grab it.”

“Thanks.” He said it halfheartedly, already regretting what he was about to do.

XxxxxxxxxxxX

“Okay cat. Before I officially give you your name, you must first be integrated into civilized society. In order for that to happen-“ He pulled out the kitty shampoo in one hand and the brushes, flea collar and nail clippers in the other. “A clean up is in order.”

The cat tilted its head in confusion, clearly unsure what was happening. Razz took that as a good sign.

“Now then, since you are in agreement, I think we should get this done right away.”

Getting the feline into his bathroom was easy enough. He had a glass sliding door over the shower instead of a shower curtain, so that would make it easier to keep the beast in place. Not that he thought bathing a cat would be difficult. It was seven pounds at most. No way it would overpower him.

“Okay cat.” He placed it in the bathtub and shut the sliding door, opening up the other side near the faucet and turning on the water, holding his hand under it waiting for it to warm up a bit.

Bad idea.

“mmmmrrRROOOOOOWWWWW!” The cat hissed and started scratching at the back portion of the door hoping to get out. It was completely trapped.

“What is wrong with you? It’s just water.” He splashed some onto the cat's side, getting an angry hiss in response. Razz just scoffed and plugged up the tub, letting the water rise and seeing the cat trying its best not to get wet. It climbed onto the very edge of the tub, balancing on the two inches of overhang and watching the fluid rise like it was poison.

“Alright, let's get this over with. Come here so we can finish.” He tried reaching for the cat only for it to puff up and hiss. Grabbing it at this angle was proving difficult anyway, so he closed that side of the door and moved to the other where he was closer. The cat tried for a second time to swipe at him and hissed some more.

“Stop being difficult! You smell awful and you’re covered in fleas!”

“HISSSSSSS!”

“So you want to play it that way, do you? Very well, the Maleficent Sans never backs down from a challenge!” He shut the door again so the cat wouldn’t escape, grabbing the shampoo bottle and entering the tub himself. It was only four inches of water, it shouldn’t have been a big deal. For some reason this cat had to make it a big deal, scratching and hissing at him as soon as his hand grabbed it’s skinny frame.

“Hold still and I’ll finish quickly!” He dunked the cat's belly into the water and splashed some onto its back, all while the thing struggled and squirmed. He could easily see the fleas actively moving between the parts in its fur, and the thought of all that crawling on his bed last night sent a shiver up his spine. 

He literally squeezed a massive glob of shampoo onto the cat’s back and started massaging the shampoo in very gently. The feline was not appreciative, now actively biting and scratching his phalanges.

“Nice try, but it’s a lot harder to hurt bone then it is skin! If I were human you might be getting somewhere.”

“MOOOOW! MOOOOOOW! MOOOOOW!” The thing yawled repeatedly, no longer fighting back. It seemed to change tactics realizing the exertion of energy was getting it nowhere. Razz took advantage of its stillness and scrubbed even more, rinsing it off only for the water to run red with flea poop and small dots of dead flea bodies.

“Disgusting!” He hissed and started draining the tub, keeping the water running now. It was another fifteen minutes of repeated shampooing, scrubbing and rinsing all while the poor animal yawled wanting to be freed. It wasn’t until he was positive all the fleas were gone and the rinse water turned clear that he finally stopped.

“There! That wasn’t so bad was it?” Razz looked down at the bony rat creature, seeing how it trembled pathetically in his hands like it would die at any minute. “You're just being dramatic.” He said with a tinge of guilt. Maybe he scrubbed a little too much, but this way he could get everything done in one bath. He opened the glass door and quickly grabbed a fluffy towel he put out for after the bath, wrapping the kitten up like a burrito and carrying it to the living room where the brush and nail clippers were waiting. Taking a seat on the couch, he turned on a nature documentary and started rubbing the towel over the fragile thing. It was oddly relaxing when the stupid cat wasn’t struggling the whole time. 

It was reminiscent of simpler times. Not necessarily peaceful. No time in the Underground could have been called peaceful, but the time when he first took over the care of his little brother. He’d have to make sure he had properly cleaned between the joints, seeing as Papyrus didn’t know how to do it. He was so small and fragile growing up, Razz had to be very gentle. Like with this stupid little kitten. 

Before long he was pulling paws out of the bundle one at time and clipping the claws, despite growls of protest. Brushing out the damp fur was easier, and the little thing actually arched its back every time the brush ran near the tail.

“Why are you so weird?” Razz couldn’t help but crack the smallest of grins. Soon enough he had completely finished, and it was time for the official naming ceremony. He placed the cat inside its new basket bed, using a bone wall to keep it in place until he finished. Razz fished the collar out of his pocket, light reflecting off the small name tag attached to this black ribbon decorated with small skulls and crossbones stretching across the band./p>

“Cat.” The skeleton cleared his nonexistent throat. “Now that you have been officially inducted into civilized society, it is my duty to give you your new name for this next stage of your life. From now on, you shall henceforth be called…” He snapped the thing onto its neck along with the flea collar.

“Lord Hater.” 

Brief pause for dramatic effect.

”Wear this name with pride, for it was gifted to you by the Maleficent Sans! Captain of the Roy-“ He had to stop himself, his shoulders falling a bit. “Well, former Royal Guard Captain. What say you on my choice in names?” He looked at the cat waiting for a response. It instead bolted under the sofa as soon as his bone wall lowered, not bothering with the noisy answers it seemed to prefer.

“I’ll take it that you like the name.” He turned his nasal bone up quite pleased with himself. Now it was time to wait for Slim to arrive.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait some more. 

He stayed with his arms crossed, foot tapping impatiently. Lord Hater remained hidden under the couch for the last couple hours, and his brother still hadn’t shown up. Should he text or call? No, he didn’t want to sound desperate or controlling. He wasn’t going to contact the Fell brothers either. No way would he EVER show vulnerability to those assholes.

Why wasn’t he here yet though?

His phone vibrated, his soul freezing up at what it could say. Quickly he checked the screen, deflating as soon as he saw the sender. Alphys had sent him a request.

‘Come to the parking lot.’

He stood up and looked out the window, seeing said lizard waving at him as soon as they made eye contact. 

Well, if his brother wasn’t coming any time soon, he might as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got some lovely feedback last chapter, so I’ve decided to continue! Mostly fluff this chapter, though we get a peek into Razz and Slim’s status.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated! They always make my day.


	3. Downpour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slim finally arrives, and Razz does his best to make a good impression,
> 
> Did I mention he hates spiders?

“Everything alright Sans? You look like shit.” Alphys commented, popping the lid off of her bear. They were seated in a bar across the street, most other customers giving them a wide berth of space.

“I’m fine.” He said shortly.

“I’m going to call bullshit on that right now.” Alphys deadpanned. “If you're not gonna tell me what’s wrong, I’ll just have to guess.” She looked him over carefully. “That whole shit show with Papyrus is the obvious answer, but that’s been going on for a few years now.”

His socket twitched a bit, still refusing to say anything.

“What about work? How are things going over there?” Well, she managed to guess a component of it. One of many.

“Can we please talk about anything else?” He rubbed his forehead tiredly, already feeling a headache forming just thinking about it. There was a reason he never actively thought about his job unless he was on shift.

“Damn, that bad?” 

“You have no idea.” He sighed. Anything related to that place was currently pushed to the farthest recesses of his mind. He didn’t want to think about it at all over his weekend.

“I don’t know why you're still working there. They treat monsters like trash in general.” She took another swig of beer before smiling from a new idea. “You should really apply for the Police Force,” Alphys stated quite confidently. Razz cringed a bit at the suggestion.

“I don’t think-“

“It will be perfect! It’s pretty similar to being in the guard, and the benefits are pretty nice. Even monsters are eligible for those too.”

“Look. I… don’t think that’s a good career choice for me.” The skeleton mumbled, not comfortable at all. He had thought about becoming a police officer. He had thought long and hard about it. 

Alphy’s didn’t seem convinced.

“Really? This coming from the guy that was in charge of the Underground’s military force? You were basically the police chief back then.”

“You don’t understand-“

“You’re right Sans, I don’t understand. You’ll need to elaborate for-“

“I don’t have the temperament okay!” Razz shouted. The bar patrons all stoped their own conversations momentarily to listen in, eventually growing bored when a brawl didn’t break out. He had to take several deep breaths before continuing. “Getting angry at a civilian for being uncooperative or racist… back in the Underground, I could literally dust anyone that bothered to try. A slight to me was an attack on the crown, and that’s just how it worked. But could you imagine if I lost my temper with a human and killed them? Our entire race would be crucified, all because I had a tantrum. I… I’m not suited for the role…” He trailed off, now feeling more tired than angry. Razz would love to get into a profession like his old career, doing something he knew and understood. If his temper would put all monsters in jeopardy though, then he’d need to make the responsible decision, even if it killed him.

Alphys hummed considering his answer, taking a few more sips from her alcohol before continuing.

“Okay, you may have a point there.” She conceded. “But there are other options still. What about the military? You’d certainly make a good drill Sergeant if nothing else.”

“They don’t accept monster applicants.” He rubbed eye sockets feeling frustrated all over again. He really was going to be trapped as a delivery driver for the rest of his life.

“Damn man. I don’t know what to tell you. No wonder you’re stressed.” Well, part of the reason, but he wasn’t going to elaborate. “I’ll let you know if any desk jobs open up around the station. I can put in a good word for you.”

“I appreciate that.” He lifted his beer bottle in a show of thanks before taking a massive swig. Alphys seemed to consider something for a moment, her lips getting tight before shaking off the thought.

“What?” Razz raised his brow bone suspiciously.

“Nothing.” She said shortly. “I should probably get going soon. Undyne and I have date plans for tonight.”

“Oh god, is it that larping thing she was squealing about?”

“Hey, larping is cool! You’re just jealous.” Alphys huffed at his condescending chuckle.

“Right. I’m jealous that you have to use cardboard weapons instead of your magic ones to play fight. Sounds REALLLLLL great to me.”

“Seriously though. Do you have any hobbies? I haven’t seen you at the gym in a while.” Razz practically gagged on his beer without an esophagus, scrambling to defend himself at her judging gaze.

“Of course I have hobbies! The Maleficent Sans always has a busy schedule!”

She raised a brow unamused. He needed to elaborate.

“I… I take in stray beasts off the streets!”

“Stray beast?” Alphys wasn’t falling for his bullshit, but Razz dug his feet in deeper.

“I do! In fact, I took in a ferocious creature yesterday that I will train to strike fear in the hearts of my enemies!” He crossed his arms and huffed, Alphys unable to contain her laughter any longer. The battle-scarred lizard banged her hand on the table soon devolving into a cackling fit. It just made Razz angry.

“Alright then Sans, you’ll have to introduce me to your ‘ferocious beast’ sometime soon.”

“I will!” He snarled standing up. “And it will send you running for the hills when I do!”

“I’d like to see it try.” She wiped a few tears away and tried to steady her breathing. Razz scoffed and stormed out of the bar, ignoring Alphys’ continued laughter at his response. He’d show her! Of course he had hobbies, he just… couldn’t think of any at that moment in time. He was a VERY busy skeleton after all, and he still had a stupid brother to meet with.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

He opened the door to his apartment and closed it roughly, mind still reeling from the conversation he had with Alphys. His thoughts on hobbies had shifted to a subject earlier in the conversation. Maybe looking for a new job would be the next best step. He hated everything about his current one, and he was positive the boss would literally throw a party the second he announces his leave. 

A bell jingling made him freeze, bone sword forming in his hand ready to fight if needed. He glanced around only to see Lord Hater roll out from the other side of the couch with a ball in its mouth.

Right.

He purchased a collar with a bell. Of course the dumb cat would be making a jingling noise. Shakily he dissipated his bone trying to come down from the Adrenalin high. Despite all this time passing he still felt on edge at every waking hour. Monsters didn’t want him dead anymore. The Surface was far more peaceful than the Underground ever was, so why was he finding it so hard to relax?

Leaning back against the door he inhaled slowly then exhaled. In and out, just get into a calm rhythm and the panic would cease-

“Come on kitty!” He jumped at hearing his brother's voice, already feeling panicked all over again. A second blue ball rolled out into view from the hidden side of the couch, Lord Hater pouncing on the thing with everything it had. “Good kitty, that’s it.”

Razz slowly stepped forward when Lord Hater ran towards the voice. He peaked around the sofa, seeing his brother sitting cross-legged on the floor while that cat pounced and bit at his phalanges. 

He finally realized Razz was in the room, glancing up to him with his smile falling away.

“Hey Mas… I-I mean, hey bro.” He greeted with a small wave. “Sorry… you weren’t home so I decided to wait and…. I-I didn’t realize you had a pet.” He stroked the cat’s back gently, watching as it arched its butt up at the motion.

“I-It’s fine.” Razz finally said before correcting himself. “I mean… it’s your house too, so you shouldn’t apologize for anything.” Slim nodded, looking down at that dumb feline again with a warm smile.

“How long have you had her?”

“Well, technically she asserted herself into my room around twenty hours ago. So if you want to count from the moment she moved in, it’s been a day.”

“Pfttt!” Slim barely managed to contain a laugh. Razz just raised a brow bone in confusion.

“What? What did I say?”

“N-nothing… just reminds me of a story Chara told me when… never mind.” He turned his attention back to the cat currently biting at his zipper pull.

“So… Lord Hater?” He said it more as a question, flicking the cat’s name tag. Razz shrugged, feeling his face flush a bit in embarrassment. Why did people keep saying that?

“W-well it seemed like a good choice at the time!” Was his only reply. Slim just chuckled and went back to playing with Lord Hater. Razz quietly watched, eventually taking a seat on the couch. It was relaxing, and a little exciting whenever the dumb cat did a full-on dive for one of the toys or even performed an aerial flip trying to catch one of the feathers at the end of a wand.

“Have you tried yet?”

“What?” Razz blinked at the question. Slim switched the wand around so the handle was presented to him.

“Here.” He pushed the toy further when Razz didn’t take it. “You should try playing with her.”

“Her? How can you tell?” Razz leaned over when Slim picked up Lord Hater and flipped its- her tail up. He listened to the brief explanation and nodded along, not realizing there was literally only one way to tell the difference.

“N-now try playing for her.” He pushed the toy between his fingers. The cat tackled the feathers at the end of the string, making him flinch a bit at the unexpected movement. 

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Pull it around like a mouse or bird might move. Cats are natural-born killers.” Razz tugged the toy a bit, Lord Hater clumsily threw her paws at the thing trying to yank it off the string.

“She’s going for it!” Razz exclaimed, his face flushing a bit hearing his brother suppress a giggle. “W-well, of course, I would only allow a natural murderer into my home! Only the toughest creatures deserve to stay with me!”

”O-of course bro. Wouldn't expect differently.” They sat in silence for a long while after that, Slim occasionally offering hints to make the toy seem like a better target, and Lord Hater barely letting up.

“How do you know all this?” Razz questioned.

“Fell has a cat,” Slim answered. “He’s an older cat, not nearly this active. I-I learned a lot about cats though-“ He stopped realizing how tense Razz had gotten. Sighing Slim stood up, Razz too frustrated to say something not stupid.

He knew the Fell brothers would come up in conversation, he KNEW they needed to talk about them. Still, just mentioning their stupid nicknames made his temper flare.

“It’s… it’s getting late. I’m heading to bed.”

“Yeah.” Razz stood up too, throwing the wand toy in a kitchen drawer before heading to his own bedroom. Slim opened the door to his room and paused.

“Bro, what's this?” Slim was gesturing into his bedroom, where Razz had put the empty aquarium he bought earlier. It was time, and he wasn’t ready at all.

“W-well… since I recently got a pet I… f-figured it was only fair that you could have one of your own.” Stars he sounded so flustered. 

Slim paused far longer than he cared for. “Bro, you don’t have to. I know you’re afraid of spiders-“

“Afraid?! The Maleficent Sans is afraid of nothing! How DARE YOU insinuate otherwise!” He stormed over to his brother already feeling as if Slim had spit in his face. “I was Captain of the Royal Guard! The great protector and enforcer of the Queen! You're claiming that our monarch’s personally chosen captain is afraid of a tiny spider?!”

“S-Sans, you seriously need-“ Slim stopped at the wrathful finger jabbed into his chest.

“That's it! I’m going to the pet store right now and buying you-“

“Seriously shut up!” Slim screamed back. That snapped Razz out of his angry tirade. “We’re seriously doing this now?! I’ve only been here two hours!” The elder had to take a step back, gripping at his soul trying to calm its hostile pulsing.

This was just with his brother.

He had nothing he needed to prove.

“I- sorry.” Why did he even bother with therapy if he still got mad over something this stupid? Slim seemed to catch onto his regret, his stance calming immediately.

How the hell did he do that?

“Hey, sorry for saying what I said.”

“Why are you apologising?” Razz had to take a breath already feeling irritated again. “I’m the one that yelled.” The only response he got was silence. “I’ll… see you in the morning.” He turned away and put a hand on his doorknob.

“I-If you really don’t mind me getting one… maybe we can head to the pet store tomorrow?” Slim asked carefully, trying to read his brother's reaction. In all honesty, the thought of spending time with his brother was currently outweighing what the trip to that store would ultimately mean.

“Yeah. That sounds great.” He entered his bedroom not wanting to screw things up any further, Lord Hater rushing in right behind him. 

He was quick to curl up under the covers while the cat burrowed under the blankets with him. She made her way to his bony arms and kneaded the bed, curling up by his chest and closing her eyes.

“Stupid ass cat…” he scratched its ears and closed his own sockets, falling asleep surprisingly fast. For once he managed to sleep through the whole night.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

“This is the one you want?” The pet store worker questioned. It was the same woman Razz dealt with yesterday, and she was being equally nice to his little brother. They were currently in front of that tank with the tarantula, Razz needing to stand at least eight feet back so he wouldn’t make any unsavory comments about that ugly thing. Just being close to it made his bare arms crawl.

Stars he should have worn a jacket.

“This is it.” Slim nodded with a happy grin. “She’s gorgeous.” The woman loaded it into a cardboard box while Slim watched eagerly. Razz grumbled, tightening his grip on the cart of spider care supplies. He couldn’t believe he had agreed to this, but it was for his brother. He could sacrifice some of his self comfort to make Slim happy. It was the least he could do.

No matter how painful it was.

Soon enough they were seated in his vehicle, driving back to their apartment to get everything set up. Slim sat quietly in the passenger seat. He was holding that nasty spider box in his lap, clearly very excited to take it out but attempting to wait patiently. Razz was grateful for that courtesy if nothing else.

It didn’t take long to arrive back at the apartment. Razz tried to help set up the tank with Slim while the younger went on and on about how and why each thing was done. A thick layer of substrate on the bottom since this species of tarantula was a ground spider, a fake dark log shaped as a hiding den, and a water dish because spiders drank apparently.

“Wait, you mean some tarantulas prefer trees?” Razz blinked. He didn’t realize they had specific preferences like that.

“It depends on the species. The one we bought today is a Mexican red-knee.”

“That’s… interesting.” Razz shuddered. How the hell were there different species of tarantula? To him they were all the same level of gross.

“O-oh! Did you know the females can live up to twenty to thirty years with the right care?”

“And what gender did you get?” Razz gulped.

“A female. You can tell by her overall size, while males have smaller abdomens… are you okay Sans? Your bones are looking a little green.”

“F-fine!” Razz shook himself trying to will the queasiness away. “S-so what’s next? We got the substrate, water bowl, fake plants and the hiding log. Anything else?” 

“Nope. She’s ready for her new home.” Slim turned to the carrying box and carefully opened it, sticking his hand in and coaching the thing onto his fingers. It was big, dark and furry with lighter orangish strips on the joints of its legs. Razz held his breath, watching his brother gently place it in the aquarium. The spider took a brief look at its surroundings, quickly seeing the hiding log and creepily walking inside of it.

“Monika.” Slim nodded to himself.

“Huh?”

“I think Monika is a fitting name for her. What do you think?” He looked to Razz expectantly.

“Oh, it’s nice. A very pretty name for such a hairy… thing.” He was struggling for words to compliment it. The longer he stood by the cage the more grossed out he felt. Slim thankfully seemed to notice, turning towards the door. 

“We should leave her alone to adjust.” He decided. Razz was eager to follow, spotting Lord Hater’s paw reaching under the door crack as if it could turn the knob or something. As soon as they exited Hater was all over him, rubbing up against his legs before doing the same to Slim.

“She’s so weird.” Razz rolled his eyelights.

“Nah, she's just affectionate. Isn’t that right?”

“Mrow!” The dumb cat answered back eagerly. 

“Alright, I’m gonna head out.” Slim scratched the cat’s chin before slipping his shoes on.

“Head out? But we just got here. Where are you going?” Razz questioned feeling his soul race. Slim was supposed to stay the whole weekend. He thought the day had gone well.

“I’m just going to visit Muffet’s for a bit. I haven’t seen her in a while. I’ll be back in a few hours.” He placed his hand on the doorknob. Razz paused trying to think of his next move. Any other time that wouldn’t be too bad, but Slim was only going to stay for a short while longer. He wouldn't risk losing time.

“Wait!” His brother froze and turned, looking at him questioningly. “I-I’ll join you! We can pick up some supplies for dinner afterwards.” 

Slim just stared at him, clearly looking for the right words. “Are you sure? You know that Muffet is a spider, along with all her employees.”

“Don’t insult them! They are spider MONSTERS! There is a distinct difference.” He put as much confidence into that statement as possible. Slim seemed skeptical, but ultimately nodded. 

“Alright, but I was planning on walking there.”

“So you are choosing to exercise? I’m mildly impressed.” Razz turned to the closet and pulled out a long sleeve bomber jack. If he had something protecting his arms he could handle the spiders better. That is how he felt in armor anyway, and the pet store visit in short sleeves left him feeling too exposed in the spider section. 

“That, and it’s only five blocks up the street. Not too bad of a journey.” 

“Very true, but baby steps are never a bad thing.” Razz said, trying to sound wise. Slim just chuckled but didn’t comment further. The two enjoyed the nice weather and sunlight, discussing what they would have for dinner and what supplies they would need to buy for it. They decided on a nice stew, using whatever vegetables that seemed to look good at the market and experimenting with spices.

All too soon they had approached the older brick corner store that had “Muffet’s” on the window sign in curly black lettering with a bright purple background. There were a few cobwebs in the window too, enough to make Razz’s spine shiver. 

He hadn’t been over to see Muffet since they were freed, and his hatred of spiders may have had something to do with that.

The bell above the door chimed upon entry, the two entering a quaint little bakery with grey painted walls and purple and black accenting. The spider in charge was just finishing up with a human customer. As soon as their transaction was done Muffet glanced over to greet the newcomers, only for her face to break out in a wide smile. 

“Papyrus darling!” Muffet rushed out from behind the counter and brought him in for a six-armed hug. “It’s been so long since you’ve visited. Where have you been?” She gave Razz a sidelong glare, seeming to know he was partially responsible for it. 

“L-likewise.” Papyrus hugged back. “I’ve been staying with some friends of mine. They aren’t from around here.”

“Well don’t be a stranger. Come on back and have a seat. I’ll make some coffee and you can tell me all about it.” She had one of her spiderlings take her place at the counter, Razz stuffing his hands in his pockets trying to hide how tense this place made him. Even telling himself that these were really monsters and not ACTUAL spiders, the smaller ones always gave him the creeps. Even when he was Guard Captain, knowing that her spiders could be literally anywhere watching made his soul race.

She led them both to a back room with two purple loveseats and a coffee table. They both took a seat at her prompting, Muffet sliding in next to Slim before Razz could. He sat alone on the other sofa, flinching a bit when a spiderling scurried out from between the cushions. Some of her spiders came out with trays of steaming hot coffee and doughnuts, sliding them onto the table before taking their leave.

“Don’t be shy Papyrus. Tell me all about where you’ve been. Who are these friends you’ve been staying with?”

“I-it’s a long story…” the two chatted with each other while the elder skeleton sat quietly. 

Razz started tuning the words out, his focus moving to his brother's current state. The Slim he remembered compared to the one in front of him was very different. He wasn’t stuttering all the time anymore. Granted they still slipped out occasionally, but the confidence behind his words was a huge juxtaposition. At one time he would have only sat quietly and listened to whatever Muffet had to say, nodding along or giving a few words of input when prompted. Now he was doing thirty percent of the talking, and he genuinely seemed to be enjoying it. 

So this is what he’s been doing in the other dimension. His other self had taught him to be more confident, talkative, and overall happier. He was becoming his own monster.

No.

He was his own monster already, one that Razz had only shaped the negative aspects to. While his brother had been growing into his own and embracing their new world, Razz had been struggling just to stay afloat.

Why did Slim agree to visit again?

“Brother?” Razz jolted a bit at hearing the word. Right, Slim and Muffet had been talking about something. What was it again?

“W-what?” He questioned. The two were both giving him odd looks, his brother leaning more towards worry then weirded out. 

“We can head out if you’d like. I can come visit Muffet later.” The spider monster looked a bit disappointed but didn’t say anything, her lips tight as she assessed him critically. 

He glanced at his hands realizing they were slightly trembling alongside the silent tapping motion of his heel. 

They were pitying him.

Quickly he hid his hands in his pockets and stood up. “No, I just need some fresh air. I’ll be back in a bit.” 

“It’s okay bro.” Slim stood up already prepared to follow. “We’ll head back-“

“I said I’m fine!” Razz shouted, getting a small flinch from his brother.

Shit.

He stepped towards the door not knowing what else to say. What could he say after that?

“I… just text me when you're done.” He left through the back exit. Slim made a move to follow but Muffet stopped him. That was for the best. Razz needed a chance to calm down. His soul was pulsing in a hard, panicked rhythm, and he wasn’t sure if it was from being surrounded by all those spiders or his spiraling dark thought.

Maybe a combination of the two.

He zipped his jacket up trying to hide is head in the collar. He felt so exposed without his armor. That was a feeling that hadn’t gone away with time, and there were so many hateful eyes on him. Some monsters were keeping a wide range of space knowing the horrible things he’d done as Guard Captain. All while humans whispered to themselves about his scars, sharp teeth and overall cold demeanor.

It was suffocating and he needed an out.

At one point he slipped into a small alleyway just to escape the glares. He wasn’t even sure where he was exactly, but he couldn’t continue while feeling this way.

Damn his weakness. 

“In… hold… out… hold… in… hold… out.” He chanted over and over. His soul needed to calm. The stress of the last few days had been getting to him. Even with Lord Hater and Slim being home, he couldn’t stop feeling angry and helpless.

He was trapped in a place where he couldn’t move up in life, or get out of the rut his own mind forced him into. He was tired and… jealous, all while still being proud of his little brother for moving on. Slim didn’t need him anymore. Hell, he hadn’t needed him since he discovered Underfell. 

So why was Razz still trying? 

“What do we have here?” He froze at hearing the snarky tone behind the speaker. He opened his sockets, not having realized a gang of humans had started circling him from all sides. They looked like a bunch of privileged assholes.

“Ya know, monsters aren’t welcome in this part of the City.” One of them sneered.

“You're actually not welcome anywhere.” Another one with shorter hair laughed. “All of you freaks need to go back where you belong.”

Inhale deeply, then exhale. Don’t give into the taunting. It’s exactly what they want.

Razz didn’t respond. He knew a few things he could say that would really piss these humans off more than cursing back, but he hadn’t decided if that was worth it or not. For the moment he waited, like he would have done when dealing with a troublesome group of monsters Underground. His silence was apparently working, the ringleader getting angrier and angrier.

“Hey! I’m talking to you asshole!” A wad of spit hit him square in the forehead, Razz wiping it away with his sleeve feeling fresh rage overtaking his rational thought.

Screw it then.

“Oh I’m sorry.” It came out more like a snarl then his intended sarcasm, but he wasn’t stopping now. “I can’t help but be a little tired today. You see, I spent the entirety of last night doing your mom, and she’s a tough woman to please-“ A solid punch hit him square in the cheek bone, only for the attacker to cry in pain.

The second man rushed forward with something silver glinting in his hand. Sockets widening, Razz was too stunned to dodge. A knife slashed across his chest, HP dropping significantly but he couldn’t register any pain. 

Something about knives.

Something about knives.

A mad smile and the empty eyes of a sadistic human. A similar feeling of shock. It was all a huge dejavu moment and the prospect made his soul race even faster. 

The knife was coming down again, his body finally kicking in without his mind's input. Cold steel slipped through the phalanges on his left hand, gripping the man’s knuckles and pulling him into a hard right hook to the face. 

The thug dropped his knife, bringing both hands up to hold a bloody broken nose. The four others charged in but Razz had already taken a fighting stance. 

It was just like attacking the punching bag.

A fist from the right, dodge to the left. A second from the left, weave right and punch. He ducked another set of blows, delivering a series of hard kicks and punches into the man’s gut.

He staggered back, Razz delivering one last roundhouse kick sending him flying into the street. 

Three of the thugs dove in at the same time, Razz’s eyelight flaring at the prospect. Within a minute they were all either laid out flat on the ground or gripping their injuries.

He never had to use a single magical attack. 

“Listen up human scum!” Razz shouted with the authority he once possessed. “We monsters have been killed off and tortured by your kind for centuries. Now we only wish to live under the sun and you can’t even stand for that?! Though some monsters may be too frightened to fight back, I have no such hang ups! If you wish to cross me again, know that the former Captain of the Royal Guard would be more than happy to put racist bastards like you six feet under! Do I make myself clear?!”

The men on the ground started looking smug all of a sudden. A cocky look that didn’t belong in this situation.

“Ebott Police!” Razz whipped around towards the alley entrance, seeing two police officers with guns pointed directly at him. 

Oh.

“Put your hands in the air and get on the ground!”

“Are you here for them?” He took a step to the side, the guns following him without any hesitation.

“One more step and I’ll shoot! Put your hands in the air!” Slowly it dawned on him that he was the one under arrest.

For the mere act of defending himself, he was being detained.

“These humans attacked me! I was only defending-“ A loud pop and a burning sensation traveled through his rib cage. He was knocked off balance by the force of it, magic faring momentarily in his shock.

That was all the officers needed to see.

In an instant he was tackled to the ground by the shorter one and pistol whipped repeatedly, the other still having his gun pointed directly at him. Holding his arms up he tried to block as many blows to the face as possible, but that only made the cop angry. 

Razz could sense the hatred this human had for his kind, he wasn’t even trying to hide it. Worst of all he couldn’t even fight back against law enforcement, or he’d risk being killed.

He was once again powerless, and the officers showed no sign of stopping their assault.

Heh, perhaps he would have made a good policeman after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That feeling when you’ve western a lot but it somehow feels like not much has happened. Maybe it’s because this chapter feels more disjointed then the others? I’m really not sure.
> 
> For anyone that has read my other works, you’ll probably notice this Slim is more outgoing then how I usually write him. More often then not I write him as a doormat, which didn’t feel like a good dynamic with Razz in this story. 
> 
> Hurray for trying new things lol.
> 
> Leave a comment if you enjoyed! They always make my day.


	4. Hailstorm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razz is bailed out of jail by his brother. The two are in for the worlds hardest car ride in history.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick. 

The only thing breaking the suffocating silence was the loud tick, tick, ticking of an old wall clock. Razz didn’t move, didn’t even have his eyelights lit. He could have easily passed for a tacky Halloween decoration at that moment, but no one was dumb enough to make a comment.

There were two humans in the holding cell with him, both of them seated as far away as possible. That was fine with Razz. Honestly if he saw a fellow skeleton covered in cracks and marrow with a massive cut through their jacket and radiating killing intent, he’d do the same.

He cradled his hand inside his pocket, recently shattered by the short asshole officer that had a problem with him. Hell, the only reason they gave him his clothes back after their ‘strip search’ was because Alphys had clocked in. Now he’d spent the last four hours here without medical treatment. A somewhat sympathetic officer gave him a bandage wrap, which went towards keeping his shattered phalanges together. He needed more though, but the officers on this shift didn’t want to offer any.

Fine by him. He wouldn’t take any more charity from these racist savages. 

He didn’t want Alphys or anymore policemen to see him like this. Really, he didn’t want anyone to see him like this. It was inevitable because someone would ultimately bail him out, but he pushed the idea as far away as possible, along with his fading consciousness.

Stars, his everything hurt. 

“Sans.”

…

“Sans? Sans!” 

“Huh?” The skeleton groggily answered, his hollow sockets looking up at the one asking. Alphys was on the other side of the bars, glaring at him with worry concealed by a cold stare.

“Get up, asshole. Your brother’s here to take you home.”

Oh.

He sucked in a breath and stood up, pretending his whole body wasn’t pulsing in all levels of pain. His eyelights remained out and his sockets trained towards the floor. The shame was too much for him at the moment. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her. She unlocked the door and shut it behind him, hovering close as if some random cop would attack at any second.

“What the hell happened to you?” She half whispered, half growled.

“Well, first it was the racist gang of privileged dirt wad humans.” He motioned to the large diagonal cut across his shirt currently soaked through with dried marrow. “The rest was done by your police friends. Johnson and Kowalski I believe.” Alphys glowered looking more pissed then he’d seen her in ages. 

“Kowalski is a racist prick, even against other humans.”

“Never would have guessed.” The sarcasm was lost to the croak that his voice currently was.

“Seriously, this isn’t supposed to happen. He’ll get fired over this.”

“Fired… let off with paid leave and maybe a change in departments.” He would have laughed if he had the energy. “If Kowalski hasn’t been fired for racism against humans, then they won’t bat an eye over me.”

“That’s not true. There are really good people here.” Alphys frowned, but Razz didn’t bother with an answer this time. He didn’t have anything left to say. She actually sounded like she believed her own words. 

Of all the monsters to show any faith in humans, he didn’t expect it to be Alphys. 

They didn’t say anything else to each other, Alphys unlocking the door to the waiting room where Slim was standing looking antsy. 

His face switched from relieved to pissed in a millisecond. Razz looked towards his feet unable to make eye contact. He’d been beat up and broken before, but just knowing his brother needed to come in and bail him out… it made him feel sick. 

“Sans?” Just hearing his first name come from Slim’s mouth made him flinch. He NEVER called him Sans, and it was just another kick to the ribs on top of his already battered ego.

He couldn’t bring himself to answer.

“You two head home and clean up. I’ll handle things here.” Alphys told them, though it was more directed towards Slim.

“... let’s go bro. I can drive.” It took a few minutes for the statement to sink in. By the time he understood they were already standing in the parking lot next to his trash vehicle. 

He didn’t know Slim could drive now…

Razz didn’t say anything about it. Slipping into the passenger seat and keeping his right hand hidden the whole time, even while putting the seatbelt on. He stared out the window while Slim struggled with the transmission until his car revved to life. They pulled out of the lot, the sun having gone down long ago leaving the sky black and lit with stars. He stared at them as the world below zoomed by, Slim tapping the steering wheel clearly working up the nerve to say something.

…

…

“Sans… what happened?” Slim asked carefully. Razz could feel the simmering anger under his brother's calm demeanor. He wanted to hurt the ones responsible, that much was obvious.

Razz wasn’t going to say much though. He’d take everything that happened during his booking at the police station to his grave. The mistreatment didn’t end at the alleyway. Stars he wished it had ended in the alleyway…

“Bro?” The elder looked up slowly remembering he was in the car. Slim was still talking to him. “What happened to you?” 

…

“.... nothing happened.”

The car screeched to a halt sending anything loose flying forward, and digging the seatbelt into Razz’s abused ribs.

Ow.

“That’s bull and you know it!”

“Drop it Pap-“

“NO!”

It took a moment for Razz to realize his brother's hands were shaking. He glanced up, seeing the glowing magic whipping from Slim’s socket.

“You always do this! E-every time something happens or I want to help! Why won’t you let me!?” 

Razz didn’t have a good answer. How could he answer?

“I’m tired Pap. Please don't do this-“

“No! Y-you can’t keep doing this to me! Do you know how horrible it feels?! Seeing your loved ones suffer and being too dumb or weak to do anything?! Then having to deal with later fallout o-or your bad mood over it! I-I-I can’t keep watching this happen…” He looked over to Razz desperately, the elder’s soul clenching even tighter. “Please let me help this time.”

Razz’s eyelights guttered out again, and he couldn’t stop a sad grin that turned more into a grimace.

He knew the feeling. As hard as it would be for Slim to understand, he knew.

It was too much.

This was all too much.

“Nothing can be done Pap… that’s the thing.” He let out the most pathetic laugh imaginable, but he didn’t have the energy to put more into it.

He didn’t have the energy for much of anything anymore.

“What will you do against a gang of racist humans that I already beat to a pulp? Or the corrupt cops that are even fine showing this kind of abuse to their own kin? It will just start another war between humans and monsters. What do you think would happen if that occurred?”

“I-“

“We’d be forced Underground again, if they didn’t wipe us out entirely.” His smile fell completely, face now blank and sockets staring out the window again. “Face it. We are nothing but weak creatures that tricked ourselves into thinking we had any chance in this world at all. Peace between races? When we are so pathetic that a single human could likely wipe out our entire population single handedly.”

… 

“What happened to you?” Slim finally asked after a moment to let everything sink in. Razz flared with anger as soon as the question was asked.

“I TOLD YOU NOTHING H-“

“No! What happened to you since I left?! Y-you were so confident that we’d thrive up here! Now you’re paranoid a-a-and angry and lifeless all the time!”

“Why do you even care?!”

“You're my brother!”

“You found your perfect family and it’s not here with me!” That made Slim pause. Razz couldn’t stop himself before more slipped out. There was SO much he had been worried about and even unrelated topics started flowing from his mouth. “You know how horrible I am yet we keep beating around the fact! It all started so early on and I couldn’t even see the problem! When I was told you weren’t smart enough to learn reading and writing, did I even try? No! I believed it and called you stupid! I-I thought what I was teaching you would help with your survival, but I was just limiting you this entire time because I was too stubborn to see otherwise! I-it's my fault you suffered, and no matter what I do, I can’t get over myself!” He paused for a moment trying to steady his beating soul. His voice was getting shaky and hands trembling, despite the pain in his broken one. “You’ve grown so much since you left, and all for the better…” 

…

“I-I don’t know why I try anymore…” The last sentence came out more as a croak. He recognized the burning in his sockets as tears threatening to fall, but he willed them back out of pure stubbornness. 

“Sans-“

“Please… Just let it go. I’m too tired for this.” Slim looked like he wanted to argue more but stopped himself, taking his foot off the brake and continuing to drive. The energy in the car was pure tension, the drive feeling like an eternity. Razz was trying to stay awake, Slim didn’t have anything left to say, and he was positive the younger would head back to the Fellverse after dropping him off at his place.

He had this one weekend to make things better, and he failed.

The two pulled into that familiar parking lot, getting out of the vehicle and slowly walking to the building. Slim was the only one paying even the slightest bit of attention to their surroundings. Razz was too lost in his own head to contribute, focusing solely on getting up the stairs and into the shit-hole he called a living room. Lord Hater was eager to greet him, but Razz didn’t bother with hellos. Storming to the bathroom he slammed the door behind him and turned the shower on, letting the water heat up to steaming levels. 

Peeling his clothes off they were flung into a corner to be trashed later, all of his focus on trying to get rid of this dirty feeling griming up his whole body.

He knew the feeling of shame, but never had it been so strong.

The water burned his slash wound, the splintered section of ribs from that dumb bullet, and any other cracks, scrapes and bruises the humans left him with. It was painful, like the humiliation he suffered. No matter how much red ran down the shower drain he couldn’t feel clean. Soap wasn’t helping, and turning the water to scalding temperatures didn’t do it either. Soon the entire bathroom was white with steam, making it difficult to see the purple droplets mixing with the marrow and water. At one point his tears had finally started falling, and his bones were rattling together from all the built up stress and fear. Collapsing on his pelvis he couldn’t help but curl up no longer caring about putting on a brave face.

There wasn’t a point anymore.

“Dammit!” His fist collided hard enough with the linoleum to make it crack. Just like his soul.

Pathetic.

Broken.

Shameful.

Weak.

Just like his soul.

Just like his mind. 

His soul pulsed faster and faster and more erratically like it would burst out of his chest. It felt like he was about to be ambushed but he knew he wasn’t in actual danger anymore, but his soul felt that way and it amplified the fear to unbearable levels.

All he could do was stay in the fetal position and silently cry until the panic had passed and his soul calmed.

It would be a few hours.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

His face was as clean of tears as it was going to get. Crawling out of the shower he finally started the arduous task of bandaging the injuries riddling his whole upper body. Even with the tears gone from sight, the cracks and scrapes to his skull were a different matter. Those were always on display, so he had to rely on bandages and wraps to cover the worst areas, at least until they stopped bleeding, or he could get his hands on real monster food.

The shower had washed off a lot of marrow and even some of his crumbling bones away, leaving his injury areas looking weathered, like he was a human corpse exposed to the harsh elements for a year. The huge crumbling slash from the top of his left shoulder to the bottom of his Right floating rib completely was left exposed and tender, still welling up with marrow and magic. He did the best wrapping job he could, going in between his ribs to save on bandages and thicken the wrap. 

The bullet wound was harder to fix, given that half of it affected the back half of his third rib right next to his scapula. A lucky miss, but that didn’t make breaking off the sections too mangled to realign any easier.

The gouges and breaks on his arms were easy enough to bandage, but that left the worst injury for last. He hadn’t realized how fragmented many of his finger bones were, something that would clearly take way longer to heal even with magic, if anyone felt like offering any that is. Having to feel every little bit be slid back into place and bandaged together, all while keeping up his nerve so he wouldn’t have to call someone to finish the job. 

Who would even help him? He was positive Slim had already left a while ago, so that didn’t leave many options. He didn’t trust Undyne, and calling on the King or Queen just might be the final straw that sends him falling down. He supposed he could call one of the Taleverse skeletons, but he barely spoke to any of them to begin with. Other than their initial meeting he preferred acting like they didn’t exist, and he was positive they wouldn’t actually assist. They were better friends with the Fell brothers, and they had made up their minds on Razz a long time ago. 

Finally he ran out of wounds to treat, knowing he’d need to go to his room and dig around for loose fitted clothing. At the very least some pants. Maybe he could get away without a shirt, seeing as his brother had most likely left.

Pulling the bathroom door open he was surprised to see Lord Hater curled up on a folded pile of clean clothing. Razz was at a loss. The only reason this would be here is if Slim had left it out for him. The living room was quiet though. Perhaps a final kind gesture before heading to the other Fellverse permanently? Either way he pushed the cat off of them and pulled them back into the bathroom. On the bottom was a pair of baggy sweatpants that he barely used, and above that was a purple hoodie his brother had gifted him years ago, one he never wore because of their fight.

Razz got dressed before his mind left him frozen in place for another half hour. He was surprised by how soft the hoodie was. Though it made him look far more like his lazy alternates than he cared for, it was a zip up for easy, less painful removal and it covered his bandages up nicely.

Stepping out of the bathroom again he was immediately hit with the smell of burnt popcorn and the sound of his television. How long had he been in there? And who the hell made themselves comfortable in his home?

Mild curiosity winning out over exhaustion, he shuffled into the living area, seeing Slim dumping some popcorn into two beat up pots since he didn’t own a big enough bowl.

“What are you doing?” He finally asked. Slim looked over with a kind smile. The kindest he’d seen in years.

“W-well, we haven’t had a movie night in ages. I thought it would be fun?” He said it more as a hopeful question, Razz looking to the ground thoughtfully.

“We haven’t had one since before the human fell.” He mused. Hell, it was even before that freak encounter with their alternates, but he really didn’t want to mention them.

“I ran out and grabbed a few films for us… I-I got your favorite genre.”

“Offensive dumb humor?” Slim nodded at his question.

“We haven’t seen these ones either. Wanna pick the first?” He grabbed the rented DVDs from the counter and handed them over. Razz flipped through the selection. Blades of Glory, Balls of Fury, The Ringer and Tropic Thunder. He looked between Slim and the movies, too confused to form a proper question.

He didn’t understand.

And he didn’t want to ruin this.

“We can start with this one. If that’s okay with you?” He held up Tropic Thunder, Slim nodding and moving over to put the movie in. Razz slowly stepped around the couch, where the popcorn and fresh tea were laid out on the coffee table, and a pile of blankets and pillows stacked on the couch with Lord Hater sprawled on top of them.

“I’ll start it when you're settled.” Slim announced when he got the player working. Razz looked to him then back at the sofa, slowly shuffling over and adjusting everything to his satisfaction. He didn’t own this many pillows or blankets, so their origin was a bit of a mystery. He didn’t own a DVD player either.

Wrapping one of the thicker blankets over his shoulders the smell was an immediate give away.

Muffet.

“You ready?” His brother questioned having gotten comfortable already.

“Y-yeah.” Was the only answer he could manage. Slim went ahead and pressed play. The film kicked off with increasingly stupid fake movie trailers. He couldn’t help but snicker when they got to the gay monk trailer, and the movie only continued to get weirder from there. Jesus they turned the monk character into a black guy and it was too stupid!

“Pffft!” He couldn’t help but laugh. “How was this okayed to release? I could see the internet having a field day over this.”

“Came out in the early 2000’s. A d-different time back then.”

“Like the creation of Blazing Saddles I suppose.” The two grinned towards each other and went back to the film. These idiots were brought together for filming a movie about Vietnam but they wound up completely separated from the filming crew. Of course the characters didn’t realize that.

“Oh god this part is painful.” Razz croaked when two of the actors got into a back and forth conversation on how best to play a special needs character.

“The six previews of the Armageddon films were worse.” Slim bantered. 

“No! THAT was excellent commentary on how sequels turn into cash grabs with no substance and recycling the same plot line. This film has a surprising amount of that-“

‘Don’t EVER go full retard!’ 

They both had to stop as soon as the line was said, watching the rest of the speech before both busting out in uncontrolled laughter.

“W-w-what *wheeze* was that?!” Slim barely managed to get out.

“Holy Shit!” Razz cackled and winced all at the same time. It hurt his breaks to do so but he couldn’t stop himself. It was too rich. Soon his laughter devolved into a hard coughing fit from the pain, and Slim instantly turned worried.

“You alright?” He questioned. Razz just looked up with a mischievous smirk. 

“Took a whole lotta tryin' just to get up that hill.” He coughed twice more but straightened up to continue. “Now we're up in the big leagues, gettin' our turn at bat. As long as we live, it's you and me, baby…”

“That's the theme song to The Jeffersons.” Slim said in a goofy accent knowing exactly where this was going. “Man, you really need help.”

Razz finished bringing his voice down another octave. “Just because it's a theme song don't mean it's not true.” 

The two busted out in even harder laughter. Razz could even feel fresh tears forming, only this time they came from laughing so hard.

“Meow!” Lord Hater decided it was time to join in.

“Well if you want a spot there’s plenty of room.” He scooped the dumb thing off the floor and placed it on his lap, the cat being sure to rub as much hair as possible all over his hoodie. 

“She really likes you.” Slim commented.

“She’ll like anyone that gives her a scrap of food. Just like someone else I know.” He looked to Slim accusingly.

“W-what?”

“You know.”

“I do not.” He crossed his arms with a stupid knowing smirk. 

“Whatever.” Razz rolled his eyelights, giving into exhaustion and laying on his side in the least painful position he could find. The pillow from Muffet’s was cool and soft, smelling vaguely of sweets. Lord Hater curled up between his arms while Slim watched silently at the other end of the couch. “You see something you like or what?”

“You look almost…” 

“Don’t you dare say-“

“Cute.” His teeth curled into the biggest shit eating grin.

“... I swear to Toriel if this wasn’t so comfy I’d smack you.”

“Course you would bro. Never doubted you for a second.”

“Shitty brothers and their shitty comments…” Razz mumbled using blue magic to float a mug of tea over and taking a long, satisfying sip.

Stars that tasted good.

“So… how do you like movie night so far.”

“It’s… acceptable.” Razz admitted trying to stiffly a yawn, his head sinking back into the pillow with satisfying ease. 

“Heh. T-that’s a high compliment coming from you.” 

“Don’t push your luck.” Razz smirked trying to fight the drowsiness that had been slowly settling like a thick fog. It was weird actually drifting into sleep. It usually took forever for his mind to shut down and get a semblance of rest. Within a few minutes Though, he was out cold.

Slim stayed with him the whole night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohh, they getting into some deep mental wounds none of them want to talk about. The question is, what will Slim do having never heard his brother speak so openly?
> 
> Leave a comment if you enjoyed! The feedback fuels me to continue lol.


	5. Cloudy with a Chance of Showers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razz wakes up to a few surprise visitors, the two having very important information to share. A choice needs to be made, and Razz is stuck struggling with the potential consequences.

First there were voices, soft and distant as if figments of his imagination. Then there was smell, of a home cooked meal that he hadn’t been able to indulge in for so, so long. Finally sensation started returning to his limbs. Some areas radiated a dull ache, while others felt warm and numb. He didn’t quite understand the feeling, but it was too nice to pull away from.

“... do it.”

“That’s his decision to make. Not yours.”

“B-but they need to pay for this!”

Strange. That last one sounded like his brother, but the more feminine voice…

“T-Toriel?” He croaked, opening one socket then the other. Above him a massive blurry horned figure slowly started to take shape, clearing up to display a blonde beard and moustache combo sat below a tired set of dark eyes.

“K-King Asgore?!” Razz shot upright only to realize the older monster was holding his broken hand, currently flooding it with green magic. There were a lot of things he suddenly noticed, like his lack of pain. Overall he felt a lot better compared to the previous day. That only brought up more concerning questions. First of all, how the hell did he sleep through Asgore healing him this much?!

“Good to see you awake Sans.” The goat monster greeted. 

“W-what are you doing here?” He swore if Slim called the royals out for something this stupid he’d throttle the bastard.

“My wife and I stopped by to speak with you about yesterday, but I fear you were still asleep. I hope you don’t mind me healing you some. Those wounds looked nasty.” Razz blinked, realizing the sun was already shining through his living room window.

“Wait… asleep?” He checked his phone, eyelights guttering a bit at the time. Two in the afternoon. He had been asleep for twelve hours?!

“Shit! I’m late!” Razz hoped over the back of the sofa heading for his room barely noticing the two monsters in his kitchen. He needed to grab his work uniform and bolt.

Shit shit shit SHIT SHITTTT!

He’d have to call his boss on the way there and beg for forgiveness. Hopefully he wouldn’t be fired over this.

Losing this job was not an option.

Hurriedly changing he didn’t bother putting his boots on, deciding he could stuff his feet into them when he got there.

“Hold on Sans!” Slim blocked the doorway before he could leave.

“I need to get the work, now move!” 

“Y-you don’t need to go back there ever again.”

“I need to get paid asshole, now get out of the way!” He moved to shove Slim over, only for a large fuzzy hand to grab his arm and pull him away. 

“What is this? Release me!” Razz growled, feeling his metaphorical stomach starting to drop. This couldn’t be good.

“Y-your boss called earlier.” Slim stammered nervously. “H-he heard about you being arrested yesterday… and with you not coming in he-“ 

“I’ve been fired?” Razz could feel his eyelights going out, his hands starting to tremble too. All of a sudden he was feeling very weak in the knees.

“Y-yeah… he said not to bother coming…” Slim rubbed his upper arm clearly uncomfortable. Meanwhile all Razz could do was pick a spot on the floor and stare at it.

This was a joke.

These bastards had to be pulling a sick prank.

Shakily he grabbed his phone and checked the call history. Three separate calls from his boss were missed that morning, and one that was answered around ten o’clock. Most likely by his brother.

He really was fired.

“B-bro?” Razz blinked at the question, realizing he was now sitting at the kitchen table. When did he get here?

“Sans.” The feminine voice spoke again. He nearly fell out of his seat at that one, realizing Toriel was the third monster in his apartment.

“Q-queen Toriel?! When did you get here?!!!!”

“I’ve been here the whole time Sans.” 

Oh.

Oh shit.

“M-my Queen! I am sorry you had to see me like this! Please disregard this weakness in my character!” He bowed his head low expecting to be chewed out or thrown against the wall. Instead she took a seat at the other end of the table, Slim taking a partially eaten plate of food away from Toriel’s spot and setting it on the counter. Meanwhile Asgore refilled a mug of tea for Toriel and handed one to Sans. He hadn’t even realized they made it to begin with.

Asgore ushered the younger skeleton to the couch so the two could have a small amount of privacy. Toriel took out a few folders and a notebook, setting them to the side and intertwining her fingers.

“Before we start Sans, I want you to know that I am not ordering you to do anything. Whatever you wish to do is your choice and your choice alone. You are not obligated to select one option over the other.” That didn’t sound good at all. What the hell could be this serious?

“I understand.” He answered trying to hide his hesitation. Toriel continued, making sure her words were stated slowly and carefully.

“I am here to discuss the attack you were subjected to yesterday.” Wait, the thing with the gang of weaklings?

“There shouldn’t be anything to discuss. After they attacked me I defended myself. That was all there was to it.”

“Not the gang attack. I am referring to the police using unnecessary force and abuse of power.”

Oh.

“What about it?” He crossed his arms, instantly feeling a pang of discomfort at their mention.

“You are not the first monster to suffer from police brutality since we’ve come to the surface.” She passed him one of the binders, which he flipped through quickly. Within the last two years, they had a collection of forty-nine different instances of police abusing their power against monsters. Half of the reports were verbal, while the others had either photographic or video evidence to corroborate their claims. “The alleyway you were attacked in was connected to a restaurant that happened to have security cameras surrounding the premises. Everything was caught on camera. The gang assault, you beating them in self defence, and the attack by those police officers.”

“And what is your point?” He narrowed his sockets. He had a feeling he knew where this was going, but he really hoped he was wrong.

“We are opening a joint lawsuit against the Ebbot City Police, and these are all of the monsters that have agreed to join the suite. Your attack has some of the best video evidence so far.”

“So you want to know if you can use it?” 

“No, we can only use it as evidence if you join us in the lawsuit.” She paused for a moment letting him process everything so far. “Sans, would you be willing to join the joint lawsuit with us?” 

“... and what will I have to do exactly?” 

“You will need to appear in court with the other victims, and be willing to testify if called to the stand for questioning. We will also need you to fully detail your side of events-“

“No.” He said firmly. One of the words she spoke already made the decision for him. It was a word he refused to associate with.

He would never be one even if it killed him.

“Wait! what do you mean-“ Slim shouted, but Asgore pulled him back into sitting. Toriel made sure he would stay quiet before continuing.

“You understand that if you refuse to participate we will be unable to use the footage or anything else associated with you in the lawsuit?”

“I know, and I do not wish to take any part in this. Good luck in suing the police department.”

“I had a feeling you would say that.” The goat monster packed up her binders and notebook knowing she wouldn’t get any further. “I thank you for listening.” 

He didn’t have a response for that, looking off to the glass casserole dish sitting by the stove. It smelled good.

“B-bro, you can’t do this!” Slim stood back up still ready to argue. “T-those humans deserve to suffer-“

“Toriel said that I wasn’t being ordered to participate, and the choice to do so is my own. I choose to have no part in it.” Slim was clearly angry with that statement, shoving his hands in his pockets trying to hide the fists that were forming. Toriel just watched the two carefully, her eyes focusing on the elder skeleton. 

“I would like to speak with Sans privately. Could the two of you step outside?” 

“B-but-“ Slim was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Come my friend. I have some things I’d like to talk to you about as well.” Asgore ushered him towards the door, Slim looking back worriedly but ultimately giving in.

After bumping his horns several times on the doorframe Asgore managed to exit, leaving Razz and Toriel alone at the kitchen table. She stared him down critically, Razz having to look at the wood patterning on the table. He couldn’t bring himself to gaze upon her, knowing how much of a failure he was. 

Getting arrested and then fired the very next day? How pathetic.

Toriel finally shut her eyes gently and sighed, Razz tensing up for the verbal beating he was about to receive.

“I must apologize.”

“... come again?” Razz blinked. He’s never been in a disciplinary session that started off with an apology. 

“I said I apologize.” She reiterated. “After coming to the surface, I gave up my official title of Queen. However, I’ve neglected to safeguard the well-being of my people, including those that worked closest under me.”

“I-I don’t think I follow.” Razz murmured. She looked him in the sockets, her stern eyes turning sympathetic for a moment.

“You're falling down Sans.” That made Razz freeze. He narrowed his sockets at her, but Toriel wasn’t deterred. “You thought I wouldn’t notice the discrepancy in your total HP? Five hundred points is a large drop.”

“I… you must be mistaken. I am perfectly capable and healthy.” He straightened up trying to reassure her.

“I just witnessed your total HP fall forty points when you heard the news about your employment status.” She pinched the bridge of her snout and sighed. “Tell me, how long do you typically sleep during the night?”

“About… eight hours?” Razz had to think about it. He’s been more and more tired recently, and had to adjust his sleep schedule to compensate.

“I had spoken to Papyrus about the same subject. He said you typically only slept four hours at a time back in the Underground, only exceeding that if you were critically injured.” She took a sip of tea before continuing. “Your wounds weren’t life threatening, and if what you said is true then you are farther along than I thought.” 

Razz looked to his hands, unwrapping the bandaged one a bit and comparing them. His right hand still had visible hairline fractures, but it also had weathered gouged areas where the worst breaks were. Huh, he supposed that would explain why his bones looked so beat up and aged after his shower the previous night. The injury areas were literally crumbling away under the water pressure. 

“... does Papyrus know?”

“I don’t believe so. He is worried but doesn’t seem to know what’s wrong.”

“Good. Let’s keep it that way.”

“That seems to be an incredibly foolish decision.” Toriel raised a brow. “He’ll be more devastated if you fall without warning. He deserves time to prepare himself.”

“No, it will be better for everyone this way.” Razz chuckled with no real humor behind it. “He’s already found his true family, and I’m not a part of it. He was just visiting me for the weekend.”

… 

“When did he move out?”

“It’s been… almost two years.” He confessed. Razz couldn’t lie to his monarch, especially if she had already talked to Slim about this.

“You’ve been suffering on your own for two years?”

“I wasn’t… I…” His words failed him. In truth he had suffered greatly since Slim left. He didn’t have any friends except for Alphys, and she was usually too busy with work or her girlfriend to hang out or talk to. He babysat Chara a few times, but Asgore and Toriel had been so busy planning their second wedding that they barely said more than a few sentences to each other. And he couldn’t burden the kid with his worries. They were far too fragile for that.

In truth, he’s been shouldering all of his guilt, worry and fears for so long he’d forgotten how to share them, but at least he had Slim around, a monster that could understand. Without him everything had been getting harder and harder to carry, and his body was literally crumbling under the weight of it all.

A set of strong fuzzy arms grabbed him gently. Razz flinched not even noticing the queen had moved to be only inches from him. She was kneeling down and watching him sympathetically.

“I truly am sorry.” 

“Y-your majesty. Please-“ his torso was very carefully pulled into her bosom, the hug awkward and unsure but having more meaning behind it then Razz could process at the moment. Instead his sockets betrayed him, starting to leak orchid colored tears no matter how hard his will fought back.

It was all too much.

“T-thank you Tor…my Queen.” He corrected at the last second, being sure to wipe the wetness from his face before she noticed. 

“You shouldn’t thank me for anything. I’ve let my former Guard Captain deteriorate to the point of falling down, and I was none the wiser this whole time. Truely, a very pathetic thing for a monarch to do.”

“N-no! You're the greatest, strongest queen anyone could ask for! Even in the worst times you managed to maintain control of the Underground and keep it from falling into chaos!”

“Perhaps I chose my words poorly.” She said thoughtly. “I am a very pathetic… friend.” 

“F-friend?”

Both of them stopped at hearing a scraping noise. Lord Hater was stalking the fork on Slim’s dirty plate which was left unattended on the counter. She already managed to lick the leftovers off of it, and was currently celebrating her meal by dominating the metal abomination that dared to challenge her.

“... I didn’t feed her yet.” Razz grumbled, remembering what a vaccum that stupid thing was. Toriel could only chuckle.

“I am glad you found a companion that treats you well.”

“She doesn’t have much choice. I’ll kick her out otherwise.” He laughed dryly. She simply hummed, watching Lord Hater knock the fork off the counter.

“Perhaps it’s not too late after all.” She stood up and grabbed her purse, pulling out her phone and opening the calendar app. “I need someone to watch Chara tomorrow. Would you mind keeping an eye on them?”

“Of course my Queen. Whatever you need.”

“Please call me Toriel from now on. There is no need for such formality among friends, correct?”

“Right. My apologies your Gr- I mean Toriel.” Stars that felt so wrong to say. 

“I shall see you tomorrow then. You may wish to clean up before Papyrus makes it back though.”

“Right. I’ll get to work on that.” She smiled and stepped out of the apartment, Razz hurrying to the bathroom to rinse his face off. The water was cool and felt nice against his recently healed bones.

As healed as they were going to get anyway.

He breathed deeply, looking into the bathroom mirror and performing a stat check.

Sans the Skeleton  
LV: 13  
HP: 940/1160  
AT: 30  
DF: 20  
*Not as okay as he lets on.

He had to run a second check, then a third. Hell, maybe he had something stuck in his eye socket obscuring the numbers. True, it had been a while since he checked his HP, but still. When they were freed from the underground his HP sat solidly at one thousand seven hundred fifty.

Within a two year time span his HP had dropped this drastically. No wonder he was so tired all the time. His body wasn’t handling the drastic changes in his soul and mind.

That left him with one last question though.

Why did he lose this much HoPe?

Was everything really so bad to warrant this? A year or two ago he would have declared this to be nothing and worked to bring it up again.

For some reason, however, knowing he was falling down was a relief in some odd way. There was now an end in sight, rather than constantly floundering in seemingly endless guilt and torment with a future he could no longer see. 

Should he do something to try stopping it?

Though their Feverse had developed a few methods to “prevent” monsters from falling, that would require subjecting himself to whatever the hell Doctor Undyne cooked up. He hated laboratories already, and the thought of becoming a lab rat for the second time in his life was even less appealing than death.

Slim would force him to seek treatment though, as long as their standing with each other remained at its current level. If there was one thing he wanted to do before falling, it was make things better with his brother. He’d still die with regrets, but that would be one less weight on his shoulders.

And hopefully by the time Slim actually thought to check his stats, it would be too late.

Before heading to the living room he was sure to tear his uniform to shreds and change back into the hoodie. He had to say, destroying that dumb delivery uniform was cathartic in some way, and he had no intention of stopping by that place to return anything to them. If they asked, he’d just send a photo of his middle finger. 

Finally he went back to the kitchen, hearing the TV was now playing. His brother was sitting tensely on the couch, not even trying to hide his irritation. Razz didn’t ask about it, filling up Lord Hater’s food bowl and heading to the stove. That casserole Toriel had made was sounding really good right about now. 

Slim continued to stare at the television tensely all while Razz created his own plate and heated it up in the microwave. He had actually managed to eat a few bites before Slim growled with impatience.

“What was that?”

“What?” Razz asked, taking another bite of casserole. It was some sort of devine cheese blend with a variety of veggies mixed in. He’d have to ask for the recipe.

“Why won’t you join the lawsuit?” His voice was cold, clearly trying to keep his anger over the whole situation in check. “W-we could have gotten payback against those dirty humans.”

Razz breathed, setting his fork down. “Look. I just want to leave yesterday in the past-“

“They nearly killed you!”

“It will take more than a dumb beating to take me down. I thought you had more faith in me.”

“It’s not about faith! I-it’s about what those savages have done to our people, a-and what they did to you too!”

“Shit happens! I’m not going to put my life on hold for some stupid trial!”

“What about future monsters? Who will get hurt next!” 

“That doesn’t concern me anymore! I am no longer Guard Captain!”

“B-but you WERE! D-don’t you want to help the monsters that you’ve protected for YEARS?! Your a victim too-“

“I am NOT a victim of anything!” Razz’s socket flared at the mere thought. Monsters like him were NEVER victims. He’d die before being called one no matter the circumstances.

“Maybe you're right! I’ll call you a COWARD instead!”

I’m not a coward either!”

“Y-you are! Otherwise you’d help without second guessing!”

“Maybe I just don’t like facing my failures every time I wake up in the morning! I CAN’T be a victim!” He breathed heavily, Slim’s socket also glowing in anger. Finally he stomped out the front door slamming it shut behind him. Razz glowered but turned back to his food. Not even caring that Lord Hater was eating off his plate.

Screw that bastard then. If he came back so be it. If not… he’d figure that out when he wasn’t so livid.

XxxxxxxxxxX

“So… I heard mom say something yesterday…” 

“What?” Razz questioned only half paying attention. It was eleven in the morning, Chara sitting on the floor playing with the cat while Razz sat on the sofa scrolling through job listings with his beat up laptop. Even if he was falling down, he had no clue how long it would be until he went comatose. If it had been a gradual process since coming to the surface, then he could have anywhere from three to five years left.

He still needed a place to live in that time frame.

“She said you were sick?” They twiddled their fingers together looking worried. Razz put his computer down and stared at them directly.

“And she told you all of this?”

“Well… it's more like I overheard her talking with dad.” They smiled innocently as if that would make any of this better. Razz just rolled his eyelights and went back to searching.

“It is nothing serious. You shouldn’t concern yourself.” Chara didn’t seem convinced, but Razz was done with the subject. They went back to playing with a string toy keeping the cat occupied.

“I thought Papyrus was visiting.” 

“He is, or… was. He left yesterday and hasn’t come back.”

“Are you two still fighting?”

“You like to ask a lot of inappropriate questions, don’t you?” He deadpanned. 

“You’re ignoring me, and I’m bored.” Chara shrugged despite Lord Hater wrestling the toy from their hand. 

“You have the cat. Play with her.”

“But I’ve been playing with her for hours!” They pouted. Razz shook his head in annoyance. Despite the millions of other things they could be doing, the human just HAD to distract him. 

“If you really want something to do, help me look for jobs to apply for.”

“Can do!” They pulled their phone out and began typing.It only took them a few minutes to find the local yellow papers. “Here’s one for a construction service.”

“I applied this morning.”

“What about this one for a museum curator?”

“Also applied, though I’m pretty sure I’m not qualified.”

“They haven’t called you back yet?” Chara blinked.

“It can take days, and it’s not a guarantee they’ll even contact me. It took me months to get that delivery job.” It doesn’t help that sixty percent of businesses will throw his application out simply because he’s a monster. “Sans the Skeleton” was a dead giveaway, so he started using Serif as a last name instead. At least his number of interviews improved after that.

“Hey! There’s a secretary position at the police station-“

“Next!”

“But then you can work with Alphys-“

“Human! You may not know, but I have a bone to pick with that place. I’m not putting my application anywhere near it.” Chara seemed to understand what he was talking about now, which irritated him even more. So either Toriel told them or they’ve been doing more eavesdropping. Most likely the latter.

They went back to scrolling, eyes lighting up ten minutes later. Chara rushed over with their phone in hand, pointing excitedly at their discovery.

“Part-time firefighter?” He raised a brow bone.

“Yeah! I don’t think any monsters have tried applying there yet, and I bet you’d be really good at it!”

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re really fast to jump into action, with plenty of experience in life and death situations! Only this time instead of using your powers to enforce law, you’d be saving people.”

“I don’t know…” Razz tried to think of a counter argument but he was coming up blank. It was part-time, which was the whole reason he initially skipped over it. He needed a job and he needed one soon though, and based on the number of applications he submitted, one more for this type of thing honestly wouldn’t hurt. “Very well Human. The Maleficent Sans shall apply for this part-time position at your request.”

“Sooo… if you get the job can you take me for rides in the fire truck?”

“Seriously human, don’t push your luck.” Razz deadpanned. Chara shrugged and went back to playing with Lord Hater. 

Even as he edited his resume for the newly found position, he couldn’t help but shake his head at the absurdity. A firefighter? Him? The idea never crossed his mind. Yet here he was clicking send on the application, his thirty-second one of the day.

“Why’d you name her Lord Hater anyway?”

“Why does everyone keep asking that?!”

“Because it’s funny!” The kid laughed and nuzzled against the cat’s face. He supposed he could explain.

“First off, the Lord section of her name refers to the fact she will dominate and rule over every other cat in Ebbot City! Every feline will bow before her terror and might!”

“And the Hater part?”

“Because she will strike fear in the hearts of my enemies.” Chara fell into a giggle fit at that, Razz confused by her reaction.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“This cat is the sweetest thing on Earth. I don’t think she could hurt a fly even if she wanted to.”

“Meow!” Lord Hater purred back and rubbed against their hand lovingly.

“That’s because she hasn’t been trained properly!” Razz took the cat and placed her on the coffee table, giving her a stern glare.

“Now, the time of all this cute cuddly behavior has come to an end. If you wish to continue living here, you MUST toughen up! Now show me the scariest face you can make!”

“Meow!” Hater answered back.

“No! Sneer your lips and growl! Like this!” Razz demonstrated, getting extra close so Hater could see. 

“Meow!” She licked his nasal passage, sending Razz coreaning backworss with an undignified yelp.

“BWAHAHAHAH! What was that?!” Chara barked unable to control her laughter.

“So it’s a surprise attack…” Razz scratched his mandible thoughtfully. “A clever attempt, but it will not help you for long! Now give me you best scary face!”

“Meow!”

“Why must you be so difficult?!” Razz crosses his arms and sat with a huff, trying to think up a new strategy. Clearly yelling at it wasn’t working, so how else could he get his point across?

The lock at the door jiggled from a key, Slim stepping inside much to Chara’s delight.

“Puppy!” The child rushed over and wrapped Slim in a tight hug.

“G-good to see you too Chara.” Slim gave a pure, genuine smile at their presence, though he ignored Razz entirely. “Have you met my new pet yet? Her name is Monika.”

“You got a pet too!?” He nodded earning an even bigger smile.

“Come with me and I’ll show you.” Chara rushed after Slim like it was Gyftmas morning or something. Within a few seconds the two were gone, leaving Razz and Lord Hater alone in the living room. The stupid cat was staring at him knowingly.

It was judging him over something. He knew it was.

Probably over the thing that had been bugging him since yesterday. The thing Toriel asked him to participate in. The thing Slim was upset over.

“Stars dammit.” He flopped back onto the couch, staring at one of the water stains on the ceiling. He wasn’t sure what he should do anymore. At first he didn’t want anything to do with it, but now Slim was mad and he recently learned his condition was terminal.

So what should he do?

“Meow!” Lord Hater leapt onto the sofa by his face and proceeded to lick his skull, as if that would make the decision easier or something.

“Hey cat… if I weren’t the Maleficent Sans, would that bother you?” Wait, that didn’t sound right. “I… I-I mean, if I were just… regular Sans, v-victim of racism and police brutality… would you want to live elsewhere. I won’t blame you if that’s so. I know it’s a hard thing to come to terms with.” He waited to see what Lord Hater would do, only for her tongue to travel from his forehead to the rim of his eye socket.

“That’s too close to that!” He grabbed her up and held her at arms length, her entire body becoming long and limp in his hands. “P-please, this is hard enough already… I really need to know…”

“Mrow!” Lord Hater announced happily, whatever the heck it meant by that. 

“Is that a yes or no?”

“Meow!” He decided to set her down, the thing climbing up on his shoulder trying to get better licking access to his face.

“I guess you don’t care either way.”

“Meow!”

“Vocal little rat…” he scratched behind her ear and sighed, pulling up Toriel’s number on his phone and hovering over the call button.

It would make his brother happy, and he didn’t have much time to do that anymore. Even if the trial just about killed him, he just wanted to fix things with his brother, his health and ego be damned.

Stars give him strength.

Clicking the call button he brought the thing up to his skull and waited, the goat monster picking up on the third ring.

“T-Toriel? This is Sans… no, nothing is wrong with Chara… I just-“ He paused and took in a deep breath trying to mentally prepare himself. “D-do you mind if I ask you a few more questions about the… lawsuit?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that this is not meant to be an anti-police statement in this story or anything. Racism exist, and when racist are given that kind of power horrible things can happen as history has shown.
> 
> Not sure if anyone saw this coming, but some legal stuff is about to go down! Hopefully Razz was being metephorical about the trial killing him... yeah. The question now is, will Toriel even let him join it given his current health?
> 
> I swear this story gets happier eventually!
> 
> Comment if you enjoyed! Your feedback gives me fuel to continue.


	6. Wind City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razz has a job interview, and he’s struggling to mentally prepare himself. Hopefully he can make a good first impression.
> 
> Slim also wants to talk about a subject Razz would rather avoid. Forever.

“Calm down Sans. This is okay. Nothing bad is going to happen.” He told himself over and over until he convinced himself that he almost believed it.

It was time.

Stepping out of the car he straightened his blazer and approached the brick building. It looked nice on the outside, having been remodeled around five years prior. There were a few humans in shorts and T-shirts washing the trucks with scrub brushes to keep them pristine and new looking. They gave him the odd glance but for the most part stayed quiet, letting him enter the building without giving him any trouble. He entered a small white-walled lobby with five chairs and a single receptionist. It was empty otherwise.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” Razz asked. “This is where the interviews for the firefighter job are taking place, correct?” The woman looked up at him, nearly dropping her pen.

“Y-yes. I’ll let the chief know you're here.” She stood up and walked over to a door with ‘Frank Reynolds Firehouse Captain’ on a black placard next to it. Razz stood a bit awkwardly, unsure if he should take a seat or not. Thankfully the woman returned within a few seconds. “The chief will see you now.”

“Thanks…” 

Taking a deep breath that he didn’t actually need, Razz stepped into the interview that could make or break everything. Two men in navy button-up shirts were seated at the desk. One of them was an older man with gray hair, looking to be in his late fifties with small spectacles in front of narrow eyes. The other looked to be in his early thirties with darker skin and black short cut hair. The elder spoke up first.

“And you must be Mr. Serif?” He looked up from his paperwork, eyes going a bit wide at seeing Sanses lack of skin. Joel seemed more excited.

“Woah.” He exclaimed, but quickly cleared his throat trying to hide it as a weird cough.

“Yes. My name is Sans Serif. It is nice to meet you.” He said in greeting. 

“Come on in and have a seat.” The older one beckoned. Sans sat in the cushioned chair as instructed. “My name is Frank, Fire Chief of this Department, this is my Assistant Chief Joel.”

“Sup’ man.” He smiled, far too casual for someone doing any kind of interview. 

“So Mr. Serif. Could you tell us why you want to become a fireman?”

Should he answer honestly? He really signed up just because he needed the money and Chara asked, but he didn’t think that would convince them to hire. Time to put his Guard Captain skills of bullshitting speeches to use. 

“As you can see from my resume, I was Captain of the Royal Guard back in the Underground. It was not an easy job, having to ration out food and supplies to every town due to overcrowding with constant shortages, and trying to keep the population calm during periods of panic or civil unrest. I did this for years though, because I had the desire to serve my fellow monsters, even if I had to be the bad guy. With this position, I could continue serving my community, without the disapproval or having to be that individual. I want to help in a good way, and hopefully in a more well-received role.”

Nice, that sounded convincing.

“I see, and what have you done in preparation for becoming a firefighter?”

“Yeah, what makes you qualified for the role?” Joel added.

“Well, I am constantly jogging and exercising, so I believe I am in peak physical shape for such a strenuous role. My former role as the Royal Guard Captain has given me many years of experience under stressful conditions and the ability to change and implement plans as the emergency evolves. I don’t have any flesh either, so I am a lot harder to catch on fire. It’s pretty hard to burn bone in general.” The men laughed at his response initially, only to realize he hadn’t joined in.

“Are you being serious?”

“I am a skeleton monster after all. The hindrance of flesh doesn’t apply here.”

“Alright.” Frank jotted down a few notes, Joel seeming more curious about something else.

“Sorry if this is unprofessional, but how do you move without muscle? Would you even be able to carry someone out of a burning building?”

“Magic, and there is no need to worry about that. I am more than capable of benching well over three hundred pounds, and in the worst case I can use magic to carry people.” He grinned at finally having the chance to brag a bit. “Would you like a demonstration?”

“After the interview perhaps,” Frank added hastily moving onto his next question. “In our department, firefighters work long shifts, often twenty-four to forty-eight hours at a time. How will you and your family manage a non-traditional schedule?”

“I don’t actually have a family that lives with me.” He paused for a moment trying to consider his word choice. “I only have a brother, but he only visits a few days a month… I do have a cat though. I think she will be okay, but I can ask my brother to take care of her when I cannot.” That was the one question he hadn’t considered, especially since part-time firefighters were just meant to be on call and not living at the station.

“That will make scheduling easier,” Frank admitted.

“Aww, I love cats!” Joel smiled. “Do you have a picture? What’s her name?” 

“Joel, seriously. Ask him after the interview.” The elder sighed, just short of performing a facepalm. “Final question. What suggestions do you have for improving our fire prevention and public education programs?”

That was a complicated question, but he had a few ideas.

“First of all, I believe the best course would be offering programs and educational experiences for monsters of all ages. Most humans aren’t aware of our former culture underground, but one of the biggest rules was self-reliance no matter the situation. Many monsters will refuse to call emergency services whether it be from stubborn pride or mistrust towards humans, as many have not been kind to us.” He crossed his arms and nodded with finality. “Regardless of whether I am hired or not, I believe it’s important to outreach to the monster community, build trust and relations between them and the department, and teach them that it is okay to call upon humans for help.”

He looked at the men when neither of them responded right away. Joel looked genuinely moved, while Frank had stopped taking notes and was paying genuinely close attention.

“T-thank you for your time. I have no further questions. What about you Joel?” Frank questioned without getting a response. “Joel!” Frank elbowed the man getting him to wipe his eyes quickly.

“Sorry! I just didn’t realize that’s why monsters rarely called in-“ Frank elbowed him again to get him on track. “N-no questions at the moment. We’ll call you regarding our decision within a few days.”

“Thank you for your time.” Razz stood and bowed formally, turning towards the door to leave. 

“Hold on a second!” Razz turned around right before he reached the exit, seeing Joel was rushing towards him. “Sorry, I nearly forgot to ask. Do you think you can demonstrate that ‘magic thing’ you were talking about? I really wanna see what you meant.”

The skeleton gave a rye smile. “Well, as you’ll clearly see, if I’m trapped in an emergency situation where I need to carry an unconscious victim and use my hands to escape, I can simply do this.” He pinged the man’s soul blue, lifting him up very gently so he was hovering a few inches above the ground. He hollered in surprise, even the receptionist stood up in shock.

“I didn’t know monsters could do this! this is awesome!” 

“Why thank you! It is merely a small feat for one such as I!” He set him down and smiled smugly.

“Frank isn’t gonna believe this! Thanks for coming in man.” He offered his hand forward. Razz froze for a minute. 

The gesture reminded him of something… odd. A foggy scene, an outstretched arm in a hopeful truce, a small person with a knife. Why was he getting such dejavu?

“You okay man?” Joel questioned, causing Razz to jolt in surprise.

Shit.

“Y-yeah. Thank you for allowing me to interview.” He shook the man’s hand firmly and pulled away, putting both arms behind his back to hide the trembling. Joel went back into the office and Razz quickly exited the building and hid in his car. He had to take a few minutes to calm down, wiping a bit of magic perspiration forming on his skull. His soul was beating frantically and it wasn’t from the interview.

“In. Hold. Out. Hold. In. Hold. Out. Hold.” Keep count, force himself to breathe in time with his tempo.

There.

That was better.

His soul was starting to settle again. At least enough for him to drive.

He’d have to avoid handshakes in the future.

XxxxxxxxxxxX

Stepping into his apartment he could feel all the energy escaping his body. His feet were dragging and it wasn’t even two in the afternoon.

Stars that was exhausting.

He didn’t even react to the scent of smoke and crispy burnt food. He looked up to see his brother in a very strange predicament.

“S-so how did it go?” Slim questioned as soon as he walked through the door. He was literally holding a frying pan over the trashcan and trying to scrape off what was presumably a terrible sandwich. Razz paused for a moment trying to process the sight. 

“What are- w-why is-?! What-“ His anger flared for a moment and he tried to calm his soul before he said something he’d really regret.

In. Hold. Out. Hold. In. Hold. Out. Hold.

Step into the hallway for a moment so he could think, clench and unclench his fist trying to blow off some steam. He waited until his soul had slowed to a rhythmic pulse annoyance instead of anger.

Heh. Annoyance on top of exhaustion. He was growing used to feeling like this.

“Well, that would explain the smell at least.” He mused quietly. No wonder the apartment smelled horrible.

But did he really want to know…?

Stepping back into the apartment he saw Slim was starting to scratch at his wrist with his free hand.

A nervous tick that still remained after all this time apparently.

“The interview went okay, I think. The guys didn’t seem disgusted by me so that’s a start.” He tried to focus his attention on Slim's first question.

“That’s good to hear.” His brother smiled, more surprised than anything. He was most likely expecting a verbal berating, but Razz refused to let that happen today. He was still a bit confused by Slim’s sudden change in behavior. This was different from the cold shoulder he was getting the last seven days at least.

“So… what are you doing?” 

“... lunch?”

“I can see that.” Razz stepped forward trying to identify whatever the hell was currently glued to his frying pan. If he had to guess it was probably grilled cheese.

“W-well… it was okay until the cat got too close-“

“Let’s just order a pizza instead.” He took the pan from Slim and trashed the whole thing. He couldn’t find the energy to try cleaning it currently.

It just wasn’t worth it.

“You sure? I-I thought you hated pizza?”

“To be fair, Hawaiian is better than it thought it would be…” Razz admitted under his breath, but Slim seemed fine with that decision. 

Excited even.

It was almost relaxing to see.

“Meow!” Oh yeah, Lord Hater hadn’t greeted him yet. She was crying out by his bedroom door, presumably trying to escape the smell.

“Alright alright, just a second.” He stepped over to his bedroom door and let her inside. “I’m going to change if you want to order the food.”

“S-sure thing bro! Can do!” Slim fumbled with his phone while Razz slipped into his bedroom. 

It didn’t take long for him to change. He eventually exited his room and cracked some windows in hopes of airing out the apartment a bit. He also replaced the battery in his smoke detector seeing as it didn’t go off. He’d add a new one to his shopping list just in case.

While they waited on food Razz focused on cleaning up the mess Slim had left in his cooking disaster. His brother took the garbage outside to get the worst smelling stuff out of the room. They worked in relative silence, Razz unsure if Slim was still mad at him, and Slim too nervous that the elder would start yelling over this.

After an hour the food had finally arrived.

Thank the stars they could eat.

Soon both were sitting around the table enjoying a Hawaiian pizza. Even Lord Hater had a slice to munch on. She was so insistent on getting in the box that Razz finally gave up and threw a piece into her food bowl. At the moment she was tangling herself up in the very stretchy cheese. 

Slim was tapping his claws against the table, trying to work up the courage to say something. The elder simply waited. He wasn’t sure what it would be about, but he assumed it was why Slim had suddenly become friendly again.

“.... I’m sorry.” Slim finally whispered. “I-I talked with- I-I mean I thought about what I said the other day. I shouldn’t have pushed you. I’m sorry.” It took a moment for Razz to remember what he was talking about.

Right. The court case. 

“... I was meaning to talk to you about that.” Razz set his plate down, rubbing his sockets hoping to wake up a bit more. “I talked to Toriel, and after a long discussion, I’ve decided to join the lawsuit.

“Y-you are?” Slim looked genuinely surprised.

“Yes, but I only agreed to it under very particular circumstances!” He added quickly. “I will only be attending the courtroom for one day, and that is the only time they can call me as a witness. I don’t wish to be there any longer than necessary.” 

“Y-you didn’t just do it because of me, right?” Slim looked a bit worried by the prospect. “I don’t want to force you.” Stars he wished Slim had come to this conclusion before he spoke to Toriel.

Too late to pull out now.

“Of course not.” He lied through his teeth. “As you said, this will help stop future monsters from being harmed. I need to protect my fellow kin.”

“Meow!” Lord Hater apparently agreed. The younger’s shoulders actually relaxed from the news.

“I-I’m actually glad.” He admitted. “I w-wanted to hunt down the humans that hurt you. If the courts didn’t do anything at least.”

“Under no circumstances do I want you to ever do something that stupid. Ever.” Razz jabbed his finger warningly.

“You're not my master anymore.” 

“But I AM your brother, and I know the city better.”

“You suck.”

“No, you suck.”

“You suck times infinity.”

“Whatever! Just don’t be a hero.” Razz crossed his arms with a huff. Slim gave a devious grin and pretended like he was perfectly innocent.

“I make no promises.” He chuckled.

Stupid. Everyone was stupid…

His phone started ringing, Razz pulling together out to see a call from an unknown number. He cautiously answered, unsure if it would be a scam or a prank call.

“Hello?” He asked hesitantly. It was Frank from the fire department. “... Y-yes! Thank you for this opportunity… yes, I will be in on Wednesday.” He hung up his phone, unable to believe what he was just told.

“Did something happen?” Slim asked.

“The fire department just called me back… I’ve been hired.”

“That’s great!” 

“Y-yeah…”

“You aren’t happy?” Slim questioned.

“I am! It’s just… it’s only been half a day…” The news was too good to be true, and he was waiting for the universe to kick him in the gut again. “I don’t believe it…”

“Y-you must of made a really good impression.” Slim beamed.

“I guess… I’ve just never had anyone offer me a job so quickly. Did anyone else even apply? And… who are you texting?!”

“N-nobody!” Slim hid his phone before Razz could grab it.

“Who the hell did you just text?!” 

“N-nobody important.” Slim grinned nervously. Razz was done, diving in and trying to wrestle the phone from Slim’s pocket.

“Give it to me!”

“No!” 

“GIVE IT!”

“NO!”

The chair Slim was in gave out under the struggle and they both hit the hard floor with a loud thud. His cheap kitchen chair was now down to three legs, the fourth one at the other end of the kitchen.

“Ow…” Slim moaned. Razz just elbowed him in the ribs, now having a fresh head bruise and still not getting his prize. 

“That’s what you get for hiding your phone from me.”

“Y-you’re still a jerk.”

“And you’re dumb-“ He froze as soon as the word slipped out and Slim’s demeanor instantly stiffened. “N-not what I meant! I meant you're an idiot, b-but in the way Alphy’s calls me a dumbass! I’m sorry!” Shit! He slipped up.

“I-it’s okay, I get it.” Slim pushed him off the floor and sat on the not broken chair.

“... how do I always end up putting myself in the doghouse…” Razz groaned into the floor, only for Slim to start laughing. “W-what? What’d I say?”

“... woof woof.” Slim barely managed to say before breaking into harder cackling.

Oh.

He just punned. Unintentionally.

“Goddammit Mutt...”

“Meow!”

“Not you!” Razz shoved the cat away before she could lick him with that pizza tongue.

Stars, she was a greasy mess with cheese and sauce all over her paws. 

She would need another bath soon.

Razz slowly stood and started picking up the remnants of his chair. Well, at least his original four chairs weren’t part of the same set to begin with. It wouldn’t be a problem to grab something from Goodwill. Or the dump.

That’s where all the other shit he’s ever owned came from.

“L-l-listen…” Slim mumbled, sounding the shyest he’s been since before moving to Underfell. This must be something he wouldn’t like. “S-since everything is going so well… m-maybe you’d like to try meeting the Fell Brothers again?”

Yep. Something he didn’t like.

“I would rather not honestly.” Razz stated.

“Come on bro! I-it’s been years since you’ve seen them.”

“And I can go many more years without seeing them, thank you very much!” He took his plate and waltzed over to the fridge. He’d finish eating later.

Slim wasn’t satisfied with the answer.

“M-maybe now that everything’s settled from the whole ‘discovering our a-alternate’ selves thing, we can all try to start over?”

“Seriously knock it if-“

“We need to talk about this sooner or later! Y-you know it too!”

“Why are you so insistent on this?!” Razz whirled around angrily, his brother flinching back for a moment.

“Because all three of you are my brothers…” He had to sit up a bit straighter to show he wasn’t backing down. “I-it would be nice if all my brothers could get along… e-even if it’s only for short periods of time… I just want everyone to get along.” 

Razz had to take a second. His brother looked really desperate, and he knew Slim was right. The fact of the matter was, seeing them was a constant reminder of his failings.

“I doubt it would end well.”

“Could you at least try? The Fell Brothers said they were willing to meet on your terms even. P-please.” Stars dammit why did he have to ask while making that face?!

Stars he had a bad feeling about this.

“... I’ll…”

Why the hell was he doing this?

“I’ll try… but don’t get your hopes up!”

“You mean it?” Slim asked, sounding hopeful but still hesitant.

“Yes, I mean it! Just… schedule us for a potluck or something. I don’t care.” Razz crossed his arms and looked away, not expecting Slim to hug him. 

The first in over a decade.

“Thanks, bro. I really appreciate it.” Slim whispered. It took a moment for Razz to process it, and by then Slim had pulled away and was reaching for his phone.

“I-I’ll let them know. Just give me your schedule when you have it.”

“Yeah yeah.” Razz waved him off heading to his own room.

Stars he was not looking forward to that encounter.

XxxxxxxxxxxX

The firehouse was bigger than Razz expected. The apparatus bay alone had two fire engines, a fire truck, two ambulances, and a platform truck. There was even a side room with all the maintenance and car cleaning tools anyone could ever need. Joel was giving him the grand tour, and he was sure to show him everything, no matter how insignificant.

The first floor had a few more offices, but also a laundry room, kitchen, lounge area, and a four-stalled bathroom with built-in showers.

“And this is our gym.” Joel opened one of the hallway doors and ushered him inside. Razz’s sockets went wide at the sight. It wasn’t a big gym, but it had weights, treadmills, and even a punching bag.

It looked SO much better than the old gym he went to.

“T-this is for everyone to use?” He had to double-check before officially getting his hopes up.

“Yeah, man. We need to stay fit for the type of hard work we do, so we have to be in tip-top shape.”

“I meant, is this something I can use? I’m allowed to come in here and work out?” Razz turned to ask him directly. Joel just looked confused by the question.

“Yeah, dude. I mean, I don’t understand how exercise works with no muscles, but you are free to use it.”

“I… see.” He looked back at all the equipment. He was so happy he could cry. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. The tour’s not over.” He beckoned him to follow up the staircase. Razz had to shake his head a bit. He had a feeling Joel wasn’t great at picking up social cues. At least he was a nice human.

“Up here are the dorm rooms.”

“Dorm rooms? Like at a college?”

“Basically. Since we pulled such long shifts we also have rooms here. Gotta sleep at some point, right?”

“Right…” He followed quietly seeing a few of the rooms currently occupied. They all had personal touches from the humans that worked there. Some of them had photos of family members on display, while others had funny sports posters or stupid trinkets. “These are only available to full-time firemen, correct?”

“That’s right. It’s funny actually. For the most part, you were overqualified for the position. The only thing stopping us from hiring you full time is the fact you never went to a Fire Academy.”

“Fire academy? That’s a thing?” Fell raised a brow bone in surprise. He wasn’t sure if he should focus on that fact, or that he was so close to being offered full-time.

“They are. If you’d like to further your education and try for a full-time position later on, I know Frank would write you a recommendation.” Joel continued leading him back downstairs to the side office his orientation was given in.

“I would like that very much actually. And how long does it take to earn a degree there?”

“Not necessarily a degree, but the program takes about twelve to fourteen weeks.”

“That’s only three months…” Razz was trying to calculate the logistics of everything in his head. This was the first place that his employers acted eager to work with him, and whether he liked the career or not, this would be his first legitimate chance to move up the ranks since his Underground days. He’d be stupid not to do it.

“So where can I sign up for this ‘Fire Academy?’ I would like to start as soon as possible.

“You’ll have plenty of time for that after we’re done for the day. First, you’ll have to watch some training videos and finish a few more forms. Then we can get started on everything else.” He led him back downstairs to the little room with the mountains of paperwork he had to go through that day. Razz had a feeling it would take the rest of the day to get through what remained.

“That is okay. I’ve spent far more time on paperwork than I care to admit.”

He would tackle this head-on like everything else.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

The lights were on when he got home, and Lord Hater didn’t run up to greet him. He soon found out why. Of all the things that could have been in his kitchen, he wasn’t expecting to see Toriel, Asgore, Alphys, Undyne, Chara, and Slim. They were standing around the kitchen table with a cake in the center.

Did he forget someone's birthday?

“Congratulations!” They all announced suddenly. He had no idea how to react, so he asked the only thing coming to mind.

“... what?”

“We’re congratulating you on the new job, idiot,” Alphys explained. “What else would this be about?”

The fact that he was falling down perhaps? Or to celebrate the cat everyone loved? None of them seemed like appropriate things to say aloud.

“Wait, how did you find out?!”

“We have our ways.” The lizard monster grinned. “By the way, I met the ‘beast’ you were yelling about. As you said, she’s SUUUUPER terrifying.” The sarcasm spewing from her mouth was accompanied by a shit eating grin. He looked around the room spotting Lord Hater crawling on Asgore’s horns. She seemed to be enjoying the highest spot in the house, much to Razz’s chagrin.

“Y-you just caught her at a bad time! She’s normally a savage beast!”

“Meow!” Lord Hater called as much attention to herself as possible at the WORST moment.

“Ohhhh so beastly.” She snickered.

“Alphyyyyyyys!” Razz growled but the lizard could only cackle. Undyne slipped in to say the obligatory congratulations before returning to her usual dislike of him.

“I can’t believe they called you back so quickly. What, you were unemployed for a week?” Well, that was probably the closest he’d get to a compliment anyway.

“Two actually.”

“Same difference.”

“Whatever.” Razz rolled his eyelights and huffed. Chara ran up to him next with a wrapped gift. 

“What is this?” He raised a brow bone suspiciously.

“You have to open it and find out.” The kid smiled like the little shit they were. Razz took it with a few grumbled curse words, carefully removing the wrapping paper revealing a white mug with words written on the side.

“...‘World's Most OK Fireman’...” it was written in the kids handwriting with marker flames on the side. It was one of those decorate youself and bake cups. Their grin became even wider like they just made the best joke of their life.

“I ran out of room to write ‘greatest’ or ‘best’ so this was my solution.”

“I’m pretty sure ‘#1’ would have been equally appropriate, and you didn’t need to include ‘Most’ for like, any of those other words.”

“But don’t you hate it when people don’t spell out numbers in sentences? Something about being grammatically incorrect?” They narrowed their eyes and grinned even wider. Razz just gave them the most deadpan glare he could manage.

“... shut up.” 

“Hahaha!” Chara laughed garnering Toriel’s attention.

“Did you give him your gift, my child?” She asked kindly. 

“I did!”

“Yes… it’s… lovely. Thank you Human.” He smiled tightly knowing he couldn’t say anything else with his monarch in earshot.

“I hope you don’t mind the party we threw. When your brother notified us of your hiring we just had to celebrate.” Ah, so THAT’S who Slim was texting the other day. The little snitch.

“We wanted to do a surprise party, but Toriel and Puppy said it was a bad idea.” Chara huffed a bit disappointed.

“Thank you for not doing that.” Razz added, genuinely grateful. Stars he probably would have killed half of them in a sheer defensive reflex.

“So... can I ride in the fire truck whenever I want?” Chara jumped excitedly.

“Seriously, is that the only thing you're happy about?” 

“My child. Now is not the time to ask such things.” Toriel scolded. “Now run off and play with Papyrus. I’d like to speak with Sans personally.”

“Okay.” They said, sounding disappointed to be excluded. Toriel turned to Sans looking far more serious.

“I’m honestly surprised, though I really shouldn’t be. You were one of the greatest Guard Captains I’ve ever worked with.” Razz couldn't stop himself from blushing a bit.

“W-well of course! The Maleficent Sans is always aiming for the best!” 

“I know that.” She smiled. “And I am sure you’ll do a wonderful job representing monsters in public service positions. Do our kin proud.”

“i will!” He couldn’t stop himself from saluting, earning a chuckle from her.

“Let’s have some cake then. I made it myself, and I don’t know how much longer Papyrus can hold himself back.” The two glanced over to the kitchen table where Slim was eying the thing like it was the first meal he’d seen in months. His eyelights were sparkling, and mouth clearly watering in anticipation. 

Damn his brother was such a moron sometimes.

“Very well, best not to keep him waiting.” They headed over to the table for food.

He had to admit, this wasn’t a bad way to spend his evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter came way faster then I anticipated, but the idea were flowing the weekend and I spent way to much time typing.
> 
> Also haven’t beat read yet and I’m really tired. I’ll clean up the errors later.
> 
> Leave a comment if you enjoyed! They always make my day, and I love seeing everyone’s thoughts.


	7. Catch Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans is settling into his new position. Meanwhile he may need Slim’s help for an... unusual task.

Razz sat down after a long morning of checking equipment, tea mug in one hand and study guide in the other. It had been a month since he started working at the Firestation, and things were going far better than he could have ever imagined.

First of all he had successfully entered the Fire Academy, and was currently studying hard to hopefully gain full time employment soon. He was already top of his class too, despite the reservations of some of his professors and classmates. Thankfully, his new employer sent him in highly recommended.

Second were his coworkers, the greatest enigmas he’d ever come in contact with. A few of them visibly tensed when he entered a room, choosing to stay at the opposite end of the table from him, or eat standing in a corner. For the most part though, a good number of these humans treated him kindly, and he didn’t know how to feel about it. Sure it took a few weeks for them to get accustomed to his presence, but a few of them were treating him like “part of the family” and it was starting to freak him out.

“Hey Sans!” The skeleton looked across the break room to see Joel and Trisha arguing. She was a fireman and EMT, having formerly been a member of the human military and serving several tours of active duty. She reminded him of Alphys in many ways, with a lot of upper body strength for a human female. “Mind clearing something up for us?”

“Depends on what it is.” Razz responded flatly. 

“How old are you exactly?” Huh, that’s not what he was expecting to hear.

“And why do you wish to know?” He had a feeling it was over something stupid, but he wanted to be sure. Joel was the one that explained. 

“So humans usually live about seventy to eighty years because our organs and stuff eventually give out and stop working. You’re already dead and don’t have organs though, so you wouldn’t have to worry about organ failure, yeah?”

“... correct.” Partially anyway. He nodded still trying to figure out where this was going. 

“So by that logic, you wouldn’t die of old age, right? You're like a zombie! Trisha thinks I’m crazy, but you can tell her I’m right!” 

“Wow… Joel, you couldn’t have said that any less rude? Do you realize how that came across out loud?” She shook her head unable to stop herself from facepalming. “Sorry Sans, if that was inappropriate. You don’t need to answer-“

“Queen Toriel is in the triple digits, and she is a goat monster.” Both of their eyes widened at that. They genuinely weren’t expecting an answer, and he was surprised at himself for giving one. Maybe it was the lack of malicious intent on Joel’s part, but it came across as an innocent question.

He could answer an innocent question.

“No way. You’re bullshiting us.” Trisha chuckled unsure what else to do.

“Actually, the last time she was considered young was before monsters were banished underground. She was alive before the continent of America had a name, and she has lived that long WITH organs.” Razz sipped his tea trying to hide an amused smirk. They were both looking shocked if nothing else.

“Wow, so you must be ancient then!” Joel oogled. 

“If you consider thirty-one to be ancient, then yes.” Razz actually wasn’t positive how old he was, because he wasn’t sure when one would have qualified a skeleton grown in a test tube as alive. It was between twenty-nine to thirty-two, so he decided to go with the median number. Not that Joel would have known, seeing as Razz neglected to put his age on his application. It wasn’t that big of a deal for monsters, given their life spans normally.

Key word being normally.

“Really? You’re thirty-one? No way.” Joel snickered.

“What? Why is that hard to believe of all things?”

“I’ve seen Toriel on television. Honestly, I thought she was in her fifties. No offense, but you look way rougher.” Well, Joel wasn’t wrong about that. Not that he needed to know the real reason Razz was looking so weathered.

“Not like you’re any prettier. When I walked into that interview, I thought I was looking at an old hag, and I’m not talking about the chief.”

“OHHHH! He got you good!” Trisha busted out laughing while Joel was trying to figure out what was so funny.

“I… I don’t get it.”

“It’s fine Joel. As a fellow old fossil, we have to stick together, right?” Sans added with his tone unintentionally dry. Trisha looked about ready to fall out of her seat from cackling so hard, and Joel just seemed more confused.

Frank decided to walk in for a cup of coffee just then, finding the three of them all in a state.

“Do I want to know what I missed?”

“A-apparently *wheeze* Sans can crack jokes every so often. Who knew?” Trisha barely managed to say over her laughter. Frank just stared at them while pouring himself a hot one, taking a sip and shaking his head.

“Just don’t go too crazy. Trisha looks about ready to pass out-“

The bronze bell on the wall rang out, everyone going serious. 

They were being called to action.

Razz rushed to his little cubby where his gear hung out and ready to use. The pants and coat had to be manually taken in at the seams given his lack of bulk, but that wasn’t stopping him. He quickly pulled on his suspenders, boots, coat and gloves, grabbing his helmet and rushing for the truck Trisha was starting up. It was a big fire apparently. Both engines and the firetruck were being brought out for this call, and the ambulances had already been deployed.

“We have details yet?” Razz hopped into the passenger seat right as Trisha hit the sirens and pulled out of the garage.

“Apparently a drunk driver crashed into the side of a house and the whole thing went up in flames. An elderly man is trapped on the second floor. Other than that we don’t have any more details.” He nodded at her answer and secured his helmet with the chin strap. They didn’t say much for the rest of the drive there. Razz was too busy staring at the cloud of black smoke billowing out of a suburban neighborhood.

As they approached the scale of everything quickly became clear. Neighbors were watching the blaze from across the street, the house itself was completely engulfed in fire and smoke. He was quick to rush out of the truck and grab a hose off the side. Razz was laying down the firsthand line today, or the first hose to actually be deployed, and he was trying to stretch it in a good direction without running over the shrub bushes blocking his way. 

Trisha took the other end and screwed it into a nearby fire hydrant once the hose was rolled out and ready. Meanwhile, Joel and a few other firefighters were walking around the exterior of the house with axes and breaking any windows on the first floor that were still intact for better ventilation.

EMTs were rushing someone into an ambulance, while officers were questioning a crying middle aged woman holding a toddler that seemed oblivious to the whole thing.

“Hose is ready!” Trisha shouted. Razz aimed and shifted the handle letting the water out. The stream was so powerful he had to weigh his own soul down with blue magic. Regardless he didn’t let that fact distract him, or the thought of potentially trapped victims. His job was the hose and controlling the flame, and that’s precisely what he did. As soon as the other truck arrived more firemen with hoses were rushing around getting their own set up and ready, everything an organized chaos that Razz had missed in an odd way. Even if he wasn’t the one in charge, just being a part of everything felt so familiar to his soul.

It was almost like being in the guard again.

It took nearly an hour before they had the fire under some semblance of control, and a second hour before the thing was out entirely.

It was a sad sight. The remaining structure of the house looked over a melted vehicle half hanging through the wall of the living room. There wasn't much of an upstairs left, just a small platform at the top of the burnt up stairs. 

They kept spraying the place down until everything was drenched and the basement was completely flooded.

“Cut the water! Stay on standby!” Joel ordered. The rescue team hadn’t been able to enter before. The flames were too large for conceivable entry and the house was actively collapsing. Now they could. 

Razz wanted to join them. Of course he wouldn’t given his instructions, but he wanted to. He stood back and ready, watching the others search the debri for any signs of the man that had been trapped. They found him eventually.

What was left of him.

By the end of the day he was sitting through a debriefing meeting at the station with the other firemen. Frank was telling them that they did a good job of containing the fire. No other buildings were damaged, and despite the loss of life and destruction of the home none of their own were hurt. The person he saw being rushed into the ambulance was the driver apparently, having managed to get himself out of the car and drunkenly stumbled to a place where the rescue team could actually grab him. He’d live, but he’d never look the same, though that was the extent Razz was told. The old man, even using the truck lift, couldn’t have been saved, and for some reason that really bothered him. Of course his job wasn’t on the rescue team, so he didn’t have any control over that. Maybe it was the old Guard Captain in him, but he FELT like he should have done more. He’s seen equally awful things in the Underground, but that never made a failure any easier-

“Sans.” The skeleton jolted a bit, realizing the meeting had ended and most of everyone else was filling out, all except for him and the chief.

“Y-yes sir?”

“You did a good job today for your first solo act on line deployment.” Wait… he was getting complimented? “We get graduates from the Fire Academy that make major errors their first time. You’ve been studying.”

“Of course sir! My only wish is to do my best.” He saluted, quickly hiding his hand the second he remembered this wasn’t the Guard.

“Keep it up, alright?”

“Of course!” Frank headed out, Razz dropping his shoulders as soon as he was alone. 

It still didn’t feel like a good job.

The skeleton headed out to the parking lot and crawled into his car. Starting the engine he pulled out, his mind lost in thought.

He had to wonder. If he had been on the rescue team, would things have gone differently? Could he have rescued the old man? He knew for a fact if his brother had been there they could have gotten him out. Slim could teleport for one thing, which was a huge advantage Razz didn’t have. There was his secondary ability too, one he tried to show Razz when he was a child, but the elder had shut him down pretty quickly. 

Slim could use his blasters as a second pair of eyes.

It was a trick he figured out at a pretty young age, and all on his own. Razz was never able to teach himself the technique, and it seemed to be exclusive to Slim from the little he knew of his alternates. It made him an excellent scout, and Razz was sure the younger had it mastered.

Now he was stuck questioning himself. Was it time to try learning the trick again? With it, he could send a blaster skull in to search burning and unstable buildings and locate victims for easier extraction. He had tried and failed to learn before though, but it had been several years since then. There's a chance he cracked the secret without even realizing it.

He supposed there was only one way to find out.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

Lord Hater wasn’t happy with the current situation. Razz was moving all the furniture in the living room against the walls to give himself as much room as possible. There were no good, secret places for him to train his magic attacks, unless he wanted to go back Underground, which was pretty much abandoned. 

He wasn’t firing anything off anyway. There shouldn’t be a problem using his living room. 

Regardless of how much hissing Lord Hater did.

“MEOW!” She howled indignantly at the furniture change, all while scrunching up on the kitchen counter.

“If it upsets you so much, go and hide in my room! You don’t have to be here!”

“Meow!”

“Why do you always talk back? I pay the rent so what I say goes!”

“Meow!”

“Holy shit! Why are you such a pain?!”

“MEOW!”

“GAHHHHHHH!” He turned around and stamped his foot a few times trying to get the frustration out. Thankfully it didn’t take much. He felt emotionally exhausted within a couple minutes, and the drain was happening faster and faster. His max HP hadn’t dropped that much recently. Only five points in the last month. Still, when he was this tired all the time it was hard to react to anything passionately for too long.

He should get going before he starts feeling winded just from moving a few furniture pieces.

Stepping into place he took an unnecessary breath trying to find the right balance in his soul. It had been so long since he used magic like this, and he wanted to make sure it was done properly. Razz extended his left hand and summoned one of his blasters, the weapon floating in the air waiting for his command.

Closing his sockets he tried focusing his magic around the eyelight of the skull. He had no clue how Slim managed the trick on his own. But he was determined to find out. 

“Come on… let me see…” Razz whispered over and over again. He focused more and more into the weapon, it’s eyelights continuing to blaze brighter and brighter with the amount he was forcing into them. Perspiration was forming on his skull and his left hand started trembling from the strain.

Why wasn’t it working?

What was he doing wrong?

If he kept this up much longer-

“GAH-“ 

Everything stopped working momentarily. Knees and hands colliding with the wooden floor, the blaster dissipated in a cloud of spent magic. His whole body was trembling from the shear strain. It was only fifteen minutes of concentration and he already felt this spent. This wasn’t going to work.

“Stars dammit.” He forced himself into a sitting position, Lord Hater rushing over to make sure he was okay.

“Meow?” She rubbed up against him looking for pats.

“Yeah. That was pretty stupid of me, wasn’t it?”

“Meow!” 

“Whatever.” He rolled his eyelights and gave her some gentle scratches under the chin. With his current condition, he couldn’t spend hours and hours trying to figure the technique out on his own. As much as it pained him, the best thing to do would be asking Slim himself.

Stars he really didn’t want to.

When was he visiting again anyway?

Saturday, he’d be stopping by again in two days. He had to wait a little while, so he might as well study for his classes in the meantime.

The furniture could stay where it was though. He didn’t have the energy to move it back in place.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

Slim was definitely surprised when he stopped in for the weekend. Razz was sitting on the couch reading his notes, the thing shoved up against the wall with the coffee table. Lord Hater jumped into Slim’s arms eager to greet him.

“H-have you been… redecorating?” He questioned stroking the purring feline gently. 

“I was actually… trying to learn something.” He fiddled with the page between his fingers. Stars why was this so hard?

“And what would that be?” Slim asked not giving him a break.

“I… look.” Razz exhaled setting his notebook aside and standing up. He had to get this over with. “Do you think you can show me that trick of yours?” Razz asked, trying to hide his embarrassment. Slim just looked at him a bit confused.

“What trick?”

“You know… the one where you can see through your blasters.” He elaborated. The younger blinked, obviously surprised.

“Really?”

“Yes really!” Razz shouted, stepping back for a second right after to get himself under control. Slim flinched back initially. He wasn’t saying anything else until the elder settled. “I-I mean, yes. I would like you to teach me how to do it… please.” He added the last part as an afterthought. Stars asking for anything felt so off. 

“S-sure bro, I just… you’ve never asked me to teach you something. Ever.”

“There is a first time for everything I suppose.” He grumbled. Slim placed Lord Hater on the kitchen table and joined Razz in the living room side. The cat stayed in place, away from the action but within good viewing distance. Slim took his spot beside Razz, seeming a little unsure how to start. This situation was just as weird for him too.

“O-okay… ummm… s-summon your blaster.” Slim instructed after a bit of nervous fumbling. Razz did so with ease, the familiar hovering skull floating in front of him, purple magic blazing from its sockets. “W-what do you feel when you summon it?”

“Ummm… same as I do summoning bone attacks? A slight strain on my magic.”

“N-no, I mean when it’s summoned, what are you feeling?” Razz had no idea what his brother was going on about.

“A slight pull on my magic from the attack, until I fire it.”

“Then what after that?”

“... a large pull on my magic.” Apparently that wasn’t what Slim was getting at either. He paced a bit trying to reorganize his thoughts.

“O-okay, new question. What do you see when you look at your blaster?” That was an easier one to answer.

“A floating skull that strikes fear into my enemies.”

“What else?”

“... a ray gun?” Razz’s couldn’t help but growl when Slim motioned with his hand to continue.

“A weapon? I don’t know if I can break it down any further!”

“I -I can work with that.” Slim nodded and stepped in front of the elder, Razz’s blaster still floating behind him.

“Close your eyes.”

“Why?” Razz questioned. The younger rolled his eyelights in response.

“J-just do it. Try to clear your mind… a-and keep your sockets closed till I say.”

“… fine.” He did as instructed, eyelights going out and sockets sliding closed while letting out a long breath. “They’re closed. What now?” Slim didn’t answer. Instead Razz felt a gentle sensation on the side of his face. Calm fingers were stroking his mandible gently, and despite feeling nice, it was weirding him out.

“Seriously Papyrus, are the face rubs really necessary?” He grumbled.

“Hmmm… I-I think you can open your eyes now.” Slim chuckled. Razz did so, eyelights going wide when he realized Slim was on the opposite end of the room. He was currently stroking the blaster’s jawline as if it was a friendly dog or something, and for a few seconds more Razz could still feel it!

“W-what was that?! Why could I feel that?! Wait. Why did I stop feeling that?!” He rubbed his own jaw trying to figure out if Slim just played a prank on him, or if that sensation was real. The younger couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “Answer me already!”

“You weren’t thinking of it as a weapon, r-right?” Slim smiled. Razz just blinked, still very confused.

“I apologize, but what is that supposed to mean?!”

“The blasters. T-they’re more than weapons. They’re extensions of ourselves.” He summoned his own blaster, the sockets burning brightly, similar to his own. “I-I want you to study them both. Really look at them.” Slim took a step back giving Razz a better view. 

Slim’s blaster was the same as Razz’s in design and color. The longer Razz stared though, the more details he began to notice. A massive crack running down from the right socket to its upper jaw matching the scar it’s owner carried. It was even missing the same canine tooth.

He’d never noticed that detail until now.

Turning his attention to his own blaster, he couldn’t help but see the glaringly obvious details that he never bothered to really look at. His own familiar, scared animal skull with a forever broken horn hovered in the air, it’s bones looking a bit weathered just as Razz’s were currently. It even had matching claw marks across the eye socket. He couldn’t help but touch his own face, making sure the number and width of each gouge was really the same. Turns out, it was very close.

“How did you figure this out?” Razz asked, genuinely curious.

“W-when I was young… before you let me come with you on patrol and after you taught me to summon a blaster, I would get lonely waiting by myself in that big house.” Slim started. Razz couldn’t stop a pang of guilt settling in his chest. He left Slim at home because his job was too dangerous. That meant long hours of separation, and Razz was often too tired to play or interact much afterwards.

“Didn’t you have that spider pet or something? I thought it kept you company?” Slim shook his head to Razz’s confusion.

“S-spiders are nice… b-but they like to be alone, I-I didn’t like being alone, so I started summoning my blaster to talk to.” He called over his own blaster, scratching the side of its cheekbone absently. “I spent hours alone with the thing… just sitting and observing it. Soon I-I started to realise something. When I scratched its cheek, I could feel it. I-It was like… an extension of myself.”

“It is an extension of your magic, like all attacks are.” Razz added.

“N-no. Like… it was REALLY a part of me. Then one day, I just covered my bad socket and started seeing things that the other socket wasn’t.” He placed a palm over one of his sockets and closed the other. Suddenly the magic blazing in the blaster’s socket simmered down a bit, what was clearly Slim’s narrow eyelight taking form inside of it instead. It looked around the room before settling back on Razz.

“Start thinking of your blaster as an extension of yourself, not just as a weapon… m-maybe try hanging out with it? Or talking to it. Just keep it summoned for a while.” Razz nodded, feeling his brother was definitely onto something. The whole touch thing proved it to him. Now he just needed to be patient.

“Alright. I’ll do my best.”

“I know you will bro. Now I’m gonna feed Monika. Y-you can keep practicing though.” He sauntered off to his bedroom leaving Razz along with his blaster. Sitting down on the floor he pulled it over to his eye level so he could stroke its snout. He wasn’t feeling sensation at the moment, but he knew in time it would come.

Not a weapon.

An extension of himself.

This was going to be difficult. 

“You’re a part of me, got it? I will figure this out.” He shut his sockets and breathed deeply, trying to clear his mind like his brother said.

Don’t think of it as a weapon. It’s not a weapon. An extension of himself-

“GAHHHHH!” He reeled back at the painful invasive sensation charging through his right socket. Lord Hater decided to try pouncing at the eyelights on the blaster, only to phase through it and get lodged in the socket. It cried and struggled making the pain even worse. 

“WOULD YOU GET LOST! CHRIST!” He grabbed the cat back fur and yanked it out of the socket, clutching his sore eye and staring daggers at the thing. Slim teleported to the room immediately.

“Bro?! W-what’s wrong-“

“This cat has no concept of space! That’s what!” He chucked it at Slim, the younger managing to catch her. He hid her inside his jacket and quickly ported away again, knowing anything he said would piss the other off even more.

“..... gaaaaAHH DAMMIT!” He barked, unable to get the sensation of little hairs stuck to the rugged portions of bone out of his socket. Some fur had actually gotten caught in the blaster’s socket, and he could feel every tickle and twitch. Dissipating his blaster he tried shaking the uncomfortable feeling.

Well, he was already feeling things through the blaster, so that was a start. He’d try again once he calmed down.

His phone buzzed signalling a new message. Grabbing the thing he saw Toriel’s name on the screen.

‘Sans. Please call me when you get the time. I have a favor to ask of you.’

Well that was different. What could she possibly need from him. It was t so urgent that he needed to call right away, but she still needed something. 

He hit the call button and waited for her pick up.

“Hello? 

“Toriel, I received your message. What do you need?”

“Good evening Sans. Thank you for calling me back.

“Of course, whatever your request is I shall fulfil it.” That was true. He’d already been through hell and back as her guardsman.

“I hate to ask this if you, but there will be an important PTA meeting at Chara’s school, and unfortunately Asgore and I will be busy with preparing things for the court case.”

“... PTA?” Sans blinked. He wasn’t even sure what that was.

“Parent Teacher Association. They are responsible for fundraisers and events regarding the school. As I said, this will be an important one, and a few of the parents have tried to exclude child monsters from things before.”

“So you want me to make sure that doesn’t happen? Are you sure I’m a good choice?” He didn’t have children. He wasn’t even dating anyone who had kids. Would they let him enter the meeting room?

“You and Papyrus are practically Chara’s uncles, and I’ll notify them of the temporary substitution. In fact, would you like to bring Papyrus too? I’m sure his presence would add a lot to the meeting.”

“I mean… if you really need me to, I’ll be there.” He could hear Toriel let out a relieved sigh. 

“Thank you so much Sans. I’ll be sure to give you the date and time along with the essential notes.”

“Of course. We shall talk more then.” He hung up and popped his vertebrae back in place. Just another thing to handle. 

Although… he might be able to get some help.

“Hey Papyrus!” Sans shouted. Slim slowly opened his bedroom door and peaked into the hallway.

“Y-yeah?”

“Toriel wants me to attend a PTA meeting for Chara. Feel like joining?”

“W-what's that?”

“Parent Teacher Association. We’re helping plan fundraisers for the kids or something.” Slim perked up at hearing it was for the benefit of school children.

“Sure! I’ll come.”

“Good. I’ll have more information about it later.” He shut his bedroom door again, Razz taking a seat on the sofa and looking up PTA information with his phone. He summoned his blaster as a temporary companion too, still trying to follow Slim’s instruction at the same time.

Just another thing to prepare for.

Good thing he liked challenges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll beta read it better after. For now on enjoy! Hopefully I didn’t make the OC’s annoying or anything. They will always maintain a secondary roll.
> 
> Feel free to leave feedback! It’s the fuel that keeps me going asfdsdffz


	8. Dear Agony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razz and Slim attend their very first PTA meeting. 
> 
> They have entered a new kind of battleground.

Razz had to rub his sockets after parking, trying to wake himself up a little more. Sure he’d had several bad nights in a row, but in the past nightmares hadn’t knocked him down this badly. Tea wasn’t helping his alertness anymore, and he absolutely hated the taste of coffee.

Then again, if he actually wanted to stay productive he may not have a choice.

“You okay?” Slim questioned seeing Razz stifle a yawn.

“Fine. I just didn’t sleep much last night.” The half truth rolled off his metaphorical tongue, Slim easily falling for it. He didn’t press the issue, simply nodding and turning back to observe the brick building. They agreed a while ago they wouldn’t check each other's stats without permission, after a long heated argument that left both sides exhausted and emotionally drained. So far that had been his only saving grace given his HP situation. How long that would last, though, was always a question itching at the back of his mind.

“Come on. Let’s get going.” He opened his car door and stepped outside. The school was empty for the day, except for the children of the PTA members racing each other on the playground waiting for their parents to finish. Chara was among them, sitting on a swing alone, perking up immediately when the skeletons pulled in.

“Dunkle Puppy! Gruncle Sans!” They hugged the two of them as they grabbed supplies from the vehicle.

“Hello human. Shouldn’t you be playing with the others?” Razz questioned, securing a satchel with Toriel’s notes over his shoulder. Chara looked uncharacteristically sheepish and glanced at the group of kids.

“Not when Tycho is around. He’s a jerk.”

“Tyler?” Razz blinked at the odd name.

“No, ‘Tie-kO,’ and his mom is very insistent on that.” Chara rolled their eyes just thinking of her. “You’ll meet her in the PTA thing. Toriel says she’s a bitch-“

“CHARA! Only use that language at home!” Razz scolded immediately. “Or when someone currently deserves it.”

“But it’s true.” They pouted. Slim seemed more thoughtful than anything.

“W-where does that name even come from? Finland? China?”

“We can look it up later.” Razz waved him off. “Where do we go for this meeting exactly?”

“Meeting room across from the cafeteria.” They pointed to the appropriate double doors on the main building.

“Thanks. We’ll go for ice cream after.”

“Can you take me in a firetruck?” They asked hopefully, much to Razz's chagrin. He rolled his eyelights and just walked to the building, Slim waving off Chara and rushing to catch up. They entered, coming upon a side room where several human adults were chatting and laughing. Inside was a table in the center of the room with ten humans sitting around it. There was also a glass dish with some sort of powdery desert in it that people were taking from. If Toriel's debrief- notes were anything to go by, that was brought by Helen.

Slim shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled a bit behind Razz. He was already looking a bit overwhelmed.

“S-so do we go in or-“ Razz raised a hand to stop him and stepped forward, letting Slim fall in behind. Everyone stopped talking once they entered.

And so it began.

“Good evening. My name is Sans, and this is my brother Papyrus. We are here in the stead of Asgore and Toriel to represent them in their absence.” Heh, nailed it.

A blonde with a Karen haircut and too much Botox was the first to say anything.

“Oh.” She sounded like this was a huge inconvenience for her.

Linda then.

“Welcome.” A shorter plump woman stood up and shook his hand, after a slight moment of hesitation at seeing nothing but bones. She gave it a single shake and stood back. “My name is Marge. I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

And she did. There were three men in the group. Chris, Denzel, and Kyle. The latter happened to be in the catty group Toriel warned him about. The music teacher, Miss Cindy, was seated at the other end of the table wearing a flowing dress and seeming the most comfortable with the brothers. The only other notable people were Linda and Helen, the two of which took an immediate dislike to the skeletons.

Not unexpected.

“If you would all have a seat, I have a meeting to run.” The blonde looked over to Chris. He flipped through a binder of paperwork before speaking up.

“The biggest thing we need to finalize is the fall festival. We still need to decide on volunteers for most of the booths, food vendors, and a few more activities.”

“Good news is I managed to book the dunk tank,” Marge added. ”We need-“

“Hold on, we still have something important to vote on.” Linda butted in. “As all of you know, this is a family event, not a Halloween scare house. Parents won’t want to come if they’re… ‘beast’ present. We can’t have our children traumatized.”

“Seriously Linda? You’re forcing segregation, and it’s exactly how many marginalized groups were treated in the recent past.” Denzel especially flared at her angrily. “It’s racism and we won’t accept that here.”

“No! What I’m saying makes perfect sense! Have you SEEN the teeth on them? Those skeletons just prove my point even more. They are clearly dangerous.” She sent a sneaky death glare in Sans and Slim’s direction. Linda’s little group seemed in agreement, though the other argued back.

Razz thought he should say something. He needed to defend his people, just like Toriel asked him to. His mind wasn’t cooperating though, and he could feel his head dropping to the side as only sporadic words seemed to pass the static clouding his hearing. He’d snap to attention momentarily before everything went fuzzy again.

“W-Wait! W-w-we just want peace. You don’t even know us.” Slim had to butt in due to Razz’s silence. The younger wasn’t suited for verbal arguments of this nature. This was Razz’s area of expertise, he was here precisely in case this happened. Still, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t think. Why wasn’t he able to come up with anything to say? His mind was starting to feel very sluggish, and his eyelights were fading in and out of existence. When they were present it was far too much effort to keep focused on any one person, and his mind couldn’t concentrate long enough to stay present in the current argument.

“T-the monster kids will be upset if they can’t come-“ Razz snapped back to attention right as Slim started running out of steam. Linda was outdoing him in both volume and word count, and she was taking advantage of his nerves.

“Maybe you should let your ‘brother’ do the talking.” Linda rolled her eyes. “It’s hard to understand you with that stutter. Then again, it’s not like he’s been contributing. I’m not sure why he came.”

“He must be special needs.” Helen whispered not so subtly to Kyle. Loud enough for both skeletons to hear.

That was enough to force his mind to stay in the present. Razz’s eyelights went out, and Slim sank into his seat clearly embarrassed. Linda and her cronies were grinning amongst themselves, while the decent human parents looked a mix between embarrassed, apologetic, and completely livid. Razz was the latter. He remembered always nagging Slim for his speech impediment, how his brother always crawled into himself or scratched at his wrist nervously after. He wouldn’t speak for days sometimes, and after everything that happened since, Razz really regretted making him feel that terrible.

It’s not like he offered speech lessons to help him fix it.

And now this HUMAN was attacking his brother with it?

Well, he wasn’t going to take her comments like Toriel and Asgore normally did. This was a declaration of war, and he was bringing his A-game.

Well, B-game is more likely. His mind was still a bit muddled with exhaustion.

“Well Linda, maybe you should set a better example. I can barely understand you through that mouthful of shit you’re spewing.” Razz said in the flattest tone imaginable. Several of the parents gasped, and even Slim was looking at him like he grew a second head. Linda’s face twisted like she had just sucked on a lemon, expression going from shocked to enraged.

“Why I never-“

“Careful, that grating tone is often used by monkeys in heat. You’ll attract the wrong crowd with that voice.”

“S-she likes to ‘monkey’ around too much.” Slim whispered with a snicker.

“HOLY SHIT” Marge busted out, unable to contain her cackling any longer. She was practically falling out of her seat from the force of her laughter. Even a few of the dads were laughing, Chris and Denzel barely keeping their chuckles contained.

Slim was giving Linda the biggest shit-eating grin now, offering his fist in Razz’s direction. Hesitantly he bumped it with his own, all the while Linda was fuming.

“Linda.” The music teacher finally spoke up despite everyone still laughing. “This matter was already decided on, and you can’t overrule it. You wouldn’t want to bring it up to the superintendent either.” The woman placed her finger on a little gray box by her notebook. He had to squint his sockets to get a better look.

Damn. She had a recorder in plain sight this whole time and Razz didn’t notice. Apparently, Linda didn’t either. Her face turned white and she couldn’t get a proper response out. She had said some pretty offensive things, even if Razz hadn’t caught them all at the time. Hell, he’d even act like some things she spewed was worse than they really were, just to spite her.

“If *wheeze* i-if we’re done talking about unrelated topics, we do have some business to get back to. Denzel?” Marge motioned over to the man, all while Linda kept floundering like a fish out of water.

“R-right. Back to the festival.” He had to cough a few times just to get the residual giggles out. “Sans. You actually work at the local Fire Department, right? Asgore had mentioned last meeting that perhaps you would be willing to schedule some emergency vehicles to come up and help educate the children.” Huh, the goat monster hadn’t asked him. Then again, with the court case and everything else going on currently, he couldn’t blame the guy if he forgot.

“I can ask the Chief if that would be possible. I’m sure we could spare an ambulance and truck.”

“I’ll see about getting teacher volunteers for the dunk tank. I’m sure the students would go crazy over it.” Miss Cindy smiled at the thought.

Marge wrote down in her notebook looking over to Linda. “I take it you’ll be responsible for food vendors as usual?”

“Hold on!” Linda shouted finally finding her voice again. “It verbally attacked me! You all heard it! It’s been recorded!”

“Pretty sure he was just stating facts.” Denzel grinned. “Sit down before you make things worse for yourself.” She looked ready to explode, but ultimately took a seat, her face bright red in embarrassment. She didn’t add anything else to the meeting, instead glaring daggers at Razz the whole time. He couldn’t help but feel smug over shutting up this racist prick. With a smirk you'd only see from a first-grader that got away with stealing the entire cookie jar, he reached to the Center of the table and grabbed two of the naked treats from the container. He handed one to Slim and the two tapped their bars lightly like some sort of victorious toast.

It was the most satisfying feeling he’d had in a long time. Ten times greater than getting a call back from the fire department.

Slipping the bar into his mouth, the first thing that hit was the lemon and powdered sugar. Then the dry crumbling of the food. It tasted… indescribable.

“What exactly is in this recipe?” He couldn’t stop himself from asking. Helen almost seemed excited somebody asked.

“You like? I added only the best vinegar and powdered sugar, but I’d definitely say the most important ingredient is love.” Razz and Slim both stopped eating at that last word.

“Pardon me, but did you say, LOVE?”

“Yes. My kids help me put some into every batch-“ Slim bolted out of his chair and ran for a bathroom, all while Razz’s eyelights flickered out and he dropped the remains of the lemon bar. Linda and Helen both started berating them for being rude, but Razz was too busy not trying to vomit.

“You okay?” Marge leaned over and questioned.

Shit, he was gonna be sick.

“I think that lemon bar just took a few weeks off my life… and I wish that was a joke…”

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

“Bye guys!” Chara waved from the doorframe of their home while Asgore ushered them in. They were still holding a partially eaten chocolate ice cream cone, and Razz was sure they’d be showing it off to their brother.

He hadn’t seen Temmie in a while now that he thought about it.

“Thank you again for doing this.” The goat monster said with a kind smile.

“A-anytime.” Slim grinned sheepishly at the kind words.

“I’m surprised you two seem to be in such high spirits. I know some of the parents are quite racist.”

“I-I don’t think Linda will say much to you next time.” The younger snickered. Razz just rolled his eyelights and shoved his hands in his pockets, all while Asgore’s face went from confused to suspicious.

“Did you do something I should know about?” He looked to Razz directly.

Shrugging the elder gave his answer. “Just used words to put a racist pig in their place. I’m sure Miss Cindy will love sharing her audio recording on Monday.” He wasn’t going to mention the lemon bar incident just yet. Even after the meeting, his soul was feeling a bit queasy.

“Ah yes, she did mention bringing in a recorder to future meetings. I didn’t think she was serious.”

“The results are gold though,” Slim added. Razz elbowed him in the ribs to shut him up, quickly covering the action with a polite bow.

“Have a good evening. Let Toriel know I wish her goodnight.”

The three said their farewells and the brothers headed back to the vehicle, Razz crawling into the passenger seat. He voluntarily gave up his driver's spot after the lemon bar incident, knowing nausea on top of his exhaustion would lead to nothing more than disaster.

Stars he’d never touch a lemon bar as long as he lived.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Slim asked, tapping his phalanges against the steering wheel. “Y-you were nodding off… i-in the meeting.”

“Nodding off?” Razz blinked tiredly.

“Falling asleep.” He elaborated.

Oh. Was that why everything got so fuzzy during Linda’s tirade?

“C-can I check-“

“It’s just from a lack of sleep. The last few nights have been rough.” He said it like they were well-rehearsed lines to a play. Sure it was unheard of for him to get this tired in the past, but things were changing.

His excuses needed to change too. And the sad thing was they were partially valid and true.

Slim seemed nervous about his next question, finally getting it out in more of a whisper. “H-has it been… n-nightmares?”

“... yeah.” Razz nodded slowly. It’s not like he didn’t have nightmares regularly. His body just refused to wake up during them anymore so he’d regularly experience the worst parts. When morning came he’d wake up and never remember them, still feeling just as exhausted as when he first fell asleep.

Another side effect of falling down he supposed.

“You… y-you know you can call me, yeah? I-I’ll come over if they are that bad…” Slim was trying to come up with a solution, but there really wasn’t one. He only visited Razz on weekends or for events like this meeting.

“Papyrus, I’m not calling you at three in the morning over something stupid like nightmares-“

“They aren’t stupid!” He shouted before seeming to get nervous at the volume. “I-I have them too…”

“... I have Lord Hater with me. She helps me through it.”

“N-not enough… if you're so tired you can’t drive…” They didn’t have a chance to continue the conversation. They had finally arrived at his apartment complex.

Thank the stars.

“I suppose this is farewell. Till next time.” Razz held his hand out waiting to get the keys black only for Slim to pocket them. “Hey! I need those for work!”

“I’m staying the night. Remember?” He waited for Razz to react, but he honestly had no idea what Slim was referring to. “T-tomorrow you said you’d meet the Fells. Remember?”

Oh.

Oh shit. Tomorrow was Saturday.

“Y-you aren’t gonna bail right?” He raised a brow bone judgingly. “You promised.”

“I know I know… I won’t ditch like some coward. I shall keep my word.”

“Good.” Slim seemed satisfied, but Razz was just glad they weren’t talking about dreams anymore. They entered the apartment without fanfare, Lord Hater greeting them eagerly as always.

They had decided on peanut butter and banana sandwiches tonight, and Razz was quick to get started with the prep work. Washing his hands and prepping his new-to-him skillet he was sure to summon his blaster before starting, noticing Lord Hater’s peaked interest immediately.

“Oh no you don’t! Unfortunately for you I’ve thought of a solution!” He grabbed the disposable plastic tops for two different pie tins and a roll of duct tape, placing them over the blaster’s sockets and making sure they were both secured down. It looked like an incredibly stupid pair of goggles, but now that damn cat couldn’t crawl into the sockets.

“Ha! Good luck getting around that barrier!” He smiled triumphantly, only to falter at Slim’s hard laughter. The younger was doubled over barely able to contain himself.

“Shut up! You should know that it’s irritating!”

“S-Sorry. It’s just… you haven’t come up with something better?”

“What else am I supposed to do?! Ask the chief for a mask? I’m not even able to see through it properly, and who knows how much that would cost…” he crossed his arms and looked to the ground feeling his cheeks flush a bit with embarrassed.

“Y-you know, I could ask Alphy’s to make something.”

“Alphy’s is a soldier. She’s better at breaking then making things.”

“N-no. I meant Tale Alphys. She’d probably like the challenge-“

“Tale?”

“Yeah. S-she's from the universe with the lazy Sans where everything is happy. Remember Comic?”

“I’ve only met the Fells. I heard of the others through you, that’s it.” He paused, having to think over the implications of his statement. “Wait, you're living in more than the Fell universe?!”

“N-no! I’m just friends with them. They’re super nice.”

“How many alternates do we have for stars sake?!” Slim had to count the ones he knew about in his fingers, which was worse than Razz expected.

“An i-infinite amount? I don’t know… a-are you sure you're alright?”

“... fantastic.” He turned away from the shit show of a conversation and started cooking with a vengeance.

Stupid alternate universes and there stupid Sanses that are better brothers then himself. The thought of what could have been made his soul ache horribly, and the only way to drown it out was through distraction. Slim read his mood and decided not to continue, instead switching the television on and playing with Lord Hater, if only to keep out of his way.

Thankfully the stress didn’t last too long. Within twenty minutes his whole body was emotionally drained. Too much for him to feel anything at the moment.

He put the sandwiches on two plates and shuffled over to the couch, handing one to Slim before plopping down and biting into his own. They didn’t say anything else while they gorged themselves, the peanut butter getting stuck to the roof of Razz’s mouth forcing him to pick it out with his finger. Stars he needed a toothbrush.

But the bathroom was so far away.

At least Slim was having a similar problem. He was picking at his mouth too, one of the side effects of not having tongues. Lord Hater took the chance to attack Razz’s blaster, going for the purple magic eyelight floating behind the clear tins. It worked, somewhat. The thin plastic popped and buckled at her force but didn’t come off with the duct tape. Heh, stupid feline anyway.

He let out a single deadpan laugh, trying to crack his neck in hopes of waking up a bit more. It wasn’t helping. The cat wouldn’t give up her assault, and whatever babble was happening in the television screen was starting to sound distant.

“M-maybe you should go to bed early.” Slim suggested. “I’ve never seen you this tired.” Razz blinked his sockets open, realizing he was starting to fall asleep on the sofa. Not the worst place to do it, but his bed was comfier.

“I blame that horrific desert Helen called a lemon bar.” Razz yawned. The sun had just recently set, but he wasn’t sure if he’d last much longer. “But you make a good point.” He stood up and dissipated his blaster, making the large arduous journey to his bedroom. “Goodnight Papyrus.”

“Goodnight Bro.” He waved him off as Razz shut the door behind him.

“Meow!”

Oh right. The cat.

“Alright already! Geez.” He cracked his door slightly so Lord Hater could enter and exit as she pleased. The feline quickly raced inside and took a seat on the bed, waiting patiently for Razz to get changed and crawl under the covers. He shut his sockets and let his weight sink into the mattress, already feeling his mind slip away into the void of sleep.

With Lord Hater tucked comfortably under his knees, the world faded into black.

XxxxxxxxxxxxX

An outside force woke him up.

It was persistent and wouldn’t stop jostling his arm.

He knew he was having a nightmare, but the details of it became hazy as soon as his mind was forced into some semblance of consciousness. Only a few key images remained.

Metal.

Screaming.

Blood.

Dust.

So, so much dust.

His soul was racing out of control, and it felt like his body was being crushed under a huge weight. He forced his sockets open but no amount of effort would let his eyelights manifest. Nothing else was responding to his commands either. His panic started rising with the dawning realisation.

His body was paralysed.

He needed to move.

He needed air!

Whimpering he tried to do something.

Anything.

Still, his body wasn’t working and it just made the horror worse.

He was a vegetable.

He needed help.

But there was no one to help. If he wanted any he’d need to yell for it, and that was just as difficult as moving.

“... h-h…..”

His voice was so quiet no matter how much he put into it. He wasn’t even sure if the words he tried forcing were audible. If anything it sounded like a sad puff of air or a quiet whine. It was like trying to scream underwater, but the fluid distorted everything too much to understand.

If this continued…

He was going to die.

What was happening to him?!

A secondary harsh jostle and a jolt of outside magic finally forced his bones into compliance.

“W-Wha?!” Razz struggled to get his bearings, a partial bone attack forming over his shoulder and dissipating just as quickly. He blinked his eyelights into existence and clumsily flipped over, seeing Slim standing next to him looking concerned. He had Lord Hater tucked gently under one arm, and a blanket slung over the other shoulder.

“P-Papyrus? Whaddya doin’ here?” He rasped, sitting upright and wiping the sleep from his sockets.

He wasn’t expecting them to be wet. In fact, half his pillow was covered in a damp puddle of tears and sweat, his hands trembling slightly and soul still racing. In the past, a nightmare with this effect would have kept him wide awake for days.

Now he was only half aware and still extremely tired despite the fear and panic racing through his soul.

“Lord Hater came… You were having- I-I mean… I had a bad dream.” Slim whispered. Razz’s mind wasn’t processing whatever he was saying. He tried but the statement just seemed to hit a brick wall. After a long moment of just staring at Slim in pure confusion, the younger finally sighed. “S-scoot over.”

“... why?” Razz blinked.

“I don’t wanna be alone.” Slim started lightly shoving Razz towards the wall, forcing him to the other side of the mattress. His brother laid on top of the covers, using the blanket he dragged in for himself. It was a tight fit given the bed was only a twin, but their lack of muscle and fat did make it considerably easier. Razz flipped his pillow over so neither was lying directly on the wet stains. There wasn’t room for another pillow so they would need to share, or Slim could go without. His own was pretty gross at this point. Regardless he laid his head on the far end of it trying to leave some room, his sockets sliding closed as he tried steadying his soul through deep, rhythmic breaths.

In. Hold. Out. Hold. In. Hold. Out. Hold-

“W-what were you dreaming about?” Slim whispered much to Razz’s annoyance.

“Mmmmm… Don’t remember…” He slurred. “Somethin’ bout…” images flashed through his mind, painful to think of but far too frightening to forget. A bright baren cage with the dust of his former bunkmate on the floor. His opponent stalking and ready to strike. How big the monster before him was. The judgmental eyes of those watching.

His father’s included.

But he hadn’t earned the right to call him that yet. Not until one of the monsters in that cage was dead, and he never wanted to hurt anyone.

“... M-my… my first kill.” He knew that’s what it was about. Not many things would make his soul react in such an extreme way. Stars, just saying it was painful, and he wasn’t sure why he let that slip out of all things. He still blamed that lemon bar from earlier.

“Oh.” Slim mumbled. It took a moment to register the sadness in his voice. Or perhaps worry? Didn’t he say he had a nightmare too? He should probably ask.

“What ‘bout you?”

“Huh?”

“What was your nightmare?”

“Oh…The Lab.” He sounded almost dismissive like it wasn’t important. Razz just hummed and didn’t say anything else. The Lab was a terrible place that they both absolutely hated. That’s where his first kill happened too. No further explanation was needed.

They didn’t speak after that, or move around much for that matter. The younger stayed still laying on his back, like he was trying to take up as little room as possible. Meanwhile Razz became a tighter ball. He just wanted to shrink into himself and hide, and the fetal position was as close as his body would allow.

Lord Hater decided now was a good time to make herself comfortable, hopping back onto the bed and wedging herself between Razz’s chest and the wall.

Now he was sandwiched between the two, but he honestly couldn’t care less. It was oddly calming having the two weights so close to him. He felt… guarded? Safe? His mind was having trouble coming up with the right word choice. Within a few minutes his mind had sunk back into the inky darkness.

A dreamless darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought about holding off posting until my birthday next week, but I decided four days was too long to wait XP
> 
> I hate getting old mhhlkhh.
> 
> PTA hilarity! And a cover image at the end? Yes!
> 
> As much as I love those classic Sans dream sequences where he wakes up attacking and needs some heavy comforting, it was feeling a little overdone and unrealistic? Hard for me to explain, but I hope the more subdued reaction they both had came across alright. Slim knows Razz won’t admit to anything outright.
> 
> Leave a comment if you enjoyed! It’s the fuel that keeps me writing this insanity.


	9. I Know it Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razz has his much anticipated meeting with the Fell brothers.
> 
> He wished he would have run before it ever started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started this thing, I figured it might be five chapters max. Then you guys showed me so much love and support on this it gave me ideas and inspiration for expanding the work far beyond the original plan, and for that I am grateful. Thank you all so much for being awesome readers!
> 
> I really love all of you guys and your continued support. Thank you all for helping this story expand to the monstrosity it is becoming <3

When he finally awoke the next morning, there were three things he immediately noticed. 

First was how rested he felt. Granted he was still tired overall, but his body hadn’t been this awake in weeks. 

The second was the fuzz taking up his nasal cavity given Lord Hater’s new sleeping spot, right in front of his face.

Lastly, was the arm flopped across his shoulder, the owner snoring lightly in his sleep. Slim had rolled about in the night, now taking up two-thirds of the bed and partially hugging Razz.

Honestly this brought up memories, way back when Slim came into his room after a particularly bad nightmare. He even flopped around in his sleep just like he was now, only he took up a lot less space. Part of him wanted to lay there for a few more hours. Sadly that really wasn’t a good possibility. He didn’t want to waste this increase in energy by lounging about, and they did have plans for the day, as much as Razz hated the prospect.

The Fells would probably hunt him down if they didn’t show up, claiming Razz must have killed Slim or something. That was one fiasco he wanted no part in.

“Pap. Wake up.” He elbowed Slim lightly, the other letting out an annoyed groan and tightening his grip a bit.

“Seriously Papyrus, wake up!” Razz elbowed him in the rib cage a bit harder, getting Slim to shoot up immediately with a confused gasp.

“W-what is it?” He glanced around the room not seeing an obvious threat. 

“It’s morning, and I couldn’t get to my phone in our previous positions.” 

“O-oh.” He seemed to have forgotten where he was, face flushing a bit in realization. “Sorry… I-I’ll leave you be then.” Slim crawled off the bed quickly and headed for the door before Razz could say anything else. It was a strange reaction, but he had a feeling Slim expected repercussions for comforting him last night.

“Hopefully that won’t happen again.” Razz grumbled, sitting up despite Lord Hater’s clear displeasure.

The next part of his morning was spent showering and stripping the sweat covered bed sheets. All in hopes of putting off the inevitable.

…

He ran out of things to put it off with. 

With a pit of dread in his chest, Razz threw on some dark jeans, a black long sleeve shirt and combat boots, just in case the meeting turned violent. He didn’t want to fight in something he wasn’t comfortable moving in. He even tried covering a bit of his mouth with his bandana, attempting to hide some of the more obvious signs of degradation around his chin. He couldn’t lose face around them after all. 

“You coming?” Slim actually knocked on his door trying to get him moving.

“Coming.” He assured, turning away from his mirror and finally stepping into the hallway. To his surprise Slim had some water on boil for Razz’s morning tea, and had even fed Lord Hater.

“You boiled water without lighting it on fire. I’m mildly impressed.” Razz mused.

“I’m not completely hopeless.” Slim smiled sincerely. Razz just shook his head and poured himself some green tea, realizing it was the last bag in his cupboard. He would need to stock up on more packets pretty soon. Maybe after the cookout.

If he survived the cookout. 

“S-so… about last night…” Slim stammered, clearly nervous about the subject.

“What about it?” Razz questioned taking a seat.

“S-ince you’ve been having trouble with nightmares… M-maybe it would help to talk about them.” Slim mumbled his suggestion. Razz looked up at him with a raised brow bone. The younger shrugged. “I-I’ve found that telling someone about my issues helped with nightmares. Don’t you tell your therapist those things?” Razz looked back to his mug with a scowl. He went to someone shortly after their big blowup fight. He knew he had to get himself under control, and it did help a little. However, he never felt at ease with them to the point of sharing that kind of personal information. They were human, and he was quick to distrust them after the racist treatment he had gotten from nearly everyone he met.

He hadn’t been back to that place in at least a year.

“You could tell me… i-if you want.” Slim offered. “I-it really does help, and I won’t tell anyone.” Razz had to think about his statement. He was at least six years older than Slim, and the time he spent with him in childhood was only a year before he was sent back to The Lab. It wasn’t until adopting, or, ‘collaring’ his little brother once Razz turned eighteen that they became glued at the hip… at least until their fighting started. Slim really knew little to nothing about his formative years. The only one that knew was Gaster, and the few others involved with him at The Lab. Undyne hadn’t even started working there yet…

“Bro, y-you don’t have to-“

“Five.” He stated flatly. Slim sat up in surprise.

“W-what?”

“The dream I had the other night. I was about five years old when I made my first kill.”

“T-that’s younger than I was…” Slim murmured. Razz couldn’t help but chuckle.

“If I remember right, your stats were too low to be considered for trials in that regard, after the others in your experiment group all dusted.” He sipped his tea trying to think back to their shared past. “You didn’t kill until fourteen, yes?”

“T-thirteen. It was on a scouting mission with you, remember?” Slim shook his head trying to get back on topic. “B-but they made you kill at five years old. What happened?” Razz shrugged, taking a second to collect his thoughts.

“They wanted an army capable of matching a human’s power in combat, so of course my entire experiment group was put into violent situations at an early age. Sucks for them, I’m the only one that survived.” He set his mug down when Lord Hater started scratching at his pant leg, picking her up and holding her gently. “They threw three of us in there against some dog monster. I didn’t want to fight, I was naive enough to think I could befriend that monster like I had my cellmates… then they were dusted, and that thing was charging at me…” Razz’s soul started pulsing faster at the memory. His first kill had such an impact in him, it was something he’d never forget. 

No matter how much he wanted to.

“I… I was scared, and I reacted on instinct... my magic was a nice bright blue color back then… after that fight it turned purple... I remember hating it...” He remembered getting knocked around the arena like he was some sort of chew toy. His pleading and begging hadn’t done anything, and that kill was the event that shattered his early world view on pacifism. Despite how horrible the scientists were to him, or how cold Captain Gaster was, he had believed they could change. He didn’t know what gave him that idea, but he was certain he never wanted to hurt anyone like the scientists had hurt him.

Then he stabbed that dog monster through the throat so he could keep living. 

His magic corrupted after that fight.

He recalled sitting alone in the corner of his cell after, crying for hours over his cellmate, the monster he killed, and his hatred for that ugly purple his soul became. 

Lord Hater was picking up on his distress, standing on her hind legs trying to lick his face. Slim was silent. It was clear he didn’t have anything to say. 

What could he say to that?

He just watched him carefully, judgingly, shocked. It was too much for Razz to take.

He should never have opened up.

“We should head to the meet-up point. It’s better to be early rather then late.” Placing Lord Hater on the ground he brushed the orange fur off his pants.

“Sans-“

“This was a mistake.” He stood up and head for his room to cool down. His soul was feeling very uneasy and he needed to do some breathing exercises or pace around or something, just for a few minutes. Slim let him go, something he was very grateful for. Shutting the door he leaned against the wall and went through his usual rhythmic count.

In. Hold. Out. Hold. Over and over again.

There, much better.

But could he really look his brother in the face again after that?

With a frustrated groan he clawed at his temples.

Stupid stupid STUPID!

“What the hell is wrong with me?” He couldn’t help but voicing the thought. Maybe being open was a good way for Slim to cope, but Razz didn’t like it. He had to show his weakness to do it, and he didn’t want anyone to see him as such.

Now his brother probably thought he was weak.

Stars dammit.

By the time he finally stepped out, Slim already had his shoes on and was stroking Lord Hater’s back. He looked up as soon as Razz opened the closet and slipped his new aviator jacket on. 

He didn’t want to be exposed right now. 

Slim stammered a bit while Razz went around the kitchen gathering the supplies he agreed to bring for their little cookout. A cooler, some gallon jugs of store bought tea, and fruit.

He was going to mix it into a fruit salad the previous evening, but he was so tired that it just slipped his mind.

He’d mix them up when they got there.

“Sans…” Slim finally worked up the nerve to get his words out. “I-I just wanted to say… thank you, f-for trusting me with that.” Razz’s sockets went wide at the statement. That’s… not what he was expecting to hear. He didn’t even know what to say to that, so he didn’t respond.

The two silently climbed into his vehicle and drove to the destination spot. A little used pavilion midway up Mount Ebott, too far for most human hikers to care about using, and much less so after the myths of monsters in the mountain suddenly became reality. It even had an old metal grill hammered into the ground, perfect for them to use. More importantly, it was neutral territory far away from potential prying eyes. 

Razz started wiping the dusty picnic tables down with some sanitary wipes while Slim texted the Fells.

“I’m going to pick them up at the machine. It will only be a few minutes.”

“Sure.” Razz motioned for him to leave. He vanished in a shortcut, giving Razz a chance to start on lighting the charcoal and laying out the plates and drinks.

If nothing else he could try to mentally prepare himself for the encounter. He honestly had no idea how this was going to go. Razz hadn’t seen them since that first disaster of a meeting, when Slim accidentally sent them both through that stray shortcut. He and Fell destroyed half of their house in that battle, all while Slim and Red managed to talk things out despite Razz’s refusal to listen. He’s pretty sure that solidified their view of him being a serial abuser and screwed in the head.

Well, that second part was true anyway.

Hell, the abuser thing had some merit too, he just hadn’t realized it at the time. 

Now he did.

“Bro.” Razz jumped, not even noticing Slim’s approach. Turning he saw what he’d dreaded for weeks.

Red was in the same outfit he remembered from all those years ago. Heavy black jacket with off-white fur around the hood, a red sweater and track shorts. The only thing missing was that spiked collar he wore Underground. Fell was dressed very differently. His armour was replaced with a white crop top and black leather jacket. He still wore red boots and a tattered red scarf, but for the most part he just looked off.

That’s probably how Slim felt when Razz stopped wearing armor.

“Bro, you remember Red and Fell, yeah?”

“... I do.” His response was guarded. He still couldn’t stand how weird this felt. He was basically talking to his own warped reflection, and it gave him a sense of anxiety, like they were going to try replacing him or something.

Fell was the first one to approach. His energy was guarded as well, and it was clear by the intent radiation from his soul that he was wary of him. Not necessarily aggressive, just making his distrust very clear. He looked Razz over critically before firmly offering out a gloved hand.

“I suppose we should reintroduce ourselves. That might make this a little easier. My name is Papyrus, but you may call me Fell.”

“Sans.” He took his arm and shook it once.

“And I’m also Sans. It’s a pleasure ta meet ya.” He sounded as sarcastic as Razz remembered. With his stupid grin and stupid voice and stupid face just like his own. “Though everyone seems ta call me Red. Can’t imagine why.” He flashed his scarlet eyelight momentarily, a clear warning for him to behave. 

His intent was far more aggressive.

“That means we should call ya… Purple? Violet? Plum? Lilac?” Razz narrowed his sockets in annoyance, but Red just wanted to egg him on. “Periwinkle!”

“Enough!” Fell slapped him upside the head, hard enough to get a few mumbled curses in response. “We talked about this. Behave.”

“Whatever! Asshole…” Red took a seat to mope a bit, Razz unable to stop a satisfied grin from crossing his features. Slim already told him the nickname he was designated with years ago. He didn’t care much for Razz. He did admit it was better than being called Red or Blue, but he would rather the others call him by the name he was given originally.

The name he earned.

A paper wrapped package was suddenly shoved into his face by Fell.

“What’s this?”

“A peace offering.” Was his simple answer. “I'll get started on the Frankfurter.” Fell decided heading over to check on the charcoal. Razz tore the paper away in the meantime, finding a black harness and leash for some sort of small animal.

“Again, what is this?”

“A cat harness. Felines love to explore, so I would recommend training yours how to walk on one.”

“Like a dog?”

“Basically, like a dog.” Fell placed some tin foil over the barbecue wiring.

”Uhh... thanks.” Razz eventually managed. The other just waved him off, setting five sausages on the foil and flipping them with tongs. “Slim, get the fruit salad ready.” He ordered. Razz paused at the words.

“I… I forgot to mix it up…” Stars, how embarrassing. He was usually the one who remembered even the tiniest details, so this was an especially bad slip for him. Was his memory really failing this badly?

The Fells seemed a bit surprised by the words. Razz assumed Slim had told them about him before, and this likely wasn’t what they were briefed on.

“Y-you were really tired yesterday.” The younger stammered in his defense, seeing the weird looks the Fells were giving him.

“Right.” Fell eventually nodded. “Why don’t you sit down for now. There isn’t much room around the grill for more than a few monsters. Slim?”

“C-coming.” Slim walked past to catch up with Fell, giving him a reassuring smile on the way.

Now his only options were to stand awkwardly five feet away from the grill, or sit across from Red.

Stars damnit…

Finally stealing his nerves he took a seat at the farthest corner of the bench, not happy to see that devious smirk Red was giving him. 

“So-“

“Don’t!” Fell shouted much to Red’s annoyance.

“I didn’t say nothin’!”

“Because I stopped you! Now behave, or I will literally shove your jacket so far up your ass you’ll be able to taste it!”

“Stupid Boss being a stupid bastard…” Red mumbled under his breath before remembering Razz was watching him. “Do ya mind?!” 

“I do, but to keep the peace I’ll stay quiet.” That got a snarl in response. He looked like he wanted to strangle him, but a sidelong glare from Fell made him reconsider.

“Soooo… ya seen any movies lately?” Red grumbled instead. 

Stars, this was going to take forever.

“Not any new ones,” was his simple answer. He didn’t trust this skeleton to share more details, though he was certain Slim had told him much more than that already. 

“Do ya have any hobbies at least? Ya can’t be this borin’. Like maybe… cars? Please tell me you’re at least a car guy.”

Razz just motioned to his piece of junk Civic covered in rust damage. 

Red seemed frustrated and done trying to talk already. “... whatever. If you’re gonna be like this, I could ‘car’ less what ya have ta say.” 

Razz almost said something about the pun, but Red has stopped paying attention to him. The two fell into a long state of awkward silence, Red not bothering with any more jokes. Eventually he pulled his phone out to play some games like a rude asshole. 

Razz would have to lead any conversation they had from here. He really didn’t want to though.

But this was for Slim. He could do this for his brother. Letting out a long, frustrated sigh he growled out an answer.

“I like… space and rocket ships. Not that I’ve looked into them much recently.” 

Red, apparently, wasn’t expecting an answer.

“Really?”

“Yes really! I’m surprised you bothered asking. I’m sure my brother had told you all about me by now.”

“Actually-“

The food is ready!” Fell announced turning away from the grill.

Thank Toriel that was over.

Razz stood up quickly to grab a plate, not looking Red in the sockets again. He didn’t like talking to himself. Even if it was a different version of himself, he still saw so much that he hated.

He got enough of that looking in the mirror every morning. 

Soon the four were seated and eating quietly, Red and Fell sitting with each other on one side while Slim and Razz took the other. The Fells bickered quietly about something momentarily, Razz barely able to catch some of the dialogue.

“... I don’t wanna! Ya heard how it turned out last time!...”

“You barely even tried!”

“He’s just gonna be a dick!”

“SANS!”

“Fine! Holy Asgore you’re a pain in my ass.” Red cursed and turned to look back at Razz.

“So, what have ya been up ta recently?” Red tried starting off the conversation again without getting slapped a second time.

“Not too much.” Razz shrugged. That was a broad question that would take a long time to answer. Red looked over to Fell exasperated. The edgy skeleton waved him off.

“Are you still working in delivery? If I recall that was your previous profession.” 

“No, I actually work at the fire department now.”

“Oh? Are you a secretary or-“

“Part-time fireman.”

“I see.” Fell took a bite of his fruit and sat back. “I don’t believe I’ve met any versions of ourselves in firefighting.” So that was one thing completely unique to Razz. It was a small victory he’d be proud of, but that also made him wonder… 

“What do you two do for a living?” He asked, unable to hide his curiosity.

“I am a police officer for the Mount Ebbott department. My Undyne and I are partners.” Fell stated rather proudly. His voice lowered a bit when he looked over to Red. “My brother is a car mechanic.”

“Hey now, give me some credit. I’m looking at getting back into mechanical engineering.”

“You’re an engineer?” Razz blinked, he had a hard time believing it. Red snickered nonchalantly.

“Believe it or not, I played a big role in the development of The Core back in my world. Engineering was just my favorite area in science, though I'm skilled in others too.”

“T-their Gaster was the Royal Scientist.” Slim whispered. That gave Razz more context, but that still didn’t make him feel any better.

“I see… and these ‘Tale’ worlds. Was their Gaster a scientist too?”

“In the Undertale dimension he was. In the Underswap one he was the Guard Captain, same as yours.” Fell answered.

“What’s Comic even doin’ now?” Red wondered. “I haven’t seen him or Rus in a few months.”

“He’s been teaching physics at the local university. You'd know that if you paid attention!” Fell rolled his eyelights in annoyance.

“He teaches physics? He’s a scientist too?” Razz blinked feeling his metaphorical stomach dropping. “And… what about the Underswap dimension?”

“I think Stretch was applyin’ for positions at a car manufacturer? Not sure what for though.” Red shrugged.

“Really Red? Really?” Fell didn’t hide his annoyance. “He was applying for an engineering role in car design. He’s actually smart when he’s not being a lazy dumbass.” 

“Oh yeah. Glad one of us it good for somethin’.”

“Red, I swear to Asgore I will end you!”

The two went back and forth a bit, Razz just watching silently. He wondered how differently things could have been. If Razz had taught his brother the most basic of school education at a young age, would he be confident and self assured like Fell? Unlikely, since Razz resembled him better in personality, but perhaps Red would be a more accurate comparison. They were both low energy and lazy, and Red had far more of an education. Supposedly he was a scientist, which he just learned was a trend with the other brother pairs. Comic of the Undertale dimension was a physicist, and even Stretch from Underswap was a talented engineer.

Would Slim have pursued science too? He wasn’t sure given the specifics of their world. Both he and Slim were ‘born’ in The Lab, a carryover across many dimensions apparently. Unlike in Underswap though, his Undyne was a crazy ass doctor that didn’t see her living experiments as fellow monsters. Even after he got his little brother out of that hell hole, he would have never let him near that place again, regardless of his interest in it.

Where would his curiosity have taken him then? Perhaps he could have assigned Slim a real position in the Royal Guard, potentially in a log keeping or secretary role. Though he wasn’t even sure if Slim liked books currently-

“-earth ta asshole!”

Razz jolted at Red waving a hand two inches from his face. 

“W-what?!” He snarled back. Red just looked at him incredulously.

“Seriously? You’ve been starin’ at me for the past five minutes and ignored everyone tryin’ ta talk ta ya, and ya have an issue with me?” It took him a moment to realize the conversation had completely stopped. Fell and Slim were both staring at him, his brother looking more concerned than anything else. 

His face flushed a bit in embarrassment. He hadn’t realized how obvious he was being. 

Red actually looked put off by the odd behavior. “You’re not lookin’ too good pal. Maybe ya should-“

“I’m fine.” Razz cut him off before he could continue. 

Then it happened.

The unmistakable feeling of his stats being checked filled his soul with rage. Without even thinking he picked the sausage off his plate and struck Red straight in the socket.

“HOW DARE YOU!” He snarled. Red just threw the food on the ground and stood up, equally mad.

“The hell was that for-“

“You know exactly what you did!” They were in each other's faces now, mere inches from one another. Fell stood up flashing his socket in warning.

“Would you two sit down already! Did you forget why we're here-“

“Stay outta this Boss! I’ve had somethin’ ta get off my chest for a while now.” He grabbed Razz by the bandana and pulled him in till their nasal passages were practically touching.

“Listen ya waste a space! Ya may have convinced those two you're tryin’ ta change, but I know myself better than that! When Sanes change its for the worse. I won’t let ya hurt him again-“

Razz’s fist collided with the other’s eye socket, Red snarling and knocking him back from the table. His skull collided with the dirt. His socket echoed with a loud crack, and everything flashed white.

“RED!” Fell's voice echoed through his skull. The weight of his doppleganger was swiftly removed, the shadow of Slim’s form quickly taking over his vision.

“Sans?! Are you alright?” He felt that familiar sensation.

His brother was starting to perform a stat check.

“NO!”

Encasing the younger’s soul in blue he threw him across the pavilion, quickly summoning a jagged bone wall between them. He staggered to his feet prepared for combat, despite the massive amount of marrow dripping down the side of his forehead now flooding his left socket. 

Fell was holding Red by the collar, whatever tirade he was on stopping once Slim was thrown.

Shit shit shit shit SHIT!

“S-Sans?! What was that for?!”

He needed an excuse and he needed one fast!

“Y-you’re the one that said no stat checks without permission! And what just happened? You and Asswipe both tried to check me within a three minute period! The hell was that about?!” 

That would have to do.

Under normal circumstances he wouldn’t have cared. Hell, Slim wanted the rule in place since he was tired of Razz checking him constantly due to his lower HP. Now it was Razz’s turn to lash out about it, only to hide how damaged he actually was. He just prayed that neither of them had a chance to view his numbers or flavor text.

Based on their reactions, he was pretty sure they hadn’t. Slim’s expression was somewhere between confusion, anger and guilt. Similar to how Razz himself was feeling.

“Asswipe?! Listen up ya sloppy seconds piece of shit-“ Razz didn’t let Red finish, erecting several blue bones through both him and Fell’s bodies. The other Papyrus didn’t say or do anything to him, not even trying a stat check himself. He just observed Razz very carefully, which was equally as bad. Slim didn’t notice.

“B-but your head is bleeding everywhere! I had to-“

“You didn’t have to do shit and you know it! And you know what else?! I should never have agreed to this!” He turned and stomped off to his car.

“W-wait!” Slim teleported to be right beside him, walking fast trying and keep up “I-I’m Sorry! I shouldn’t have done that! I’m sure Red-“

He didn’t let him finish, slamming his car door and giving Slim a death glare. It was the meanest look he could manage, and seeing his brother recoil made his soul sink further. Thankfully the car started on the first key turn, Razz peeling away from them as fast as possible. They didn’t pursue, just watching as his vehicle disappeared behind the shrubbery and trees. 

He didn’t stop driving, his soul pulsing out of control and fear taking over every bone in his body. At one point he had to stop before he lost complete control of the vehicle. His arms were shaking uncontrollable and he couldn’t get any part of himself to respond properly. He couldn’t even bring himself to do his breathing exercises. 

“DAMNIT!”

The scream ripped out of his throat before he could stop it. His soul felt like it was crumbling and the shaking was making it chip faster. He was panicking, and he couldn’t get it to stop.

“J-just wait it out… t-try to breath- GAH!” His entire frame curled over the steering wheel in pain. 

It was bad.

It was REALLY bad.

He didn’t have Slim to save him this time, or Lord Hater to help bring him down.

He was stuck until his soul eventually settled into a slightly slower rhythm. 

Now he was just tired and upset, but he felt like returning to the apartment was a bad idea for now. Slim would definitely be waiting for him there, and he didn’t have the energy to deal with that right now. Alphys wasn’t the best option either, given that she lived with the fish bitch and she’d definitely want to check his condition. Maybe even force him onto the damn DT treatment.

That was also the second place Slim would look.

Hopefully Toriel wouldn't mind if he crashed for a night… And maybe got his wound patched up with some healing magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have finally updated this story to be part of a series, so if you’d like to read other stories of mine that are directly related to this one you all can check them out.
> 
> We get a small peak into Razz’s upbringing! I didn't want full flasback since that would take away from the present. Maybe one day ill make a story that actually goes into detail if his past. We shall see.
> 
> Sadly the Fells don’t get a chance to really shine here, given the story is entirely through Razz’s POV. They get a lot more room for banter and stuff in my other works, and hopefully I can have more fun with them later. But here I think I made their opinions of him very clear.
> 
> Leave a comment if you enjoyed! It's the fuel that helps continue this madness.


	10. Close Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razz seeks assistance from Asgore for his recent head injury, only for his body to nearly fail.
> 
> The dynamic has shifted, and he isn’t sure how to handle it.

It took him a few minutes to work up the energy to leave his car. 

He was still bleeding marrow all over the interior, but all the energy he had from earlier that morning was completely gone. He felt more drained than he had yesterday, and that was really saying something.

“Come on Sans, the house is only twenty steps away. Just get up and go…” 

Yet his legs refused to move. They felt so heavy, and the walk seemed ten miles long. Just thinking about it made him groggy.

Sighing, he looked at the older two story farmhouse that Asgore, Chara and Toriel called home. It was quant with plenty of trees and flowers spread around the property in well tended flowerbeds. At one point in time he wanted a home similar to this one, only with a log cabin exterior like his old house Underground, a nice fireplace, spacious bedrooms, a yard bordering the woods away from everyone he hated, and a well stocked kitchen so he could experiment with all sorts of recipes. He even wanted a telescope, and a nice patio for him to set it up on. Hell, he’d settle for a balcony or even the rooftop.

Of course, in his current condition, that was all a pipe dream that wasn’t even close to fruition.

There wasn’t a point in dreaming anymore.

…

Stars he was so tired.

“One… two… three.” He forced his seatbelt off and pushed the car door open. It was a tremendous effort for him, but that was half of the struggle over and done with. Staggering to his feet Razz started the arduous task of getting to the front door. 

He could do this.

Ignore the screaming in his legs, the continued ache in his soul. There was only one task for him to complete now.

Reach the door.

Just five more steps.

Four more!

Three!

Two-

His foot caught on the final stoop of the front porch, pitching him face-first into the doorway with a loud bang.

…

Ow.

He was literally seeing stars swimming in his vision, and it took a moment for the full pain of that collision to sink in. 

“Unnn…. dammit….” He shakily hissed and curled up on his side in agony. Now he was bleeding more heavily than before, and he was starting to feel very light headed.

Heavy footfall on the other side of the door indicated someone was coming, but he wasn’t able to get up in time. The door creaked open, and the white fuzzy feet of a goat monster stood mere inches from his head.

“Sans? What happened?” It was Asgore's voice.

“M-my apologies.” He sat up trying to hold in another long hiss. “I-I came to see Toriel, but I… failed to clear the porch steps.”

“So you fell and hit your head on my door?”

“.... yes.” Razz didn’t like it put that way. It made him sound like a stupid clutz. 

“Can you stand up?”

“Of course!” Razz scurried to his knees, everything swaying from one side to the other. Strong hands steadied his shoulders before he fell over again. “I-I’m fine… once your porch stops spinning… I’ll be fine…” 

Asgore didn’t immediately respond to that, instead letting out a tired sigh.

“Come inside now. I’ll get you patched up. I am afraid Toriel and Chara are out shopping, but I shall see what I can do in the meantime.” He helped the skeleton stand upright, leading him to the kitchen so he wouldn’t drip marrow on the carpet. “Take a seat. I’m going to get started.”

“Thanks.” Razz sighed happy to get off his feet. That whole walk was exhausting. The goat monster took his marrow covered jacket and set it near the laundry room, coming back with a bowl of water and clean toweled. Carefully he wiped away the marrow, getting a better look at the wound, humming thoughtfully at his findings.

“This looks like more than just hitting your head on the door.” He raised a brow suspiciously.

“Y-yeah well… that asshole started it- AHH!” He winced when Asgore brushed a particularly sensitive crack. The goat monster just gave him a stern glare.

“You’re actively picking fights, and in your current condition no less? That is extremely foolish of you. No wonder you’re so exhausted.”

“What do you mean?” He blinked trying to stay awake.

“Unnecessary stress will cause your condition to worsen faster. You should know better than to seek situations like that.”

“Normally I wouldn’t...” but he had his brother to think about. “I… honestly haven’t been thinking like myself recently.” The skeleton mumbled, though Asgore caught every word. He stared at Razz expecting more of an explanation. “I’ve been… forgetting things. I-I’m usually really good with remembering faces, names, small details… but things have been slipping through the cracks. I can’t think of a better way to describe it.”

The boss monster sat back thoughtfully, eventually conjuring his healing magic and getting to work on his cracked skull.

Razz needed to change the subject before he got chewed out even worse.

“By the way, have you made any headway on the court case? I hate to admit it, but the sooner I can finish the whole witness bullshit, the better.”

“... the date has been set for March.”

“They’re making us wait seven months? That’s ridiculous.”

“The city tried to postpone the case a full year, but thankfully we managed to move it up. The sooner we can hold the racist authority figures accountable, the better.” Asgore seemed very set on going forward with this. It was admirable at the very least, that he still had such lofty future goals.

At this rate, however, he wasn’t sure if he would last seven months

Razz couldn’t help a dry humorous laugh from escaping his mouth, followed by a massive yawn.

Asgore thought his words over carefully before continuing.

“Sans, I believe it’s best if you withdraw from the court case.”

“What?! You and Toriel were the ones that wanted me to join it! You even came to my house to ask!” Razz was honestly a bit miffed by the whole thing, but Asgore wasn’t backing down.

“You shouldn’t be putting yourself through more stress then necessary, and I fear more for your health than participation. What does your brother think?” Razz paused and looked away. He had trouble lying to his monarchs, even the one he hadn’t met until right before the barrier was broken. Asgore wasn’t pleased. “You’ve known for months yet you haven’t informed him yet?”

“I-I… it’s better for everyone if he doesn’t know!”

“Why?”

“That’s none of your business!”

Asgore took personal offense to that. 

“How do you think he will respond when you suddenly fall down without warning?! Or when your condition deteriorates to the point you can’t hide it anymore? Knowing that you never told him, everything coming down at once like a horrible world crushing weight? That you didn't pursue DT treatment while you were early in the process? Do you truly think that’s fair?”

Just hearing those words made his soul break more and more, but he already knew the outcome.

Slim would be fine. He found a family that would help him move on.

Hell, he may not realize Razz had even died.

“Sans?” Asgore’s voice has dropped from angered to guilty. “I apologize, I didn’t mean to stress you-“

“I’m not stressed!” Razz shouted ignoring the throbbing in both his head and chest. ”I know how my brother is, and I know this is the best course! I need to fix things with him before I fall, and… and I know if we have to deal with my health too I’ll never be able to do it before… b-before…”

His train of thought had suddenly been derailed. He knew he was talking about Slim, something about time. His time was running out, and he needed to fix things?

Right! He needed to fix things. There was a limited amount of time to fix things.

He still had to fix things.

“My friend, please try to breathe. You’re not well.” Asgore was rubbing his shoulder rhythmically trying to steady him. Razz hadn’t realized how shakey he currently was.

Shakily he started his breathing exercises.

In. Hold. Out. Hold. In. Hold. Out. Hold.

Over and over until his body wasn’t on the verge of rattling to pieces anymore.

Stars how embarrassing

“Sorry…” His head fell into his trembling hands. He couldn’t believe how fast he was deteriorating.

There was a moment of silence while Razz steadied himself, the boss monster watching thoughtfully.

“... actually… there might be a way for me to help you.” Asgore mumbled. He went over to the cabinets and pulled out a bag of coffee beans, an old crucible, and a few more things Razz couldn’t see since the other’s massive frame obstructed his view. Too curious at the green and indigo magic glow coming from the counter, Razz couldn’t stop from asking.

“What… are you doing exactly?” He had to put way more effort into speaking that time. All of a sudden, he was feeling extremely weak.

“I am infusing these coffee beans with my healing magic. Since it now contains the magical properties of a boss monster, I believe it will help with your weariness issues, for a while at least. Perhaps give you a little longer on this earth, though I cannot say for certain.”

Wait, Asgore was trying to give him more time? That truly wasn’t something he had expected, and Razz was at a loss. This was… one of the kindest things he had ever been offered… out of nowhere.

“I… don’t know what to say.” He finally mumbled. Just the prospect made him feel warm and fuzzy all of a sudden. The world was starting to swim too, blurring with a bright halo around everything. Asgore practically looked like an Angel.

A big…. fluffy…

“Sans?”

He tried to perk his head up at the question, but nothing was responding to his commands. Asgore’s voice was hazy and distant, and no matter how hard he tried to produce a single sound, nothing came out.

“Sans? Sans!” Suddenly Asgore’s face was directly in front of his own, shaking his upper body trying to snap him out of it.

He felt oddly cold, and tingly.

His body wasn’t even registering the firm grip around his shoulders, and he knew he should be freaking out about it.

He was just too tired to care.

“Sans!”

Another shout echoing further from his ears.

Heh, ears.

He didn’t have those.

“Sans! Don’t make me do this!”

“I need you to say you're okay with this! Please say something!”

Wait.

What was the fluffy guy saying again?

“Angel forgive me…”

That was the last thing he heard before his mind fell below the surface, sinking further into a sea of darkness.

It was cold.

Peaceful.

It literally felt like he had fallen into a massive body of water, and now the currents were slowly pulling him towards the bottom. The deeper he sank, the further away memory, rational thoughts, and emotion attachments seemed.

Looking up he could see light filtering down upon him, but as he sank the light dimmed more and more until it was nothing more than a distant weak star. The only other source of light was from the dimming soul pulsing in his chest, its traditional medium orchid hue losing all saturation.

Was he dying?

Why was he dying?

He couldn’t die yet, right?

There were things he needed to do.

Important things.

…

It was just really hard to remember them right now.

…

Maybe they weren’t that important after all.

… 

Something snaked down from the distant star materializing in a sudden flash of sensation. It wrapped around his own inverted heart and squeezed, stopping his descent into the deep. It didn’t stop, continuing to tangle itself around and between his rib cage, through his mouth, sockets, and even his ulna and radius.

For a moment, he just stayed suspended in place only thanks to this foreign thread.

He wasn’t sure what to do currently. His arms wouldn’t respond to him, so he couldn’t even grab at the string holding him hostage.

It was odd, foreign, and sent a sudden shock through his entire being. Everything flashed at the sudden influx of foreign energy, accompanied by images he’d never seen prior.

Villages burning. 

Monsters being herded into deep dark tunnels. 

Encountering children he had never seen before, the immense grief when they each decided to leave. It was like losing his children all over again-

Wait.

He didn’t have children-

The thread pulled taught, nearly crushing his body in the process. He tried to cry out but nothing happened. Instead he was rapidly yanked towards the light. Razz didn’t have time to think if he even wanted to return to it. 

A sudden bright flash overwhelmed his senses.

Then nothing.

XxxxxxxxxX

When Razz awoke next it was in an odd smelling bed and an unfamiliar room. He knew the scent on the covers and pillow. It belonged to the Dreemurrs and the floral laundry detergent they prefered. 

There were two more things that drew his attention next.

First was the fact he’d been stripped down to his boxers.

Second was the large female goat monster seated in the chair next to him, reading a book to keep herself occupied.

“Q-Queen Toriel?” His voice was stronger then it had been earlier. In fact, his whole body was feeling better. 

Better than it had in months. 

“Good to see you awake, my friend.” She smiled kindly, but there was an edge of sadness behind it.

“I-I don’t understand… What happened? W-where are my pants?” She couldn’t help but chuckle at his second question, much to his annoyance.

“I apologize, but monster dust is horrible to remove from denim, in case the worst happened that is. Thankfully for us, that hasn’t come to pass.” Her smile fell and she looked more tired than anything. “Well, for the time being at least.”

Razz tested his fingers and toes, realizing they were all doing as he wanted. Ball his hands into fist, twist his ankles counter clockwise. 

It was all working properly for once.

Letting out a long breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, the skeleton rubbed his sockets trying to remember before he passed out.

He was talking to Asgore. The discussion became intense, but he couldn't remember any of the details.

“What the hell happened?” He finally asked. Toriel took a moment before answering.

“You fell down.”

That made him pause. He looked to her waiting for a poorly timed laugh, or some other confession that she was joking.

Her expression remained dead serious.

“I fell down?” It came out more as a statement. Toriel nodded in confirmation. “But I’m still alive?”

“Yes, you are.”

“How?” 

She grimaced a bit at the question.

“I’m sorry, Asgore only wanted to give you more time. There was nothing else he could do.”

That just made him worry more. He was getting an idea of what happened, but he really wanted to be wrong. She took a moment to choose her words, seeing his expression had already darkened.

“Asgore transferred some of his magic to you. With you being unconscious, however, he had to force it straight into your soul.”

His eyelights guttered out for a moment.

That was what he feared hearing.

Shakily he summoned his soul into existence, seeing the steady blue-violet pulse it was letting off. A perfect mix of his medium orchid magic and Asgore’s indigo energy. Upon closer inspection he saw one raised scar unlike the other smaller ones riddling its surface. It was from Asgore piercing it with a single claw.

He stuck his finger between Sans’s rib cage right into his soul...

“Holy Angel above…” He collapsed back into the pillows, holding his face with his hands trying to wish this all away. Maybe, if he was lucky, this had actually been a bad dream the whole time, and he’d wake up with Slim taking up half the bed still and them never having gone on that dumb cookout.

No matter how much he willed it, he didn’t wake up.

He felt like vomiting.

“This was something neither of us had seen done successfully before.” She continued. “We were honestly surprised it worked.”

“Probably because you're both immortal boss monsters.” He murmured into his palms. 

“That… that actually might have something to do with it.” She conceded after giving his statement a moment's thought.

He couldn’t believe this had happened.  
Forcefully summoning another monster’s soul, then manhandling and violating it with their magic. Back Underground he’d seen it done by wretched monsters to their captives and slaves. It was a punishment that he knew personally, and he never wanted to experience it again. Razz showed ‘mercy’ to monsters one too many times, and Gaster wanted to make him understand the consequences. Unlike with Asgore, he remembered everything that happened.

Everything.

Being held down, his soul forcefully summoned, rough claws digging into the sensitive surface, his father’s cold expression and his determination to get the point across. The foreign magic flooding painfully into his being threatening to tear him apart. Memories that weren’t his own. Horrible images of death and torture that were beyond what he had experienced yet in life.

He never spared any of his targets in Gaster’s presence ever again.

He also knew it was one of the methods tested in The Lab to prevent monsters from falling. Eventually it was abandoned for DT experimentation.

That had proven more successful, for better or worse.

“How are you feeling?” She finally asked after giving him a few minutes to internalise the news. There were many things he could have answered with.

Disgusted.

Violated.

Shameful.

“How do you think?” The answer had an air of rude sarcasm, but the goat monster wasn’t bothered. She seemed far more focused on another detail.

“You know, Asgore and I were a few hours away from notifying your brother. If you hadn’t shown signs of improvement by morning we felt it best he knew. We actually both agree that he needs to be told, sooner rather than later.” He peaked through his fingers at her, a deep scowl plastered in his face. She wasn’t deterred. “If you fail to notify him by the end of the month, I will tell Papyrus myself.”

“You have no right!” 

“And you're failing him.” Toriel countered. “If you collapse in front of him like you did my husband and he doesn’t know what’s wrong, things will be far worse for everyone. Besides, I’m sure he’s suspicious that something is wrong already.”

Razz’s soul pulsed painfully at the thought. He didn’t want her too.

Stars he didn’t want her near Slim.

It’s not like he could tell her off in his condition though.

“How long do I have left?” He asked instead.

“In your current state, if you avoid stressors I believe you’ll have until January, maybe February. If you continue on your same path, however, another month or two.” Sighing she pulled out a calendar booklet from her pocket. “Therefore I have come up with a treatment plan.”

“Oh joy.” He rolled his eye lights at the prospect. She ignored it, in favor of what he assumed to be her notes.

“First of all, I would like to see you two to three times a week to monitor your condition. I also believe it’s best you step down from your job at the Fire Department-“

“No!” He shot upright at that. She raised a brow at him. “It’s one of the few things that still gives me joy in this world! You can’t take that away from me!”

“It’s a stressful job that requires you to be in peak physical condition. I’m sorry but-“ 

Razz snatched her hand before he could even think of the consequences. She couldn’t take this away from him. If anything was going to kill him faster, it would be losing this job.

“Please. If you decide when you see me later that I’m not well enough to work anymore, fine. Just, don’t do this to me. Not like this.” He must have looked extremely desperate, given how her face softened. 

“... very well.” She eventually conceded. “However, if you can’t function properly by the time you leave later, I will have to intervene.”

“Thank you.” He sighed genuinely grateful. His career hadn’t been stripped away just yet. Toriel seemed less pleased though, and her expression turned rather guarded. She had taken Razz’s arm from her hand and was flipping it over, examining the scarring far too closely for his liking. He tried to pull away but she held firm.

“Sans… I see a lot of injection sites here.”

“And your point?” Razz finally managed to free himself, pulling the blankets up a little further to hide his scars. He forgot that he didn’t have a shirt on currently, and her inquiry made him feel very exposed.

“I counted over twenty seperate drill sites. Why do you have so many?” Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “How long have you truly been sick for?” 

That made his soul flair in anger. Her prodding wasn’t just inappropriate, but she should already know the answer.

“Sometime after we reached the surface! You know this!”

“Have you been hiding something else from me? You haven’t been trying drugs in your spare time?”

“Why are you so insistent anyway?! You're the one that wanted an army at all costs!” It slipped from his mouth before he could stop it. That made her stop, staring at him in confusion.

“W-what?” 

“Stop pretending like you don’t know.” He growled. Screw it, he already said too much. “After you declared war on humanity, you told the Royal Scientists to create an army no matter the cost. Now stop trying to blame the results of your decisions on me!”

“Those holes are because of me…” She sat back in her chair, looking down at the ground thoughtfully. “The results of my orders… are they the reason you are falling down currently?”

He paused at the question. His first instinct upon seeing the guilt in her eyes was to deny it vehemently. He had trouble lying to her though, and he honestly had no clue if his past as a lab rat lead to his failing health as a consequence. 

He didn’t know.

His silence was the only answer she needed. Toriel stood up from her chair and turned the lamp light off behind her.

“I apologize for bothering you. Your clothes are in the wash currently. I’ll drop them off when they are done.” She stepped towards the doorway, Razz reaching his hand up trying to stop her. He tried to say something. Anything.

No noise came out.

As soon as she left his whole body was wracked with the sinking feeling of horrible, horrible guilt.

“Dammit! why am I such a moron?” He groaned the last part into his pillow. Now Toriel felt horrible because he couldn’t keep his temper in check and lashed out at her. Who knows how Asgore was doing, and he hadn’t heard a peep from Chara, which was extremely unusual.

Briefly he considered sneaking out the window. The sun hadn’t risen yet, so he likely wouldn’t be spotted. Though, he’s pretty sure his car keys were in his jacket, so Toriel probably put them up somewhere. And if he was caught in just his boxers…

“Somebody just kill me already…” He moaned, sinking deep under the thick covers wanting to disappear from the world entirely. For once his soul wouldn’t oblige. Even if his own magic was failing, Asgore’s was stronger, keeping him wide awake and all too alive.

He felt disgusting.

Dammit, why did everything always go to shit for him?

XxxxxxxxxxxX

The good news was Toriel had the sense to drop Chara off at a friends house before joining Asgore in dealing with the shit show he caused.

But the bad news? Oh the bad news…

The two boss monsters were hovering over him like helicopters the entire morning. 

He didn’t understand. Wasn’t Toriel upset with him for what he’d said to her? And he thought Asgore would make himself scarce given the whole ‘forcing magic into Razz’s soul’ thing.

He fell asleep again at some point during the night, and woke up to find everything but his shirt clean and returned in a neat pile, with an apologetic note from Asgore explaining that he had to tear the fabric to access his soul. They gave him one of Chara’s shirts to borrow, which fit him embarrassingly enough.

Then he was greeted with a massive pancake breakfast. Toriel had even decorated them with strawberry and banana fruit faces.

He couldn’t make eye contact the whole meal. The two boss monsters tried to discuss a variety of topics with him, but all he really wanted was to crawl in a hole and hide. Apparently Chara was going out to eat breakfast with their friend, so neither was concerned about leaving the kid out.

They just put all their focus on him, and it weirded him out.

One of them even cleaned the marrow stains from his car the previous evening. Toriel drove behind him on his way home, making sure he wouldn’t crash or pass out during the trip. Once he parked she waved him off and pulled away.

Thank the stars she was gone.

…

“Dammit… she’s going to want me visiting in a few days…” He groaned at the realization.

Stars, why did she make this so awkward?!

Hurriedly he rushed into his apartment, dropping down immediately for some cuddles from a very happy Lord Hater.

“Hey there girl. Sorry I was gone so long.”

“Meow!”

She hopped onto his shoulder and rubbed her cheek along the back of his skull.

Stars he really missed her, even if it was for only one night.

Looking up he noticed Slim passed out at the kitchen table. He had his phone by his head, and looked absolutely exhausted.

Razz’s phone died sometime yesterday, so he had no idea how many calls or text Slim had sent him. Momentarily he considered waking him up, but ultimately decided against it.

He wasn't ready for that conversation.

Right now, he just wanted to take a shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I’ll beta read later. Everything stopped looking like words so I gave up for the time being, but I was excited to get it published lol.
> 
> An eventful chapter, too eventful if you ask me. This wasn’t the original direction I wanted to take this chapter, but I want to keep the plot moving forward, and this felt like the best way.
> 
> Leave a comment if you enjoyed! They help fuel me to continue this madness.


	11. MAYDAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Difficult conversations are had, worries are addressed, and a near death experience on the job leads to something no one saw coming.
> 
> Razz would have had an aneurysm by now if he actually had a brain or blood vessels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Read by AgentBengalTiger
> 
> Thank you to AgentBengalTiger for beta reading this behemoth and improving the quality. your contribution is greatly appreciated.
> 
> WARNING: Graphic depictions of child abuse in this chapter. You have been warned.

“Sans!” Slim rushed over as soon as the elder exited the bathroom, pulling him into a tight hug, right before grabbing him roughly by the shoulders. “Why didn’t you call me?! O-or text me back!?! I-I thought you crashed your car or passed out in a ditch or-“

“Back off already!” Razz had to pull out of his grasp. 

That wasn’t the reaction he expected upon seeing his brother, and it threw him off from his previously planned answers. So much for preparing his lies ahead of time. 

“Calm down, Papyrus! What’s gotten into you?”

“W-what’s gotten into me?! You’re the one that drove off with a head wound!” Slim threw his hands out as if the answer was obvious. “Why didn’t you answer my calls? Or at least text that you were alive?!”

“Oh right.” Razz rubbed his skull already cursing his failing memory. “My phone needs to be charged. I think it’s in my jacket.” 

He shuffled over to the closet where he hung his coat upon returning, pulling the dead cell from his pocket. 

“It died at some point yesterday.” Which was a true statement. 

Slim just clasped his hands together in frustration. “Did you really not even consider contacting me? At all? I was out searching for you all night!”

“You were?” Razz blinked a bit confused. “Why?”

“I-I was worried!” Slim had to stop himself, taking a step back to breath. “Okay then, who healed you?” He tried instead. 

Razz looked off to the side and scowled. “Does it really matter? The wound is fixed so it’s no longer an issue.”

“It matters to me!” Slim growled. “I-I went to Alphy’s place, then I called Asgore, but he didn’t know anything. Muffet even sent her spiderlings out to help search.”

Wait, Slim called the Dremurrs? Likely after he had fallen down, but still. He wasn’t sure how to feel currently. Should he be grateful for Toriel and Asgore keeping his condition quiet like he wanted? Or should he be fearing the number of angry text messages Alphy’s most likely sent him for making Slim panic?

Even Muffet was trying to help, and that spider HATED Razz. The younger stopped his tirade, leaning in to get a good look at his brother’s eyelights.

“Y-your magic. Why is the color off?”

“My magic is fine!” Razz stepped back, cursing himself for being so careless. 

“No, it’s the wrong color! It’s not supposed to be that dark!” 

“And how would you know?! Your memory has always been shit!” 

That got Slim to recoil, but he continued, this time a bit more guarded.

“I’m worried about you… y-you’ve been acting really off, and tired and forgetful. You’re not normally like this-“

“It’s not like you’re around enough to notice!” Razz snapped back. He didn’t like how much truth his brother was saying and he needed to shut him down. “How do you know this isn’t how I am when I’m not under constant pressure to protect the Underground?! You were gone for two years, and we’ve both changed a lot!”

“I-I know I wasn’t around, but I’m here now and-“

“And you are asking personal questions that you have no right to know!”

“We’re family! Of course I have a right!”

“I don’t know what family is anymore!” Razz snarled. 

Slim took a step back, his sockets wide with surprise.

It just made him feel worse. 

“I-I… I don’t know what family is…”

All sound turned to static after that. Slim stared down at the ground trying to hide his tears. He wasn’t saying anything, wasn’t posturing or defending himself.

He looked like he was wracked with guilt.

Razz wanted to apologize, wanted to make things better, but the rage had overtaken his senses and he couldn’t even turn his face away. 

This wasn’t right. 

The world stuttered slightly, Slim’s figure flashing in and out of existence for that of a smaller, more vulnerable skeleton. The tiny figure laid face down on the floor, Razz pinning him by the neck vertebrae while holding a bone club in his other hand.

The weapon came down on the child’s sacrum with a loud crack. The skeleton shrieked and wailed, their voice growing louder and louder with each successive hit. Their HP chipped away little by little until they didn’t have the energy to struggle anymore. Their bones rattled from both fear and pain, and all they could do now was stutter out a slew of hoarse apologies between sobs.

He was down to five HP, and all he could do was plead for forgiveness. 

“F-F-Father….” The child whimpered pathetically. Razz realized he recognized the babybones he’d beaten. It was a ten year old version of himself.

Weak.

Frightened.

And now soaking the floor with marrow seeping down his legs and drenching his shorts.

“I *hic* I’m sorry…. I’m s-so sorry… I w-won’t do it again *hic* I-I promise-“ 

“No, you won’t.” He released the child roughly, standing up to see what room they were in. It was sparsely furnished, nothing but a bare mattress on the floor and one blanket. 

It was Razz’s original room when Gaster officially took him in. If he wanted nicer things he needed to earn it. Whatever the child had done recently though, rewarded him the exact opposite. 

Razz didn’t even know what he had done to deserve such punishment.

Fishing a piece of bread from his pocket, he tossed it on the floor a few feet away from the sobbing child. The only healing item he was going to receive for his near death beating.

“Think about what you’ve done. I’ll see if you learned your lesson by morning.” He marched out of the room and slammed the door shut, his entire body trembling from his sudden identity crisis. He didn’t understand. How could he be in two places at once? Why would he do such a thing to a child?

But he did do bad things to a child before, didn’t he?

Slowly he looked down at his scarred phalanges, seeing them quickly change between his own familiar hands and those of someone with large holes in the palms.

“N-n-no…” his breath hitched and he fell back into the wall, only there wasn’t a wall to catch him, he was falling into a dark abyss, and even his screams weren’t his own.

They were deeper, with a foreign glitchy tone.

He was suffocating.

He was going to die.

He was-

XxxxxxxxxxxX

Razz jolted awake. Bones rattling sharply, his skull dripping with perspiration.

It took a moment to remember he was in his living room, sprawled out on the couch with a notebook on his chest and Lord Hater in his face. She was rubbing herself all over his sweat covered mouth and nasal passage while meowing very loudly.

Shakily sitting upright, Razz tried to take stock of his situation. 

It looked like he fell asleep while studying for some of his final classes. He was so close to graduating from the Fire Academy. Somehow he managed to be top in his class at just about everything, and he wanted to keep that record strong for his finals.

Unfortunately, his sockets had disagreed.

“Meow!”

“I’ll feed you soon. Just give me a few minutes.”

“Meow!”

Razz looked over to the cat with a raised brow bone, realizing she was drenched with his perspirated magic. She looked disgusting.

“Why the hell did you rub yourself all over me then?! Are you trying to be a towel?!”

“Meow!”

“Well now I need to give you another bath!”

“Meow!”

“Whatever! I’ll do it later… stupid ass cat…”

“Meow!”

“GAHHH!” With one last frustrated sigh he threw his hands up in defeat. Stupid ass thing anyway.

Standing up he shakily shuffled to the bathroom, splashing some water on his face trying to clear his mind.

This wasn’t the first time he’d had that dream since nearly falling down. The confrontation with Slim happened nearly two weeks ago, yet the memory was still so fresh, like it only happened yesterday. That shit show of a conversation was always part of the dream, but the events after tended to vary. He was always in the place of Gaster, and he was always hurting a young version of himself. 

Only the method varied. They were always memories of the worst punishments Razz had received, then proceeded to suppress over the following two decades. Now they were in the forefront of his mind again, and he wasn’t sure if it was stress causing it, or a side effect of what Asgore did to him. 

Perhaps both.

Looking into the mirror he frowned. The way the water mixed with his sweat and dripped down his face, it gave him a vertical looking purple trail running down the opposite socket from his scar. It made him look more like Gaster than he liked.

“Like father like son…” the words came to him suddenly. He hated the acid behind them, but it was true. Razz had become far more like his father then he ever wanted to be.

Short tempered.

Stubborn.

Violent.

Abusive.

No matter what he did to change, those facts about himself always remained a constant. A permanent obstacle to becoming a better person. 

It sounded easy enough.

‘Just stop getting so angry!’

‘Don’t be emotional.’

‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!”’

Putting that into practice had been nearly impossible so far. He couldn’t stop his emotions from flaring up. He couldn’t control his mood swings.

And thus far, he hadn’t been able to break from the behaviors he picked up from his father. There was so much coming to the surface now, it was getting hard to discern between truth and made up memories. He could have abused Slim the same way, and this was his subconscious’s way of reminding him how horrible he was. Perhaps that’s what his dreams were, a warning for him to quit while he was ahead.

That Red was right about him.

He could only change for the worst.

It made him want to crawl in a hole and hide forever.

The front door gently opened silencing his spiralling mind. He stepped out of the bathroom seeing Slim entering for a three day visit. He rarely shortcutted into the apartment these days. In fact, he was still acting pretty jumpy since the whole meeting with the Fells. Or at least, since the aftermath of that meeting.

Thinking back on it, Razz could feel only guilt over the whole thing. Though, it had stopped his brother from asking any more questions.

But it reopened an old wound that had already taken years apart to mend the first time.

Razz didn’t know if he could fix THIS MUCH damage before his end, and that scared him more than anything else.

“H-hey bro!” Slim stammered nervously. It was the way he often spoke before they met their alternates. Before he started questioning his own intelligence and self worth. “I-I brought dinner… I hope tacos are okay. T-they are homemade…from-“ He stopped himself, setting them on the counter. “Do you want one?” 

Stars he was trying so hard and Razz just wanted to scream. All his effort. All his struggle and frustration. It all led to this, all his efforts ruined within a twelve hour period. 

It made his sockets burn.

“Sure.” Razz mumbled. He didn’t bother grabbing a plate, seeing Slim was already doing that. Instead he added a quarter cup of dry food to Lord Hater’s food bowl before taking a seat. 

He had to admit, the taco put in front of him smelled divine.

Slim turned the television on and took a seat at the far end of the table with his own portion, digging in while being sure not to make eye contact with Razz.

He was waiting for the elder to make the next move. Razz just didn’t know what that should be. Ultimately he shoved the taco in his mouth to try prolonging the inevitable.

“This… tastes amazing.” Razz couldn’t help but comment. It was the perfect combination of spices, cheese and meat. “Where did you say it came from?” 

“It’s homemade.” Slim shrugged trying to keep the details vague. “I helped though.”

“Oh. My compliments then.”

“Pfft!” Slim nearly spat out his food at the words, much to Razz’s confusion.

“What? What did I say?!”

“Nothing. I-it’s just, I’m not used to you saying things like that.”

“Like what?” 

“Things like ‘My compliments,’ or really anything you said during the PTA meeting to that Linda lady. Y-you’ve always been so brief and serious before. It’s weird hearing you-“

“Relax my speech a bit?”

“Yeah.” He rubbed his neck vertebrae, clearly debating his next words. “Y-you just always acted like… I don’t know… fa- I-I mean, Captain Gaster…. around everyone else, I mean.”

“I… I see.” Razz sighed setting the rest of his taco down. He just lost his appetite.

“N-not that I meant anything bad!” Slim caught onto the mood change immediately. “Captain Gaster was the hero of the Underground! He was brave, a-and strong and… smart.”

“Also cruel, manipulative, and a bastard.” Razz deadpanned. 

He stood up and walked over to the coffee table, where his notes and mug sat abandoned. He went straight for the cup, half full of hours old coffee specially made by Asgore. Throwing it bottoms up he chugged the remainder, cringing at the taste but savoring the increase in energy.

“I-I’m confused.” Slim finally admitted. “I thought you worshipped the ground he walked on-“

“What would make you think that?!” Razz snarled, getting Slim to flinch. He backed off immediately. “S-sorry. I didn’t mean to… why would you think that anyway?” 

Slim started scratching at his wrist nervously. It looked like he was ready to bolt if the elder got any angrier. He had to keep his cool, even if the mention of that man currently made his soul twist with rage.

“You were the chosen one, Gaster’s prodigy… That’s what the others in my study group said… before they died.” He looked off to the side as if anything else would be better than this conversation. Razz couldn’t help letting out a few dry chuckles.

He nearly forgot. Slim knew little to nothing about the elder’s formative years. In this case, it created a disconnect that Razz had never noticed before.

“I would say ‘prodigy’ is pretty far from the truth.” Razz hummed. “I didn’t come out of the Lab as a strong fighter. That took a lot of long, sleepless nights, on top of grueling hours of training.” 

And a lot of beating from Gaster, though he didn’t want to say that much.

This conversation was all too familiar, and this time he had no intention of leaving himself so vulnerable.

“Really?”

“I got out because I’m a survivor, not a combat prodigy. I outlasted my ‘peers’, so Gaster had little choice.” He supposed, technically, he had a lot of magical potential as a child, and after the innocence was beat out of him he caught on quickly to combat and torture techniques. Before that though, it was a nightmare just surviving.

“I-I didn’t know.” Slim murmured. “S-sorry I brought him up…”

“Why are you apo-“ Razz stopped before he finished, breathing deeply to settle himself. “I actually wanted to ask you something related to Gaster.” Stars he wasn’t ready for this, but he had to know.

He just hoped Slim would answer honestly.

“W-what’s up?”

“Am I- did I ever hurt you, like he did?” 

The silence following the question was enough to crush him.

“Like Gaster did?”

“... yeah, like Gaster did.” 

Razz tried to give more of an explanation, but couldn’t get the words out. It felt like he was in a battle against something he knew would kill him, and his entire being was filled with a sudden onslaught of unbridled fear. Ultimately he just nodded, sitting on the sofa and tightly crossing his arms to try and keep them steady. 

What happened to him trying to stay guarded this time?

And why could he face a gang of humans trying to kill him with ease, but having an honest conversation with his brother was bringing him to near panic?

He couldn't do this.

“I-I mean… when I didn’t dodge your bone attacks during training I got hit with them… and there was that time you broke my Rubix cube… That's all I really remember.”

“That’s all?” Razz was a bit stunned by that. He had been having so many dreams about his past that he wasn’t sure what memories were real or made up by his imagination. He thought for sure something he’d done to himself in his dreams, he’d also inflicted on Slim.

“You were always more verbal… l-like you insulted me a lot after a bad day.”

“Yes… I remember that.” Razz could think of more than a dozen moments off the top of his head, and he knew there were far more waiting to remind him what a horrible person he was.

A weight sat on the opposite end of the couch, followed by his brother's uncomfortable humming noises, as if he was trying to come up with something else to say.

Razz tried to think of something too, but he felt another word on the subject might do him in. He was struggling to stay composed already.

“W-well, you definitely have something that Gaster could never dream of having.”

“What’s that?” Razz asked dryly. 

Slim looked over to him with the smallest grin.

“The willingness to change, and the drive to better yourself.”

That was the last straw. His inverted heart crumbled.

…

“Sans?”

“S-sorry…” Razz stuttered trying to hold back tears. It was a fruitless effort. “It’s just… When did the ceiling start leaking? I-I’ll have to let maintenance know…” 

“It is dripping a lot.” Slim agreed knowing better then to point out the obvious. 

Razz sniffled back some mucus, knowing he must have looked like a mess. 

Stars, how embarrassing.

He flinched when Slim held his arm out. It took him a moment to realize it was meant as a welcoming gesture.

A peace offering.

Slowly the elder scooted closer on the sofa and carefully put an arm around his brother, Slim doing the same. Their embraces tightened, and it was the most comforting thing Razz had experienced in a long time. It was a far nicer hug than the one they’d had two weeks ago. This one had a forgiving energy behind it, and it made his tears worsen.

“Sorry about before… and everything else.. I-I’m sorry… I’m r-really trying… I’m trying.” Razz mumbled into his brother’s jacket, the puffy thing soaking up his tears but Slim deciding not to complain. 

“I know bro, a-and I’m sorry too.” Slim assured back.

“W-why is it so hard?” Razz couldn’t help but ask. “Why is being normal so damn hard?” He wasn’t sure if it was directed to Slim, or whatever cruel deity was currently watching over his failures and laughing.

“I don’t know, but as long as you're still trying, I’ll support you. O-okay?”

“Okay.” Razz sighed feeling a tension leave his body that had been wearing him down for weeks. 

Things were far from being normal between them, much less fixed.

But it was a start.

XxxxxxxxxX

It was dark out when he got the page. A large warehouse was burning downtown and they needed all hands on deck.

Razz drove to the fire department as quickly as possible, seeing one of the engines and two ambulances had already been deployed. His engine, number sixty-six, was still parked. The other five firefighters assigned to it were scrambling to get dressed.

“You ready Sans? It’s a big one tonight.” Trisha teased. 

Razz rolled his eyelights, throwing on his uniform and boots before jumping into the truck. She buckled herself in and flicked the sirens on before pulling out, the truck speeding down the road while traffic stopped and pulled off to the sides for them.

“What type of warehouse?” Razz questioned. He had little to no details about this place, or the types of things they stored.

“Not sure yet. Apparently there might be an employee trapped inside.”

He nodded and clipped on the strap of his helmet. 

Razz was on the rescue team tonight, so chances were he’d be going inside if the situation allowed for it. Trisha was on the team with him, along with another fireman he wasn’t as comfortable with. His name was Will, probably the same age as Razz but very reserved. He was seated in the back along with a few others, glaring at the skeleton like he was just waiting for him to freak out and attack or something.

Razz chose to ignore him.

They pulled up to a chaotic mess. EMT’s were on scene looking over warehouse workers that made it out on their own, police officers attempting to clear the streets of rubbernecking pedestrians, and other firefighters already having a hose on the flames. There was even a news crew present and a chopper flying overhead. He hadn’t realized this building was deserving of such attention, but apparently the news channel thought so. 

Trisha parked by the fire hydrant, the men in the back hopping out and deploying a second line. The three on rescue were quick to find the one in charge. 

Joel was Battalion Chief today, or ‘Chaos Coordinator’ as some liked to call the position. Basically he was supervising all of the rescue vehicles and making the important final decisions, like whether they would attempt entering or not. He waved down Razz, Will, and Trisha as soon as they spotted him.

According to Joel, there were actually two employees trapped in the back office, and he decided it was worth the risk of sending them inside. They would be going through the rear entrance since the fire was located in the central and front sections of the building, though the amount of smoke honestly made it hard to tell. A secondary rescue team would be on standby in case they became trapped themselves, but hopefully that wouldn’t be needed.

The three complied regardless, making sure they had the necessary supplies before heading to the proper entrance. In actuality, there was never a guarantee that a building would be safe enough for rescuers to enter. A structure on fire was precisely that. 

A structure on fire.

It was impossible to see through the billowing levels of smoke and determine what areas the fire affected most of the time. Entry was always a gamble, and the decision to send them in could always be reversed at the drop of a hat. 

This wasn’t the first burning building he had entered since starting this career, but this was definitely the biggest.

Door wedge, fire axe, backup flashlight, pliers. He went through the long mental checklist one last time, approaching the back fire exit with his coworkers. Sliding his visor down he took his place behind his coworkers, waiting until Trisha made the call to move. Silently the three walked past the secondary rescue team and entered the soot filled warehouse. 

The smoke was bad upon entry, making it difficult to see anything beyond a few feet in front of him. Trisha and Will were relying on their respiratory equipment to breath. Razz carried one too, though he didn’t currently have it on. He didn’t need oxygen, and he figured if his coworkers needed a backup supply he’d have it for them. They had a general idea on where to go at least. As long as they could stay near the wall they would eventually find the office. That is, if they could keep track of the wall.

Trisha motioned for them to continue. Using her radio she related the call back to Joel. “Rescue team is continuing further in, over.”

“Roger.” The man on the other end answered. Razz tightened his hands into fists, trying to keep an eye out for potential dangers as they kept going. They passed several pallets of boxes, but nothing in his field of vision stuck out as particularly bad.

That much was good, it was one less thing to worry about on his list of growing concerns.

It was hot. Even Razz could feel the heat, and he wasn’t very sensitive to temperatures in the first place. He couldn’t imagine how his human co-workers were coping, they just stared forward heading for their destination with caution. If nothing else, Razz felt more respect for them than he ever had before. They took this very seriously, and their determination in the face of danger was reminiscent of the guardsmen he commanded.

Finally they reached a door with rags shoved under the crack and a toppled pallot partially blocking the door. Razz and Trisha quickly moved as many boxes as they could to gain entry. Will tried the door handle next, but wasn’t able to get it open. He took out his fire axe and swung, wedging his tool between the frame and the door enough to pry it from the handle. Kicking it in they entered, finding two unconscious young humans with fabric covering their faces in an attempt to filter the air.

“Victims have been found. Both are unresponsive. We are bringing them out.” Trisha sent the call. Razz headed towards the smaller human, a female with a pixie haircut. They had only lost consciousness recently, he could see her chest rising and falling. 

She needed oxygen.

He grabbed his respirator mask and moved it over the human’s face, not expecting her form to be yanked away before he could snap it on. Looking up he realized Will had thrown her over his shoulder. His face was hidden behind his respirator and visor, but he could feel the suspicion radiating from him.

Razz didn’t bother answering his challenge. Trisha already had the other human slung over her shoulder and was ready to leave. He was pretty sure she hadn’t seen the interaction.

Standing up he followed them back into the main warehouse, seeing the fire had since spread closer then he cared for. 

They just needed to get out as quickly as possible.

A weird noise stood out above the crackling fire surrounding him. It was like air trying to escape from a tire, quiet but distinct enough to grab his attention. 

His eyelights turned to pin pricks when he realized what that noise was.

A massive gas tank of some kind sat far too close to the flames, partially obstructed by crates making it difficult to see upon their initial entry. The smoke made it impossible to read the label, but that sound meant something was about to blow.

His next slew of actions were entirely on instinct.

Using blue magic he grabbed Will, Trisha, and the two victims by their souls, yanking them behind him and away from the tank, simultaneously erecting a three layered bone wall between it and them. There wasn’t time for him to turn and run. The tank exploded, a hot wave of pressurized air shooting outward followed by a massive ball of flames and a huge bang. It was enough to shake the concrete floor under their feet, and made Razz tumble back a few steps. The barrier was pushed crooked, completely destroying the innermost constructs immediately. The rest of it held though, sending most of the shockwave and flames back towards the main fire.

Some of the ceiling started caving in from the explosion, forcing him to summon more bones as a roof support so they wouldn’t get crushed. He couldn’t even see the ceiling he was trying to hold, just forcing the bones upwards until they hit something and building the rest blindly from there. There were nearly seventy interlocking bones holding the structure up by the time he finished, and the strain on his soul was almost debilitating. He felt like collapsing right then and there.

“Sans!” Trisha was the first to call out for him. She scrambled to get up and help, only to see the bone wall and still standing skeleton. Will was just as shocked. He had a hand hovered over his radio button to call in their own entrapment, but had paused momentarily in pure shock.

“F-fall back! The building’s coming down!” He shoved them towards the exit.

They needed to leave while his magic held.

He wasn’t sure if it was his tone or demeanor, but the humans followed his instructions. Will and Trisha carried the victims while Razz focused all of his energy on keeping the bones strong and stable. If his concentration slipped for even a second the whole building would come crashing down.

Despite the blinding levels of smoke making navigation nearly impossible, all three of them made their way back. The air finally cleared when they were out, enough that they could see the other rescue team about to enter, pausing at the three of them stepping out.

They were safe.

Releasing his magic, every bone still holding the ceiling up exploded into plumes of violet particles, mixing with the flames in an almost beautiful display as the rest of the structure came down. It looked like thousands of indigo fireflies scattering amongst the flames and smoke. The second team all stood slack jawed at the display. Even Trisha and Will were silent, all while that annoying chopper hovered overhead.

His knees gave out.

“Sans? You alright?” Trisha asked. Razz had to pull his visor up to see her, not realizing how soot covered it had become. She had her hands on his shoulders keeping him from falling down further. The victim she carried had been handed off to one of the other firemen. 

“Hey, my eyes are up here.” She called his attention back. He looked up to her tiredly, at some point his sockets had started drooping. Her voice was steady, whatever worry she had well hidden under a mask she put up. Being a soldier would do that, he knew all too well.

“F-fine. T-that just… took a lot out of me.” Razz rasped. “I-I just need a breather.” 

Will made the call on his radio.

“Rescue team is safely out of the building. One potential injury. Two victims recovered, both unresponsive. Bringing them to the front parking lot.”

“Roger that. Ambulances are on standby.” The person on the other end answered back. There was more said, but Razz couldn’t understand through the static.

“Can you walk?” Trisha asked him.

“Y-yes.” He shakily stood, the other wrapping his arm around her muscular shoulder to give him support. She quietly tried leading him towards an available ambulance, much to his annoyance.

“J-just set me down near one of the trucks. EMT’s can’t help me.”

“It’s protocol buddy. They need to take a look and make sure it’s nothing serious.”

“Look at what? I’m a literal walking talking skeleton. Eighty percent of the parts that would concern them don’t exist.” She stopped momentarily at his statement needing to think it over.

“Point made.” She conceded. “Still gotta drop you off. As I said, standard procedure.”

“You're wasting your time.” He rolled his eyelights. Trisha ignored it, instead growing more serious before her next question.

“Those bones, and getting pulled through the air before that explosion. That was you, wasn’t it?”

Razz tensed a bit, unsure how to answer. He had never talked to his coworkers or the Chief about using his magic on the job. He wanted to wait until he could see through his blaster properly to bring it up. Unfortunately, the circumstances didn’t allow for him to wait.

“A-am I fired for it?” 

Trisha just looked at him questioningly, followed by an amused chuckle.“Not gonna lie, that’s a pretty stupid question. You used it to save four lives, so I highly doubt it.”

“Right…” Razz sighed and looked to the ground. He was still nervous about what the repercussions would be to his actions. At his old job magic was absolutely prohibited in all situations. The same was with most monsters in other career areas.

Anything could happen from here.

“Excuse me!” The news reporter he saw earlier was rushing over to them before the police could stop her, a cameraman trailing behind. 

Razz could feel his soul clenching at the prospect, quickly pulling his face shield back down to hide his identity as a monster. He took a step away from his coworker trying to hide himself from the camera. 

“I’m with Channel Six News, could you tell us what the purple lights were before the building collapsed? Is the department testing new firefighting techniques?”

“Please stand behind the police line. This area isn’t safe.” Trisha tried to usher them back but they were very persistent. 

“Excuse me! Sir!” The reporter directed her questions towards him, “Can you tell us about the explosion? What caused it.”

“No comment. Step back into the safe zone please.” He turned more to face her so she would hopefully listen.

A big mistake.

The woman’s eyes widened in realization, seeing his grime covered fangs.

“Sir!? Are you a monster?”

“I said step back!” Trisha stepped between Razz and the reporter, trying to force her back. The cameraman focused his camera onto Razz trying to get as much footage as possible. 

“Sir! When did the fire department hire you? Were the strange lights caused by you?”

Razz didn’t know how to respond. He wasn’t going to answer anything, but would trying to hide now make him look worse? Should he just push them back towards the safe zone like Trisha was?

“Ma’am please come with me.” 

Razz tensed at the voice. Even if the officer was too blurry behind the soot on his visor to make out properly, that didn’t make his voice any less recognizable.

He really wished he could just forget the racist bastard that arrested him and beat him to near death.

Alphy’s was wrong about him, Kowalski, if he remembered right, ultimately getting fired for his behavior. Honestly it didn’t surprise Razz in the slightest. He supposed the lizard didn’t tell him because she didn’t want to admit being wrong.

“Officer, this is information the public needs to know!” The reporter continued to argue.

“Get behind the line or you’ll be under arrest for trespassing.” He said far more sternly. 

That seemed to get the reporter and her camera lackey moving. Finally they were gone, but the racist prick was still there.

“Sorry about that. Ever since that light show she’s been going nuts. We’ve had several more reporters show up, but she’s the only one that made it through the line so far.” He actually sounded remorseful.

The lying snake.

“Appreciate you getting rid of them. We’re still trying to figure everything out on our end.” Trisha explained much to Razz’s chagrin. 

He didn’t want to talk with this man!

Razz turned and headed back towards his fire engine, ignoring the weakness in his legs and willing himself to not trip. His bones were crawling like a thousand insects were covering every inch of him, It was hard to say why this particular man put him on edge. Perhaps it was the fact that if this guy did try something, he couldn’t do anything about it without being arrested or killed.

He felt another type of helplessness, and he hated it.

“Sans? Hey! I said you need to see a paramedic!”

“I feel better! And I said they can’t do anything already!”

She grabbed his shoulder before he could escape entirely. He spun around unable to contain an annoyed growl, and getting another good look at the asshole watching them. Something in the cops mind seemed to click. Razz knew it was over. The racist asshole knew who he was. The instant increase in hostile energy only proved it.

“I’m surprised. I didn’t know your department hired anyone with a criminal past.” He said to Trisha as if Razz wasn’t standing next to her. She tensed at the statement, looking at him incredulously. 

“Excuse me?”

“That skeleton monster next to you. He’s been arrested before for unsavory behavior. Your chief should be more careful in the hiring department.”

She glared at him, still shocked about the blatant statement. Razz was too afraid to say anything, in case he decided harsh words counted as assault.

“... You should get back to work before you get in trouble.” Trisha said coldly, turning away to catch up with Razz. It didn’t take her long given how wobbly his legs were.

“What was that about?” She questioned. 

His sockets narrowed and he looked down to the ground. No matter how hard he tried, it was impossible to force out a decent answer. 

“Did something happen between you and that officer?”

“... let’s just say our first encounter went quite poorly.” Razz murmured. 

Trisha sensed his discomfort, thankfully, not asking any more questions for the time being. She even let him take a seat on the rear bumper of their fire engine, seeing as the racist bastard was standing close to the ambulances, and Trisha didn’t want to deal with him again either.

Razz just leaned against the cold steel, trying to keep his breathing steady. 

He had a sinking feeling about all of this.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Razz stumbled through the door to his apartment building, Trisha having volunteered to drive him home, given how out of it he was on the ride back to the station. She had even convinced him to give her his cell somehow, and contacted Toriel for advice. Thankfully she basically agreed with everything Razz had already said.

Food and a good night's sleep, maybe a full day or two.

He was going to bathe first. That was a must given how filthy he still was.

It took him a few extra minutes to wobble to the door of his unit, fumbling with the keys and finally making it inside.

“Bro!” Slim looked over the couch eagerly.

“What’s going on?” Razz questioned through a yawn, leaning down to greet a happy Lord Hater.

“What do you mean what’s going on? H-haven’t you seen the news reports?”

“... what about the news?” He blinked. Slim just pulled up a link on his phone and ushered Razz over to see it.

“It was on the television earlier. Every station. You’re famous!” He shoved the phone in Razz’s face, a video starting to play of a familiar warehouse on fire.

It showed the building collapsing, with the violet magic erupting from the rubble as it came down. 

_“Onlookers stood in horror when the East City Warehouse blew up suddenly after a fire had broken out earlier that evening. Hope for the employees and firefighters still inside faded quickly when the roof started caving in. However, what was thought to be instant death for the victims and firefighters inside turned into a miracle.”_

The video changed to that news reporter that wouldn’t leave him alone earlier. 

“ _All five individuals that were trapped inside made it out safely, and it is speculated that a monster may have had something to do with it.”_

The image changed to a soot covered Razz being bombarded by that same reporter woman. Even with his dirty visor down, it was obvious by his mouth alone that he was a monster, and the news stations were eating it up. The original audio was cut out in favor of the woman talking over the encounter.

“ _The explosion of color before the building collapsed is believed to be the result of magic. Though we were unable to interview that suspected party, we do know that Mister Sans Serif was hired by the Ebbott City Fire Department in June, and is the very first monster to be employed there.”_

A clear picture of his face showed up, taken by his previous employer. It showed everything. Scars, sharp teeth and glowing orchid eyelights. The photo he had to take for his ID badge.

_“The cause of the fire, and colorful explosions are still under investigation, though we will be sure to keep up to date on any developments. This is Katie Cane with Channel Six News.”_

The video came to an end, a replay button popping up on screen. Razz hadn’t realized he’d taken Slim’s phone from him. His face was hovering only a few inches from the screen, and his fingers were beginning to tremble from the horror seeping through his entire being.

He was angry.

Shocked.

Confused.

But most of all, mortified. 

When did they get that picture? How did they get that picture? And what had they learned about him that hadn’t been added to this particular broadcast?!

“Sans, maybe you should sit down? Y-you’re looking really pale.” Slim suggested. 

“S-sitting down… good idea…” 

In a few seconds he had sunk to the floor holding his skull like it was going to explode. His soul was pulsing out of his chest and all he could do was laugh nervously.

A vibration radiated from his pocket. Gulping he shakily fished the thing out, seeing over twenty unread text messages and an incoming call from Toriel.

“What’s going on?” Slim asked worriedly.

“Answer it.” He shoved the thing in his brother’s face. He did NOT want to deal with Toriel right now.

He didn’t think his soul could take it.

Nodding Slim took his cell and answered.

“H-hello…. sorry, he can’t answer right now… yes he’s seen the news…”

The conversation went on and on but Razz had completely shut them out at this point. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

This HAD to be a nightmare.

That witch had just turned him into a circus show for the public to dig their teeth into, and who knew what the repercussions would be. 

Mass protest to get him fired?

A public lynching for using his magic in an emergency situation?

Maybe his soul would give out before then and he wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore.

“Sans? Can I… ummm…” 

Razz looked over seeing Slim had ended the call and was sitting on the ground a couple feet away. He nodded giving him permission to come closer, Slim tensely wrapping an arm around his back in a poor attempt to comfort him.

At least he tried.

“I don’t get it.” Razz chuckled dryly. “The universe just loves to shit with me.”

“I’m s-sure everyone will forget this in a week. Remember when Alphys joined the force?”

Razz just stared at him blankly.

“Yeah. The media storm and controversy following her lasted months. It was a shit show.”

“O-ohhhh….”

“Yeah… oh.” Razz sighed, hitting his forehead against his knees.

A living nightmare indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter yet, and a lot of stuff happens here. Now the media is honing in on our poor skeleton boy, and the stress is already getting to him. Hopefully that awful police officer won't be coming back any time soon... hopefully.
> 
> Also I included some sketches I made to go along with this story. We got some highlight moments from the PTA meeting, and Razz in his new uniform!
> 
> He pulls off the fireman look very well imao.
> 
> Leave a comment if you enjoyed! Its the fuel that keeps my madness going.


	12. High Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Razz recovers from the warehouse rescue, but now must face the media storm that came with that disaster of a news report, and the consequences it may have on his employment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta Read by AgentBengalTiger
> 
> Thank you to AgentBengalTiger for beta reading this chapter! The increase in quality is clear and I appreciate it!

Drained.

That was the word Razz would use to describe his current state upon waking up.

Physically weak. 

Mentally shaken.

And emotionally, he was just drained. 

He wasn’t sure how long he was out for. After seeing that nightmare of a news report, he went to take a shower, and he honestly couldn’t remember anything after turning the water off. The lights upstairs went off and his body moved on autopilot. Surprisingly he’d managed to pull on sweatpants and his purple hoodie before passing out. How he managed that much he’d never know.

Waking up today had been a struggle. It took him nearly an hour to work up the energy to sit upright, and now came the arduous task of reaching to grab his phone. The date and time was currently a mystery to him, and he really had no interest in solving it.

He knew he would need to figure it out eventually. The world was still turning outside of his bedroom.

Though willfully bringing himself to be a part of it again was another thing entirely.

“Meow!” A familiar cat cried from the other side of the door. 

She was now pawing at the wood excitedly, as if she somehow knew Razz was awake. Clearly she wanted to greet him, and he hated making her wait. At the same time though, that actually required the willpower to stand up and walk to the door.

Then reaching up to grab the doorknob.

And twisting it to release the latch.

Right now, he could barely move his legs out from under the covers.

The magic that allowed him to sit upright was almost entirely Asgore’s. His own was so weak currently, barely a whispering pulse that he had to concentrate to feel.

That fire rescue took more out of him then he realized…. on top of the stressful news after.

It mentaly pushed him to the limits of what he could currently handle, then forced him even further beyond that.

Stars he was tired all over again.

“I’m coming kitty, j-just wait.” Slim’s muffled voice reassured, his feet shuffling down the hallway until the door handle jiggled. 

Lord Hater rushed inside and jumped on the bed, meowing loudly and spinning around wanting pets. Slim peeked his head inside to check on him, face immediately brightening with a big smile. 

“G-good morning bro.”

“Yes, good morning,” Razz groaned in response. “What time is it? Or maybe day would be a more appropriate question.”

“I-It’s… Tuesday.” 

Slim looked off to the side bracing himself for something. Probably an insane reaction from Razz.

The elder just didn’t have it in him to freak out today. 

“Three days then. I thought you were supposed to be heading back to the Fellverse yesterday.”

“I’m not going to leave you alone when you're magically exhausted.” Slim stated as if the answer should have been obvious.

Mweh, Slim acted like he really cared, but it was getting harder for Razz’s mind to interpret what was genuine emotions from other people and what was fake.

Hell, maybe his mind was the only fake thing, or he was just finding it harder to care. After that news report, he blamed the latter.

“How is the fallout so far?” Razz finally asked.

“Huh?” 

“The damage. I’m about ninety-nine percent certain that the news report about me was airing last time I was conscious. If Alphys’s public reception was anything to go on, I can’t imagine how bad I’m getting treated.”

“It’s…. ummm….”

“That bad?” 

“Not really…. b-but it is at the same time?”

Razz quirked a brow bone in confusion. Slim shook his head and rushed to the living room, coming back with the Sunday and Monday newspapers.

“I-I got them from Muffet. Your actions have sparked far more than what Alphys had.”

Razz blinked, taking the papers and checking the front pages. His filthy image in his firefighter uniform after escaping the warehouse was plastered in color across the front page of the Sunday paper, sockets hidden by his visor but sharp teeth still visible. The headline was what really got to him, along with every other article from the Monday paper.

Local Skeleton Monster Saves Four Humans: a True Hero or Ticking Time Bomb?

Should Magic be Used at Job Sites? Local Fire Chief Seems to Think So

Newest Fire Fighter in Ebbot City Resparks Old Debate: Should Monsters Be Allowed to use Magic on the Job?

Should More Monsters be Allowed in Public Service Sectors? This Local Mother Says No

“Bro?” Slim question when Razz didn’t say anything.

He didn’t know what to say at this point. He was expecting his dark past to be plastered out for the world to see. There were no real interviews listed from other monsters, just some words from Queen Toriel when the reporters asked for her opinion on the subject. 

“I-It's not quite the shit show I thought it would be…” Razz breathed. “I thought monsters would be begging to interview with reporters, just for a chance to take a vengeful jab at me.”

“You can thank Chara for that.” Slim smiled fondly. “The kid got in contact with all the monsters they could, g-getting everyone to band together in supporting your place in the Fire Department. Every monster Chara approached so far has refused to interview.”

“T-that's insane….” Razz wiped his sockets trying to be sure he wasn’t seeing things. “I-I can’t believe they would agree to that.”

“Honestly, I was surprised too, but apparently Chara is more loved around the monster community than I thought.”

“I guess they are…” Razz couldn’t help but agree. He would have to thank them later.

“Humans don’t seem eager to make up stories about you either. I-I don’t entirely know why, but the press doesn’t like to speak badly of the Fire Department.”

It was odd, given how eager the public was to throw the Police Department into the firing lines when they hired Alphys. It was insane to him, that the police were so adamant on ‘inclusivity’ among their ranks but still managed to have far too many racially charged altercations.

“Well, I suppose I should count my blessings then.” Razz decided after a few minutes of thinking it over. He was almost surprised no one had tried lighting his apartment on fire yet.

“D-do you want something to eat? I bought protein bars.” Slim offered, sounding a bit embarrassed.

“You like protein bars?”

“W-well, I like trying new foods, so I bought a box of every flavor…”

“Pffft!” Razz couldn't stop himself from cackling. ”Okay, but protein bars are expensive. How did you afford all of that?”

“I have a job you know!” Slim huffed.

“Wait, you do?” Razz blinked.

“I work at the animal shelter in the Fellverse. I’m a pet adoption counselor… Well, until the shelter had to shut down. S-so I guess I HAD a job.”

Razz wasn’t sure what to say. Slim has…. had a job. On the surface world. He didn’t have any idea about that, and after several months of getting closer to his brother, this was hard to hear.

“Why didn't you tell me before?” The question came out quieter than he intended.

“I-I was going to… but the shelter shut down shortly after we started seeing each other again. I… t-thought you would be disappointed.” Slim looked away, scratching at his wrist nervously.

“That’s… amazing Papyrus. Not the shelter shutting down. I-I mean that you had a job like that, and such an important one. How’d you get the position anyway?”

“I-I started out as a volunteer with the oddball animals like rabbits and chickens, then the shelter manager really liked my performance enough to have me help them in administration and-“ 

Slim’s phone ringing interrupted his story, making both skeletons tense. 

“H-hello? ….. yes, he’s awake…. are you sure?” 

It was a little hard to tell, but the person on the other end of the line sounded feminine, and out of all the females he knew with Slim’s number, none of the options were appealing for him.

“T-Toriel is coming out.” Slim stated after finally finishing the phone call.

“Why couldn’t you tell her I was still sleeping?” Razz groaned. Stars he still wasn’t ready to deal with Toriel, not after what happened when he nearly fell down. It had been several weeks, but Toriel was still persistent in keeping an eye on him.

All of the extra attention was proving to be very, very stifling.

“S-sorry bro. I’ll grab you a protein bar and let you get ready.” He turned to walk out of the room, Razz raising a hand to stop him before he completely left.

“Wait!”

“Y-yeah?” Slim turned around questioningly. 

“C-could you tell me more about your shelter position… when Toriel isn’t interrupting anyway.”

“... sure bro. I’ll tell you all about it later today.” With that he was gone, leaving Razz to psych himself up for the unwanted visit.

XxxxxxxxxX

Unfortunately he didn't have much time to mentally prepare. Toriel had come within the hour, and was currently holding his kitchen hostage while she boiled some water and warmed something up in the oven. All of Razz’s attempts at helping were either answered with a scolding for him to rest, or one of Toriel’s infamous death glares.

Before long she had completely set the table with her warmed muffins and steaming cups of herbal tea.

“This seems pretty elaborate for a checkup.” Razz commented, looking over the entire setup.

“I figured we could have a light snack during our chat, like we did during your debriefings way back in the day. Remember?” Toriel placed a cup in the empty space across from where her paperwork was situated.

“I do.” 

He almost grinned remembering those fond times. The few moments when he met with her and they had the time to sit in her garden and chat. Those rare times he could enjoy decent brews and the best muffins in the Underground.

Almost.

“Uhhhh, s-should I leave?” Slim questioned.

“I have no issue with you staying. We will leave the final call up to Sans though.” The two looked to him for an answer. Of course she had to force the final call on him, and it didn’t feel right sending his brother away.

“Sure, you can stay Pap.” The younger almost seemed surprised by the decision, but took his seat without comment.

Toriel prepared an extra cup of tea for Slim before sitting herself.

“You created quite a stir in Ebbott City.”

“Blame that reporter! She wouldn’t leave me alone!”

“Regardless, it has happened, and now the populace is buzzing about monsters and magic usage in public. This was not something I thought we would be dealing with again any time soon.”

“It went ‘so well’ for us the last time.” Razz grumbled under his breath. 

That was entirely sarcasm. Humans feared monsters so much they made public use of magic illegal, and many employers declared any workers caught using it would be immediately terminated. The fact that Frank hadn’t done so when they returned from that fire rescue was a miracle in itself, and if the headlines were to be believed, he was defending Razz’s actions too.

Alphys had somehow managed to abide by that rule as far as Razz knew, even though her magic would definitely assist in catching runaway suspects. 

“Unfortunately, the knowledge of your previous arrest has also gotten out, and a particular… person has decided to use that to rile up some of the populous.”

“And who would that be?” Razz asked with a quirked brow bone. 

Toriel just looked exasperated at the question, pulling up a video on her phone and passing it to him. The clip had only been posted three hours prior, but it made Razz’s metaphorical gut sink.

It was a news report, showing at least a hundred protestors marching in the center of town. The news reporter was quick to begin his report. 

“I am standing outside of City Hall where a number of concerned citizens have decided to protest. What you may ask? A local monster in the Fire Department used magic during a rescue earlier this week, and now humans are questioning his credentials, and whether or not he’s truly safe to trust with our lives.”

The reporter made it to the front of the mob where the organizer was currently standing, completely ready for this interview.

Her face made Razz’s magic boil.

“Ma’am, why are you protesting today?”

“To stop a menace of society from continuing to lie to our citizens!” 

Linda, from the PTA, was currently leading the entire group of protestors. He could see Helen right behind her, and he had no doubt more of her lackies were around as well. 

“It is in public records that he was arrested for assaulting four civilians, on top of two police officers. How long until this monster shows how much of a MONSTER he really is?! We citizens of Ebbott City will not stand for this! Our children deserve better!”

”That’s a lie!” Razz slammed his fist into the table, resulting in the wood cracking. 

Thankfully, it didn't collapse entirely. The tea was still stable.

”All of us are well aware, but unfortunately monster-hating humans are latching onto that narrative and running with it. They are calling for your immediate termination.”

Razz sat back, clutching at his racing soul trying to settle it. This was so many levels of bad, He wasn’t sure how to respond. He was going to lose everything over this. If he had let the building crush them all, then this wouldn’t be an issue.

Somehow though, he still couldn’t find any regret in his actions. He had saved lives, and that’s the job he agreed to do. It was just unfortunate the action came back to bite him.

“I… I take it you wanted to talk about actions to combat these claims?” Sans sighed.

“I do, but unfortunately, I don’t think you’ll like any of the suggestions.”

“Let me guess. You want me to step down from my job?”

“No, I believe doing so now would cause more harm than anything, making the protestors and any wary citizens believe these false claims as correct.”

That’s… not what Razz was expecting to hear.

At all.

“So what do you propose instead?”

“With these skewed claims about your run in with police, it’s likely that your superiors will question you about this, though I’m unsure if they will try terminating you or not. It may be best for you to share the video with them-“

“NO.”

“Sans, I know you don’t want people thinking less of you, but this may be the only chance to keep your name clear despite the claims against you. You won’t get the same leniency as humans.”

“I know that already!” Razz snapped. He had to pause and take in a deep breath before he could continue without cursing. “I already know… but I can’t lose face to my coworkers either. I… I just can’t do it.”

Slim sat quietly watching the exchange. It was clear he agreed with Toriel. The way his mouth started moving in protest when Razz refused the idea, and how tense he was now with that disapproving, sad glare.

He didn’t understand how hard this was for Razz. 

He could never truly understand.

“... please, just hold onto this, in case you choose to reconsider.” The goat monster slid a USB drive right next to his cup. “This contains the video footage from that day. If the need arises, please. Use it.” 

The look on her face was a mix of pity and genuine concern. He didn’t enjoy seeing Toriel like this at all.

“I… shall keep that in mind.” He murmured. 

“Thank you Sans.” She sighed, almost sounding relieved by his words.

The rest of their meeting flew by rather quickly. Toriel wanted to do a physical exam to make sure he was “recovering from the magical exertion” decently, though he knew the real reason. Thankfully she didn’t find anything too alarming, and even slipped him some more or Asgore’s specially made coffee beans.

“It’s almost the end of the month Sans.” She eyed him knowingly. “I hope you haven’t forgotten what we discussed?”

Damn, he was afraid she would bring that up, and with Slim waiting in the other room too.

“I have not forgotten.” Razz growled, gripping at his chest trying to feel the weak pulse of his soul. He needed to tell his brother, he knew that. 

Still, just the thought of approaching Slim and saying it outright made his legs tremble. 

He needed time to mentally prepare.

Time that he was desperately low on.

She just nodded, letting him put his soul away and returning to the living room with him.

“I fear I must be going now. Chara wanted to see that new Moana movie, and we don’t want to miss the early showing.”

“Have fun.” Slim stood and waved her off. 

She gave Razz one last, long look before shutting the door.He knew what she was thinking. If he didn’t tell Slim the truth soon, she would.

Turning around, Razz spotted his brother taking a seat and turning the television on.

Now was as good a time as any, he supposed.

Slowly he took a seat on the opposite end of the sofa, staring at a stain on the wall trying to calm his racing soul.

He could do this. Just say that he was falling down and get it over with.

Any second now, some sort of noise would come out of his moving mouth.

Why the heck was he such a coward?

“Is everything okay bro?”

He jumped at the sudden question. Slim was looking him over carefully, like he was attempting to read Razz’s mind or something.

Stars dammit, he wasn’t ready.

“Everything is fine brother.” 

He inhaled deeply, exhaling again trying to steady himself. It felt like he was in a battle and a few hit points away from dusting. Instead of being able to face the threat head on though, he was freezing up.

Was it because he had grown soft since coming to the surface? His soul weakening gradually over time? Or perhaps, because it was his BROTHER he was trying to tell.

Just get it out already!

“I-I have something…important to tell you. I-it is not easy for me to say…. uhhh-“

“Bro. It’s okay.” Slim sighed.

He sounded tired.

Razz had to pause for a moment to process, his Adrenalin skyrocketing at what that meant, and how much he already knew.

“I-it is?”

“I know I went off on you before about the tape and the whole court case thing….” The younger looked to the ground. “I’m…. d-disappointed that you won’t share it still, b-but I will respect your decision.” He looked to Razz directly, almost pleading for him to accept the explanation.

The elder wasn’t sure what he should be focused on. The fact that his brother had just scared him over nothing, or that Slim was being so calm about Razz’s answer to Toriel’s suggestion.

“That’s not- I-I mean….” Razz’s courage seemed to vanish with whatever energy he still had. 

He really needed some coffee.

“T-thanks… that’s good to know.”

Slim instantly relaxed at hearing the words, fishing out his phone and focusing his attention on who knows what.

Razz stood up and headed to the kitchen.

He’d tell Slim later. Right now he needed an energy boost.

XxxxxxxxxX

Driving to his workplace wasn’t a problem.

It was actually trying to get into the building while avoiding the angry mob of protesters camped out in front that proved challenging. There were two police cars there, Alphys being one of the few officers on scene. They were there to keep the area in front of the emergency vehicle garage cleared, but that was the extent of what they could manage. There were only three officers for a crowd of almost a hundred people, and the sight made Razz’s soul sink.

He didn’t know what else he expected. Frank had sent everyone an email the other day and assured everyone that there would be law enforcement present to keep the protest from escalating, but with the bareboned three cops they sent, it was hardly surprising they would struggle at keeping the peace. He had likely expected more help than this.

He’d had a feeling wearing a hooded jacket would be a good idea before heading out, and he was glad to have listened to his instincts. Parking, he pulled his hood over his skull and bandanna over his mouth. He got out of the car, keeping his head down and heading straight for the back entrance.

It was fine for a few seconds, until he heard an unknown voice shouting at him.

“HEY! WHO’S THAT?!” 

Crap!

His magic started flaring out of anticipation for a fight-

No!

Don’t hurt the humans. 

Don’t show violence. 

Don’t prove the newspaper right.

His socket was still burning with anticipation though. He was forcing down the instinct to fight, and now he wasn’t sure what to do with his heightened fear.

“THAT’S HIM!” Someone else shouted. About ten of the mob members were approaching him now. Radiating poorly placed fear and anger.

This was the end. Either he fight back and screw over the rest of his kin, or let them drag him off and hang him by the neck on a flagpole-

“Sans! Get inside!” Joel stepped out of the building, getting between him and the approaching protesters. Razz didn’t wait for another order and rushed to the back door.

Thankfully Joel gave him the time he needed to get inside the building without being stopped by the mob. 

Why did he think it would be…. more controlled? He didn’t know what words he was looking for. It was hard to think when his soul was beating out of his rib cage. Despite being a former Guard Captain, he couldn’t even keep his damn anxiety in check for a short walk.

There was a team meeting happening right that moment, he just couldn’t bring himself to move until his nerves were under control.

The angry mob of people that just wanted him dead didn’t help matters. 

After a few minutes, Joel came through the doorway with one of the officers escorting him. Joel waved the man off before turning his attention to Sans.

“Hey, Sans, you okay?”

“Fine.” 

That was the only answer he could really manage. He was untouched, so technically it was true.

“Good to hear at least. I’m not sure if you received the message I sent earlier, but Frank wants a meeting with you right away. Are you able to meet with him now?”

“I doubt I have much choice.” Razz sighed. 

Now that Joel mentioned it, he did remember getting a message this morning, he just forgot to actually open and read the thing. Not that it mattered anyway. He already knew this meeting was bad news.

What the hell else would Frank want to talk to him about on such short notice?

His fingers hovered over Toriel’s flash drive currently hidden away in his jacket pocket. He still didn’t know if he should offer it forward, or just resign on his own.

It was all too much to think about at once without freaking himself out. 

“Has anything like this happened before?” Razz couldn’t help but ask.

“No, I’ve never seen anyone hold a protest outside the station before. Usually the media leaves our department alone. We aren’t sure what to do with all this negative attention currently.”

“Sorry about that…” Razz looked to the ground unable to make eye contact.

So his presence was having worse consequences than he realised…

“Come on. Let’s not keep him waiting.” 

Joel started walking, Razz trailing behind him like a lost puppy. The two eventually passed the overflowing conference room. Razz couldn’t stop himself from peeking inside. He saw too many of his co-workers all standing around the tables speaking in hushed murmurs. Will and Trisha were having a private conversation, while a few EMT’s met Razz’s gaze for a split second.

He had to look away.

They were talking about him, that was obvious. He just didn’t know if they were saying bad things about him, or taking bets to see how quickly he would be fired.

Before he realized it, they had already stopped in front of Frank’s office. 

He wasn’t ready for this.

“Good luck man.” Joel gave him a reassuring pat on the back. 

All Razz could do was nod. Quickly he went through his breathing exercises hoping to calm his trembling. He had no idea when it had started, but he knew he couldn’t show weakness. Clenching his free hand he turned the door knob with the other, seeing Frank sitting at his desk looking a bit disheveled.

“You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Yes, please come in and have a seat.”

Razz did as instructed, his arms held tightly to his sides and breathing shallow. He had to stay strong. He’d faced harsh talks and negotiations before, but then he could tell himself it was all for his Monarch and fight through any fear or paranoia he was feeling.

Now, he was facing this only for himself, and he didn’t know if it was that fact, or his chronic illness that made the pressure of this meeting so much worse.

“We have received troubling reports over the last few days. Most were from humans that had clear racial bias, and presented stories and claims that could not be validated.”

That was good, right? His boss hasn’t immediately turned against him. The man was thinking things through.

“However, we did receive one report that could be validated, and even the Chief of Police is requesting that I look into this matter. And given the laws against use of magic while working, it could have further repercussions.

“... and what would that be?” He gulped, afraid to hear what story was spun to his employer.

“According to the report, you were arrested by two police officers after attacking four humans and beating them badly without any provocation. You then resisted arrest and attacked the officers that apprehended you.”

“That’s a lie!” Razz growled out more harshly then he intended. 

He had to breathe and steady himself at seeing Frank’s shocked reaction.

“I-I apologize. I meant to say that the report is false. Though I did beat up four humans, it was done in self defense. The officers…. they attacked me.”

Frank wrote down a few notes on his statement. Razz continued looking at the ground, playing with the flash drive in his pocket.

“Though I wish to believe you Sans, you have the statements of the four civilians involved, as well as the officers both corroborating their story. They had even threatened to bring charges against you and force my hand. I don’t know what exactly to believe, but from the sounds of it, this is proving quite serious. If they are right, then there is leverage that the law can use against you. They are already claiming you are a risk to keep on the force, with your recent display being their biggest arguing point.”

“Tell me…. what will you do then, if you end up agreeing with them?” Razz half whispered the question.

“The most straightforward action would be for you to resign, which would get the protestors to leave and settle the tabloids.”

“.... and if I didn’t resign?”

“.... I am afraid termination may be on the table.”

The words made his soul skip a beat. Despite this being what he expected to happen, hearing it said by Frank of all people really hammered in the fact that he didn’t want to lose his job. He wanted to keep working here until his bones gave out entirely. 

He didn’t want to go.

“What is that?” Frank asked.

Razz blinked, not even realizing he had pulled the flash drive from his pocket. He was holding it to his chest now, his mind unable to process his next action. The answer would have been obvious to anyone else, but his stubborn ass pride made his body freeze at the last second. He could just resign, walk out of here saving face and not humiliating himself. The public would think they were right in their assumptions, but the video would never be seen by anyone else.

On the other hand, he would lose one of the only things that still brought him joy in this world. 

The purpose he had, the drive to get up everyday and do something with his dwindling amount of time.

It would all vanish in an instant.

….

Shakily, carefully, he extended his arm and set the drive in front of Frank, trying to gulp down his panic.

Razz didn’t want to be fired. He didn’t want to lose everything all over again. Not this close to the end of his life.

He couldn’t lose this one thing, pride be damned.

“I-it’s the proof you said you needed… the reason why charges were never pressed despite the claims.” Razz looked to the ground, already feeling the last of his dignity slip out from underneath him. “.... watch it.”

Frank silently took the drive and plugged it in.

He had no idea when Frank started watching the footage, or when he finished. Sound had become nothing but a solid block of static, not even rational thought was able to break through it. 

His body was tingling from the sheer adrenalin of that last decision. He felt like he would pass out again, but forced his sockets open out of pure stubbornness. It barely felt like he was present. Was this the sensation humans called an “out of body” experience? Or perhaps he was simply falling down into that dark abyss again?

He couldn’t say, and whatever Frank decided after watching the video didn’t even register.

He was able to interpret a few words. Questions about why he never shared this too begin with, if he had ever tried seeking legal action against the police department.

All he could do was stare at the floor.

Shame, disappointment, fear. 

Emotions not becoming of a former Guard Captain, though perhaps matching the pathetic whelp he had become.

He knew at one point Frank had dismissed him, he just had no idea what the words his boss told him afterwards ultimately meant. It didn’t really matter though.

None of it mattered.

Razz shuffled out of the office, his head hung low and legs ready to buckle.The video that had caused him so much stress and grief over the last few months, the bane of his existence.

It was out there. 

His employer had seen it, and he felt like the scum of the earth for sharing it.

How could he face Frank ever again after that sorry display?

The answer was obvious, even if he hated to admit it. He wouldn’t have to, because they were still going to fire him. This meeting hadn’t changed matters. It had only humiliated him more.

It was all useless.

What was he going to do now? He would never find more work with his face plastered on every website and newspaper in town. Then again, he only had a few months left to live. Maybe he could return to his old home Underground and die peacefully there? No one knowing where he went, just letting him slip into the darkness for good and never having another worry again. It felt optimal at this point.

He was too damn tired to think much beyond that.

“Sans?” Trisha’s voice echoed through his head. Slowly glancing up he noticed it wasn’t just Trisha in the hallway. Will was right behind her, his expression neutral and eyes avoiding his own gaze. All the other firefighters were there too, even the ones that weren’t supposed to be on shift. Twenty-one co-workers in total, all waiting silently for his response.

“S-sorry.” He looked off to the ground shamefully. “I’ll pack my things and leave quietly. There is no need to force me out.”

“... just stay here, alright? We need to talk to Frank.” Trisha walked past him, giving him a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before entering the office. Everyone else followed suit, all quietly walking by Razz and forcing themselves into the office that wasn’t meant for so many bodies at once. They couldn’t even shut the door all the way, letting Razz hear a majority of the conversation.

“Frank, we need to talk.” Trisha stated.

“I must say this is unexpected. What can I help you with?”

“Has a decision been made of Sans’s employment?”

“That I cannot answer at the moment. Is there anything else?”

“Yes there is. With all due respect sir, we don’t want Sans fired. He’s a part of the family now.” Trisha informed.

“If you go along with demands from the protesters, we will all walk out with him, and won’t be returning.” Will continued. 

All twenty-one human firefighters and EMT’s stationed in the same building as Razz were making their agreement known. 

It was too much.

He could feel wetness pricking in his sockets. Not even his fellow Guardsmen showed this much loyalty to him, and hearing it directly stated by his human colleagues… his soul was overwhelmed.

It was too much to handle.

He needed to get away.

Gripping his chest Razz made it to a break room chair before collapsing. He was trying to comprehend the words that he did hear before leaving the hallway. 

It had to be a cruel joke. No way would a human say he’s a part of a…. he couldn’t even think about the word.

A reassuring hand on his shoulder made him jump. Joel was standing there, gifting him with a kind smile.

“You left before everyone had finished their demands. I was worried you were leaving the building already.” 

“I-I don’t understand. Why would you all risk your jobs for a monster?”

“Weren’t you able to hear Trisha’s speech? Maybe you missed that part. Basically, we don’t want you fired under false pretences. It ain’t right.”

“But if the protestors don’t let up, then what?”

“Humans have very short attention spans. This will likely blow over in a month. I know you aren’t in the Union yet due to your part time status, but Frank and I are gonna discuss that later.”

It was still hard for him to understand what Joel was getting at. The words weren’t registering like they were supposed to. Unions, lawyers, attention spans. He just needed a straightforward answer.

Just one. 

“A-am I fired?” 

“No, you aren’t fired yet.”

Not fired.

Not yet.

He was still employed here.

It was like a monumental weight was just lifted from his exhausted shoulders. 

His soul was still pulsing. He needed to breathe.

He just needed to keep breathing.

“Sans?”

“S-sorry.” Razz whispered, clutching at his chest. “... it’s just, you have no idea what a relief that is to hear.”

Even if he wasn’t out of the woods with this whole situation, he knew his coworkers had his back now, and that was a greater relief than he could have ever asked for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want to read more adventure with Razz and Slim? Check out:
> 
> *Light Drizzles*
> 
> It is the result of our comment and Discord conversations between Bookyrm and myself, and offers a mix of humor and angst with no real plot.
> 
> It also gets into some Razz backstory details that wasn’t planned to be added here. If that plus a branching timeline adventure interest you then check it out!
> 
> Leave a comment if you enjoyed!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Light Drizzles](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27324196) by [BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount/pseuds/BookwyrmFinallyGotAnAccount), [PorterHawk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorterHawk/pseuds/PorterHawk)




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